It Wasn't Alway Like This
by PMValois
Summary: Beca's alcoholism is destroying things. When she saw Chloe at a party years after they had graduated from Barden. She didn't know who she was. After a painful situation Chloe ends up in a coma due to Beca's actions. Beca's family is desperately trying to keep a handful of life changing secrets hidden. Chloe Beale was ruining it all and breaking a promise she wanted to keep.
1. I don't need your help

**_It's not always like this. It's not always this hard. It's not always this confusing and frustrating. It's not always like this. I swear it's not always like this. She just came out of nowhere. Oh my god I didn't even see her! One second she wasn't there and the next she was right in front of me. I didn't mean to. I didn't have time to take a breath. Bam, she was right there in front of me. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make it okay. I don't know how to make it stop. I don't know how to fix it. Fix her. Fix me… It's not always like this._ I'm sorry.**

* * *

"I don't need your help!" Embarrassment was written all over my face. "Just back off." I turned quickly on my heels so he wouldn't see the tears forming in my eyes. My heart was racing; I could hear the smallest of sounds around me as I ran as fast as I could. I fumbled to get my keys out of my pocket; dropping them before I could put the key in the door. My eyes stung as the tears finally began to fall. "Shit." I picked them up, hands trembling. Unlocking my car, I got in and started the engine before Jesse could catch up. I pulled out of the gravel pit and turned right onto the road. Driving until the turn off was long behind me, I pulling over abruptly on the side of the road. My face felt red hot, my body trembling and my lungs felt like someone was twisting a white hot knife through them. The harder I tried to breathe the less air my lungs felt like they were receiving. My knuckles looked as if they were going to burst out of my skin from gripping the steering wheel so hard but that same wheel was the center of my universe at that moment. Everything else was spinning and melting around me, it almost felt as if I was caught in an out of control dream. The wheel being the only anchoring thought that reminded me that this was a living nightmare that wouldn't end by the simplicity of the sun rising in the morning. If only this were a dream, I could use lucidity to control everything. I could just change it if I didn't like it. My stomach started to twist and knot like it does in the moment you realize you took one too many shots. I clenched my eyes shut as I threw my hand to the door latch and shoved the it open. Stumbling out onto the edge of the road I could feel the sharp shards of gravel cut tiny little slits in my hands as everything and nothing all came up my throat at once. When my body was as empty as my heart felt I fell into the cold grass, feeling the night dew seep through my dark blue t-shirt. I could hear running water in the distance, crickets and the slow dinging of my car alerting me that my door was open. I laid there for minutes, maybe even hours. Time was completely irrelevant. Time wasn't real. I laid on my side and let my eyes fall where they may. Unable to form a conscious thought other than that this is how I was going to die. For some unknown reason I was content with that, I was content with just closing my eyes and going to sleep forever.

 ** _"Beca_ _stop running!" I heard a voice from somewhere but all around me was dark and my legs wouldn't stop propelling me forward. A nervous feeling swarmed in my gut at the sound of the name I left behind so long ago. "Becs, please I can help you." I heard the ticking of a watch and realized I could do this. I could stop running, as soon as I did I could see trees in front of me. I could feel the cool night breeze and smell the pine trees. I walked slowly to the nearest tree, reached out and felt its old exposed bark. A smile fell upon my face. "Beca?" A bright eyed girl stepped out from behind a tree, slowly approaching me. I stood very still debating on whether or not I should hold my breath. "Beca, let me help you." Her bright blue eyes felt like they were piercing through every wall I had ever built within myself. She gently offered her hand out to mine. I looked through the branches to the starlit sky before letting my eyes fall back on her brilliant face. I reached my hand out to take hers, hesitating just inches away._**

I threw my arms out realizing I was still lying next to my car on the side of the road, my breathing normal again. I stood and looked around, shivering in the night air. I glanced up remembering the stars in my dream. Stepping into my car I started the engine and drove slowly up the road. My eyes swollen and my throat sore from crying I tried to focus on nothing but the lines on the road before me. Not fully sure that I knew where I was, I followed my instincts. I glanced down at my phone, _"_ _Hey kid, heard you're having a rough night. Why don't you stop by here for a bit? I'm sure the crew and I can think of some way to make you feel a little better. -J"_ I glanced at the clock to see that it was only midnight, so when his road magically came up on the right I turned. Parking my car behind his old blazer I stopped to take a few sharp breaths before walking up the sidewalk into the music and laughter filled house. I didn't hesitate at the door I let myself in and pushed my way through the crowd of people to the kitchen where I knew the crew would be posted up.

"Aww, look who finally made it!" Jared jumped off the counter to give me a bear hug. "And covered in grass?" He questioned with curiosity in his voice. I shook my head and started laughing when I realized how stupid the story was. "There's that pretty smile, my dear sister. Want a drink? A bowl? Hard drugs? We've got it all." He nudged me with an elbow.

"Just a drink." I paused thinking for a moment. "Why don't you have a momentary lapse in judgement and let your hand fall a little heavy for me?" I looked up at my giant younger brother, appreciating what a kind young man he'd become. He winked and wandered off to the other side of the kitchen. I turned to his friend Travis and hugged him. "How have you been?" He went on and on about school and work. Talked about his daughter and how he feels lost while she's out of state visiting her grandmother. His eyes glistening brighter than I'd ever seen before. A smile twists up onto my face as I enjoy the simplicity of his company for a moment before Jared returns. Handing me a red solo cup I whisper a thank you before sliding up onto the counter. "So who are all these people?"

With a slow shrug my brother laughs, the sound echoing around the kitchen like music. "Some of them I know from work, some are friends from schools, others I met at the bar or were a guest's plus one. Why see anything you like?" He nudges me again before pointing out a few girls that were in the surrounding area. I just shake my head flashing back to where I was just hours before.

"Hey, are there still any of my clothes in the spare bedroom?" He thought for a moment.

"We don't have a spare bedroom." He raised an eyebrow before continuing, "If you mean your bedroom? Then yes." I laughed harder than I should have. "Becs, I missed you."

"I don't go by that name anymore brother." The hair on the back of my neck stood up. With the combination of the alcohol I drank before my roadside incident and the strength of this drink my head felt a lot lighter than it should have as I slowly walked out of the kitchen and down the hall, took a right and stopped to pull the hidden ladder down from the ceiling so I could go into the old loft I spent so many months living in. I gripped the cup between my teeth and unsteadily made my way into the dark room, stumbling around in the dark I tripped over something and smacked my head on the wall. "Ouch, fuck that hurt!" My voice angrily echoing around the room. I found the light switch and stood in shock for a moment. My heart beat slow but heavy against my ribcage. I sat down at the old dark oak desk, running my hands over the smooth wood. Everything was just how I left it. The only noticeable difference I could see was that my bedding had been changed and my clothes had been hung up. I lifted up the old handmade leather journal that I had been given years and years ago as a peace offering. I'd spent months and months filling it with drawings, feelings and words. Setting it back down I set my cup on the edge of the desk and walked to the area where all my clothes were hanging. I reached out and grabbed a plain long sleeve thermal, slipping off the still damp shirt I was wearing and dropped it on the floor. A sharp pain shooting through my shoulder, I pulled my tank top off and slipped off my jeans. Standing there in my black lingerie, I stretched my arm forward and then out to the side before grimacing in pain. "Shit." Pushing on my shoulder and lower neck I could feel the swelling, tenderness making me flinch at the pressure of my own hand on my flesh. I closed my eyes as thoughts rushed into my mind. Letting my voice carry the lyrics from "Titanium" from my chest.

 ** _"_ _Why can't you just stop? Why can't you just quit?" Anger filled my veins as if I were being accused of something I didn't do. I hated it when someone told me that I had a problem, I don't have a problem. I just enjoy drinking. "You're an alcoholic Skylar." I clinched my teeth almost as tight as my knuckles before silently shaking my head. I turned to walk away, to run away, I just wanted to escape. I turned sharply and reached for the half empty bottle sitting on my desk. "Skylar stop!" Her hand wrapped around my wrist, the warmth burning my skin. "Let me help you, please." Her voice was like throwing gasoline on the fire ragging inside my chest. I took a long pull_ _off the bottle before cringing at the harsh taste in the back of my throat. Anger bubbling inside me like a geyser, I threw the bottle in a mess of broken glass and alcohol at the wall. Tears stung my eyes, but I wasn't a pussy. I didn't cry, it's not something Beca Skylar Mitchell ever did. "You're lost and hurting Sky."_**

 ** _"_ _Do not tell me what I am feeling. I don't need you. I don't need your help or your pity. I'm here like this because of you." As soon as the words left my mouth I knew they were much sharper than I had intended them to be, I was just so pissed off. I was so tired of everyone looking down on me. Just because I drank sometimes doesn't make me some horrible monster. I risked taking a glance at the girl in my room. Pain was carved into the lines of her broken expression, sadness echoed in her brown eyes. "Please just go, you're wasting your time."_**

 ** _"_** _ **I'm not leaving." Her words struck a nerve. I turned quickly and picked up the desk chair, smashing it against the wall. "Fuck you. No one is ever going to love you like this." I watched my best friend storm down the steps that extended from the loft floor to the hallway. My breathing became labored as the floor felt like it was rocking. There were way too many thoughts spinning through my head, feelings tearing through my chest. Looking around I saw my face smiling beside so many other faces in old pictures. Pictures from middle school, soccer, football games, camping trips and music festivals. My eyes stopped on a picture that should have come off the wall a long time ago but I never really found the strength to take it down. I slammed my fists into the wall, tearing down all the pictures and letters. Smashing them into a pile on the ground. When I got to a picture of the brunette with green eyes I stopped, carefully taking it off the wall. My thumb gently ran over her face, so bright and full of life. Her nose squished a little with a giant heart melting smile on her face as I was smashing my lips into one cheek and pushing hard on the other side of her face with my hand so she couldn't escape. My stomach lurched and I could feel how uneasily the alcohol rested in the deepest pit of whoever I was. I stumbled sideways leaning into the wall for support. My legs gave way and for the first time in months I sat on the floor with my knees pulled to my chest. My lungs gasping for oxygen and tears fell so hard I thought I was going to flood my house.** _

"Come on Skyler, get your shit together." I muttered to myself softly before reaching up to wipe the moister from my cheeks. I tilted my head back, opening my eyes to stare silently at the ceiling. I let my head drop to the full length mirror in front of me. "Holy shit!" I spun around faster than I thought was even possible. "I-I-I uh- Umm." I fell silent because I wasn't exactly sure what to say.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I uhh- I- I saw the light on and I got curious! I didn't- umm, realize someone was up here." She glanced me over for a moment before spinning around in an attempt to make me feel less exposed. "I'm so sorry!" She reached up and gripped the back of her neck. Then quickly she pointed to the open steps and added, "I'm just going to leave."

"Wait! Its's okay." I sighed, knowing fully well that my face was as bright as her long curly red hair. "Umm, where have I seen you before?" I pulled a pair of pants off a hanger sharply and slipped them over my pale short legs. I yanked my long sleeve on so quickly it caused a painful shooting feeling to go through my shoulder and arm, trying to wince I glanced at the red head. Taking in the image of her very fit body. Pushing down semi inappropriate thoughts as they persistently invaded my intoxicated mind. "Okay, you can turn around. I'm not naked anymore." I heard her laugh softly before she turned around slowly. Her eyes made my breathing hitch for a moment.

"I'm Chloe. Chloe Beale." Her smile made my stomach do a weird thing that I hadn't felt in years. "I'm sorry for like totes making that an awkward situation. I just saw the light on and heard you singing. My curiosity got the best of me." Her eyes traveled down my body and shot back to my face, which now was stamped with a knowing smirk.

"Curiosity killed the cat." I shot back quickly, chuckling slightly.

"Satisfaction brought her back." Her response smooth and calm. Her soft smile making me blush, unsure if she was flirting or just being friendly. I rubbed the back of my neck nervously before reaching for my cup. "Is this uh- your room?" She raised an eyebrow looking at the blank walls, the book shelves covered in journals and black and white furniture. It was a simple question even though it unraveled my nerves a little.

"It was. I guess. A couple years ago when I first moved here. Jared's my brother." I nodded my head in an awkward bob before sipping my drink. "I live in an apartment closer to the work now. Needed my own space I guess. Jared's always telling me I can come back; this is the first time I've been up here in almost two years." I looked around slowly, debating on whether or not I should pick up the journals sometime.

"What's in the journals?" Chloe asked as if reading my mind. My body stiffened. I dropped my eyes to the floor to avoid her overwhelming blue eyes. My palms felt clammy.

"Lyrics, songs and poems." I paused daring to glance at her. "Lame stuff I guess." She shook her head and laughed. Locking eyes with me.

"No! That's awesome. There's got to be at least 60 journals here!" She was amazed, which made me curious. Her eyes sparkled with excitement and that sparked something inside me that confused me. She stepped closer.

"I swear I know you from somewhere." My voice was low. "Like dude, I swear I know you. Like really know you from somewhere." Chloe tilted her head slightly before raising an eyebrow. "I need a refill." I said staring longingly at the redhead before looking down at my empty cup. Shifting awkwardly, I smiled at the redhead in front of me. "Want anything?" I asked politely.

"Yeah, I'll come with you." She said before turning around towards the steps. I couldn't help but watch as she walked in front of me.

"Watch the second step, it's a little wobbly. I keep forgetting to fix it." She glanced back with a soft smirk on her brilliant face. I followed her down the hall and into the kitchen. "What can I get you to drink pretty lady?" She mumbled something about having whatever I was having. I laughed before turning to the freezer and digging around. "Hey Jared where is the good stuff at?" I shouted over my shoulder at my brother. I was sure he didn't hear me so I dug around a little bit before remembering we always kept it on the bottom shelf behind the frozen peas. "Yes, he's always been a creature of habit." I heard Chloe laugh softly behind me. I could feel her standing extremely close behind me.

"Why behind the peas?" She asked as I turned to face her.

"No one likes frozen produce." I set the whiskey down on the counter. "Serve the other stuff and drink the good stuff for yourself." She nodded softly as if she were taking a mental note. I added ice to the cups on the counter in front of me and poured our drinks, I started to pour her beverage lighter than mine.

"I said whatever you are having don't hold out on me." She paused for a moment like she was in deep thought. "I never caught your name?" She leaned against the counter to staring intently at my face. I blushed nervously.

"Oh yeah I'm-" I began to say before my brother slammed three shot glasses on the counter.

"She's Beca Skylar Mitchell. Don't you dare forget it." He grinned ear to ear. "Pour us a round Ms. Mitchell." He turned to Chloe taking a quick inventory of the tall redhead before elbowing me sharply in the ribs. "Well who is the gorgeous being?" He asked teasingly.

"Oh hello, I'm Chloe Beale." She said sweetly, extending her hand as a polite greeting. Jared took her hand swiftly, raising it quickly to kiss her knuckles. I noticed the quick look of caution he shot at Chloe.

"The pleasure is all mine madam. I'm Jared Russell Mitchell." Chloe laughed shyly. I shot him a warning look. "Oh I should inform you that she goes by Skylar." He dropped Chloe's hand and replaced it with a shot glass. "To lovely people and great company." He raised his glass high in the air, the guests around us raised their glasses in agreement. "And keeping promises." He added quickly. I looked at Chloe shaking my head in amusement. She shrugged innocently and raised a glass. We tossed back the shot, before we had time to recover from the burn in the back of our throats Jared handed us another shot. We threw that one back really quick before I handed her the drink I had poured and replaced the bottle in the respected spot it belonged. I grabbed Chloe by the elbow and steered her away from the guys that were checking her out with a hungry look in their eyes. We walked outside and stood on the porch. Sipping our drinks in silence, my head spinning from the alcohol I was still trying to connect where I'd seen her before. I swear I knew this woman.

"So Beca. I- I mean Skylar. Tell me about yourself." I shrugged as a chill went down my spine. I ran my hand through my hair absent mindedly. "Come on humor me." She bumped into me playfully.

"I was born in California. Grew up in Seattle." I took a sip of my drink. "I'm a libra. My favorite colors are black and white."

"Those aren't colors!" She laughed quietly. I glared at her. "I'm sorry, please go on." She smiled into her cup. I'm not sure if it was the alcohol or what but damn she was beautiful.

"There's not much to say. Umm- I played soccer growing up. Most the time I was holed up at home writing or playing guitar." I took a long drink trying to swallow the memories of what felt like a different lifetime.

"Well you obviously sing." She said with a glint of something I couldn't pin point in her eyes. Admiration maybe? I shook my head violently.

"No I don't!" I exclaimed. "Not really." She leaned into me, I could feel her body heat radiating. "How's your drink, need a refill yet?" She nodded slowly and linked arms with me as I turned towards the door. My body warming at her touch. We walked a little unsteady into the kitchen where I poured us another drink. Each drink progressively getting stronger. I tried to tug her away from the counter as I locked eyes with my brother knowing he was going to pour another round of shots. I turned bumping into someone. "Shit dude, seriously watch where you're going." Anger flaring through me at the almost spilled drink in my hand. I glanced up in shock when I realized it was my older sister Alex. "Holy shit! I wasn't expecting you." She engulfed me in one of her famous hugs, I held my cup up in hopes of not spilling on either of us. "How have you been?" She smiled slyly before planting a fat kiss on my cheek. I glanced at Chloe who was staring in confusion.

"I'm great! How are you? How's work? How's the apartment? I thought you had plans tonight? I was going to surprise you tomorrow after work. Have you been writing? Any new mixes?" My sister rambling on and on, I was still looking at Chloe who seemed to shrink away from the scene. Alex followed my gaze. "Oh. Sorry was I interrupting? I'm Sky's sister Alex." Chloe's expression changed to anxiety. Alex reached out and hugged the tall redhead. Who seemed to be speechless. "And you are?" Chloe opened her mouth to respond and closed it.

"This is Chloe." I said loudly over the guys shouting at the beer pong table. Chloe shot me a look that said graditude. Chloe started some small talk as she noticed Jared pouring another round of shots.

"Look, now all we are missing is Megan." He said before turning around.

"You spoke too soon brother dearest." A voice shouted from the doorway, we all turned to see Megan walking in with two guys on her tail. A huge smile crossed my face. "Baby sister, you just get even more gorgeous every time I see you." She threw her arms around Alex and I, I reached sideways for my brother. "We're all here now." She said stepping back. Jared passed out shots. I handed one to Chloe and pulled her into the circle in fear she would disappear. I let my hand rest on the small of her back until she glanced at me. I blushed when I realized why she was looking at me and dropped my hand. A look of sadness overtook Megan's face as she looked at her siblings. She slowly raised her shot, "To Buba." We all nodded solemnly. Before repeating her and drinking the alcohol in our hands. "He'd be proud of all of us." Alex smiled in agreement. I scratched the back of my head uncomfortably as I felt Chloe's eyes searching my face for something. One of the guys walked up behind Megan and wrapped his arms around her waist. The other stepped next to Alex and took her hand. "Skylar, Jared this is Ryan. And that's Brad." We said hellos and I turned to Chloe. She smiled reassuringly. "Who is this?"

"This is Chloe Beale." I offered.

"Like the Chloe Beale?" Megan asked flashing one of her best smiles. "The girl who single handedly saved the a Capella program at Barden?" Chloe blushed and nodded. "Girl you know you're like a legend right?" Chloe's blush deepened.

"Oh it's not that big of a deal and I totes had help from an amazing group of women." She stated humbly. I stared wide eyed. She looked more uncomfortable than ever.

"No if it wasn't for you however many years ago there wouldn't be any programs like that left in this town." Megan was beaming with excitement. She noticed Chloe's quietness and composed herself. "It's great to meet you."

"Likewise." Chloe responded avoiding eye contact.

"Hey we'll be right back." I was hoping to pull Chloe from the moment because I could see it was a little overwhelming for her. I grabbed her hand and pulled her back towards the loft. We ascended the steps before I realized there were two people making out. "Dude go find somewhere else, this room is off limits." They scurried away quickly as I took a seat at the desk. Chloe sat on the queen sized bed. "I'm sorry about that." Chloe looked at the journal on the desk. I was well passed drunk at that point and I felt like gravity was pulling me towards her. I picked it up and opened it while slowly walking to the bed and sitting next to her. I flipped through the pages. Before stopping on a messily scripted page.

"Will you let me see some of it?" She asked softly. I hesitated while I ran my fingers over the words on the old pages. I handed her the book before laying back on the bed. Her voice was soft as she read the words that once made my bones ache. I closed my eyes letting it take me back.

 _"_ _The sun sets on those of us with empty hearts. Words hanging in the crisp air. Silence echoing in the sky. I can't seem to stay in one place. I'm searching. I'm searching. Always looking. Always looking for you. I hope that I'll find you in the trees. Where the moss grows on the scarred edges of the bark. I've grown tired so I'll lie my head down. But even in my dreams I'm searching. Always looking. Always looking for you."_

I sighed softly. Clinching my eyes closed tight. Chloe sat in silence for a moment before I could feel her gaze on my face. I opened one eye to look at her. "What?" I sat up suddenly super self-conscious.

"You wrote that?" She asked with a sweet smile twisting up on her face. I nodded before taking the book from her hand and putting it on the pillow. "Wow." She laid back crossing her hands on her chest. I laid down next to her, enjoying her in silence. I turned my head to see her facing me. My eyes falling to her lips. I sat up abruptly. I stood and walked across the room, pushing on a couple boards on the wall behind my clothes. I removed a board and pulled out a bottle. Lifting it up like a trophy. I removed the cap and took a long pull before grimacing and handing it to Chloe. She took a drink and handed back the bottle. I took another drink.

"Can I ask you something?" She nodded before removing the bottle from my hand and taking a drink. "What are you thinking about?" We passed the bottle two more times in silence before we both laid back on the bed.

"Walking in on you singing earlier." Her eyes locked on the ceiling, I tried to wash the lump in my throat down with the alcohol. She took the bottle from my hand and took a huge drink. "Kissing you." I turned towards her. She set the bottle on the ground before rolling onto her side. I reached out and tucked a long red curl behind her ear. "How hard it is to read your emotions." She added. I pulled my hand back and looked back at the ceiling. "What are you thinking?" I tried to think about it for a moment but was distracted by the fog the alcohol was creating. I sat up, alcohol hitting me full force. I stood quickly, her mimicking my movement. I turned around to say something, her face just inches from mine. I knew I should pull away but the electricity pulsing through me wouldn't let me. I hadn't felt anything this exciting in a long time. I hadn't felt anything in a long time. Her hand rested lightly on my hip, sending chills through my entire body. I connected our lips. Parting my mouth slightly to let her tongue slip into my mouth. The kiss hot and passionate. I gently pushed her back onto the bed. Slowly leaning over her body, pulling her long smooth leg up, running my hand up her thigh. Our mouths still pressed hard against each other. Her hands burned the bare skin on my back. I pushed her higher up on the bed before straddling her. My thoughts were solely on the way my body felt so alive with her hands twisting into my hair. I tugged her shirt over her head, placing my mouth on the nape of her neck. Biting softly on her collar bone. A soft moan escaping from her chest. She tore my shirt off, throwing it across the room. Her hands roaming my back. I pulled back. Chloe bit her bottom lip, eyes locked on my mouth. She reached for the clasp on my bra, I slammed her hands down above her head and held them there.

"Are you sure?" I whispered into her ear, her hips pushing up towards me she nodded quickly. I returned my mouth hungrily to the redhead's. One hand still holding her hands above her head, the other tracing softly across her beautiful skin until I reached the button her jean shorts. Unhooking it, I let go of her hands. She started to push her shorts down.

"Skylar?" I jumped off of Chloe, startled by the voice that came from behind me. "Are you fucking kidding me?" Chloe scrambled up off the bed. "Who the hell is this?" I stood up in shock, words escaping me. I looked at Chloe who was looking for her shirt. Looking back at Jesse I didn't know what to say.

"What are you doing here?" Finally came out of my mouth.

"I walk in on- wh- whatever this is and that's all you have to say to me Skylar Mitchell?!" Anger flaring in his eyes.

"I'm just going to go." Chloe whispered now fully clothed. Sadness and panic filled my chest and I felt like I was going to get sick.

"Wait Chloe! Please you don't have to go!" I stumbled drunkenly over to the redhead who was blushing and horrified.

"Yes you do." Jesse stated. Chloe glared at Jesse. Who clearly was enjoying the awkwardness in the air.

"He's right." Chloe said before rushing down the steps.

"Chloe wait!" I tried to go after her but Jesse grabbed my arm. I pulled away. "What? What do you want Jesse? I'm done. I don't want you here. I don't want you. Why can't you just get that? I don't know what you think I need from you but you're wrong." I pushed passed him. Running down the steps and around the hallway corner into the kitchen. I stopped, scanning the room for a glimpse of red hair. I made eye contact with Megan briefly. All of a sudden all too aware that I was only wearing a bra and jeans. She pointed towards the front door. I grabbed a bottle and my keys off the counter and ran out the door after her. The grass cold on my bare feet I ran to my car, dropping my keys again. I scrambled to find them and got in the car. Taking a drink as I started the engine. I pulled out of the driveway and started driving down the road looking for her along the edge. Still drinking steadily from the liquor bottle I was clutching. I pushed on the gas to make the car go faster. I couldn't let her walk home in the cold on this winding road in the dark. I took a corner a little too fast and swerved to miss the headlights coming towards me. I was blinded for a moment and all of a sudden a flash of red hair was directly in front of my car. I jerked the wheel hard and slammed on the breaks before I heard a loud thud and then connected with a tree beside the road. The air bag went off and for a moment all I could see was black. I choked on the blood filling my mouth before throwing the door open and falling to the ground with heavy impact. I laid in a pile of broken glass for a moment, feeling the glass dig into my exposed shoulders. I rolled over trying to stand up. Stumbling sideways into the side of my car. I was trying to adjust my eyes to the dark, looking around for Chloe. I heard her crying softly. I tried to run towards her but pitched forward smacking my face hard on the ground. I crawled over to her fragile body. Panic rising quickly when the amount of blood around her registered. "Chloe, oh my god. No! No! Chloe I'm so sorry!" I pulled her into my lap before realizing I needed to call for help. "Someone help! Oh god! No no no no no! Help! I need help!" I saw headlights coming from behind us. Tires squealing on the pavement. I heard a door slam.

"Skylar?! Skylar!" My sister's voice screamed from behind me. I could hear multiple people running.

"Call 911! Fuck fuck fuck. Chloe I'm so sorry!" I couldn't breathe.

"Beca?" Chloe managed to choke out. "Don't leave me." Her eyes fluttered closed.

"Chloe, no wake up please wake up." I was shaking her. Her eyes opened. Her hand sliding into mine. Colder than before. I held her as close as I could. Megan tried to pull me away. "No! I can't leave her." I tugged away from Megan frantically. Blackness creeping into my vision. I fought it as hard as I could but eventually I couldn't see anything. All I remember is clinging to Chloe's hand.

 ** _Trees surrounded me in the darkness. My chest felt heavy. I could hear someone's voice calling my name in the distance. I tried to stand up but my body hurt so bad. I wasn't sure I could move. "Beca, please." The voice was faint but I had to find it. Using a tree, I pulled myself up despite the screaming pain in my head and muscles. My mouth tasted like iron but I ignored it. I stumbled forward straining to hear the voice again. "Beca, don't leave me." The voice was closer, I pushed forward. Tripping over a fallen branch. I looked up to see Chloe laying on the cold ground. I crawled over to her. Her hand reaching for me, I reached out to grab it-_**

A bright light burned my eyes, I couldn't hear anything but I could feel the bed underneath me. The needles in my skin. I blink away the harsh light as my eyes adjusted. Megan stood on one side, Alex leaning over behind her. I could hear the steady beeping of a machine and I realized where I was. My thoughts still foggy as I gained my senses back. "Chloe?" I asked my voice raspy, throat burning. Megan looked at Alex for an answer. Fear evident on her face. I tried to get out of bed to look for her but the pain was blinding and the darkness overtook me again. My vision fading all I could hear was the steady beeping and Alex's voice.

"Chloe might not make it Megan." I heard the machine change tones as I let out a breath. "Someone help!" Alex screamed before the nothingness took over.


	2. I swear I know you

**_"_ _Beca, why are you being like this? I can't do this anymore. I can't handle this. I love you but I'm just so tired. I'm too tired to do this anymore." I looked at her for the first time in a really long time and I could see in her eyes exactly what she was talking about. She stood up abruptly and swung her legs back over the railing we were sitting on. I followed smoothly. "Stop." She said dropping her head and watching the rocks skip away as she kicked them. "Just don't Beca."_**

 ** _"_ _What are you saying Lindsey? My stomach twisting when her green eyes locked on mine. Her long dark brown hair blowing in the wind. Reminded me of a movie. She looked away before slowly moving her hand to the inside pocket of her coat. She pulled out an envelope with my name scripted perfectly on the front. "What's this?" I asked taking it hesitantly._**

 ** _"_ _Go home and read it." She stepped forward resting her hand on my elbow. Her lips pressed into my cheek, the connection colder than ever before. "Go home." I stared at her for a long moment before turning toward the trail that led back to my car._**

It hurt, every part of my body hurt. I felt like I was choking. My throat and chest burned so bad. I coughed and gagged trying to clear my air way as I blinked my eyes open. "Hey honey calm down." Megan pushed my hand back down on the bed brushing a strain of hair from my face. "Let's get a nurse in here and see if we can get that damn thing out of your throat." Alex ran for a nurse and they removed the tube and the rush of air stung my lungs. My mouth felt like I hadn't had a drink of water in days, I looked over both my sisters. Taking note of the bags under their eyes, the puffy redness and their pale complexions. I closed my eyes and grimaced at the feeling of swallowing. The car accident flashing through my mind.

"Chlo-Chloe?" I croaked as I attempted to sit up before Alex shoving me back down.

"If you get out of this bed Beca Skylar Mitchell, I will personally break both of your damn legs." Alex's eyes glaring at me with the older sister authority. "She's alive. Just focus on you for now." Her eyes softened. She was the oldest but no one ever said she was the least emotional.

"Oh thank the god I don't believe in!" Jared exclaimed coming around the corner with coffee for our siblings and himself. He kissed my forehead. "You almost had me praying there for a minute tiny one." He smiled that sweet smile of his.

"Is dad here?" I whispered because anything louder would have hurt too much. Jared averted his eyes. Alex turned around to get a nurse and Megan cleared her throat.

"No, he's in New York for a meeting." His eyes sad as he knew how painful that would be for me to hear. Jared sent Megan and Alex back to his house for showers and food. I knew it was a ploy so he could get to talk to me alone. As soon as I knew the girls were gone I started crying. "She's alive, she's not awake but she's alive." I was tracing shapes with my eyes on the ceiling listening to his words. "Chloe suffered serious head trauma. I couple broken ribs. They had to go in and relive pressure from the swelling in her brain a while ago." My eyes shot to his face, realizing his beard was outgrown passed his normal hipster look.

"How long was I out?" He sat down running his hand through his hair.

"It was two weeks ago Skylar." His voice barely audible. He watched my facial expression twist in horror.

"I hurt really bad, can you get me a doctor?" I asked slowly rolling onto my side to face away from him. I could hear his chair scoot back and his feet shuffle across the floor. I closed my eyes praying that this was all some twisted messed up drunken dream I was having but the overwhelming guilt told me it wasn't.

* * *

"Ms. Mitchell. You ready to go home today?" The short Asian doctor in front of me was smiling one of those professional smiles but I could see how tired she was. "You're functioning perfectly considering." She shrugged with a teasing smile. "How's the pain level today?"

"Like a three and a half." I looked at my brother who was unpacking clothes from a bag. "Can we please go get a beer." The doctor laughed but then shook her head.

"Ms. Mitchell, you shouldn't mix your medication and alcohol. Maybe you should lay off drinking for a bit. Isn't that what got you here in the first place?" I nodded with a little disappointment in my eyes. "Get dressed and then I have some release forms for you to sign and you're good to go." Jared followed the doctor out the door. I stood and walked to the pile of clothes in the chair next to my bed. Black skinny jeans, a black tank top, purple flannel and a pair of chucks. I smiled to myself knowing that my brother knew me so well. I walked slowly to the door, still kind of sore and stretching muscles I hadn't used in too long. "Here, I need you to sign this. These are your medications, use them only as needed. You'll be sore for a few more days but you should be back to normal in no time." I took the clipboard, scribbling something that probably didn't even look like my name. "You're good to go. Come back in two weeks for a brief checkup. Otherwise I don't want to see you in here again. Understand me?" I nodded before something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. The doctor rested her hand on my shoulder. "She hasn't woken up yet, but she can still hear you if you want to stop in and say something." Jared pushed me forward gently when I hesitated.

"I- don't know what to say." I confessed. I had too many words and emotions swirling inside of me. I walked to the door and stopped.

"Just let her know you're here." Doctor Yang said only loud enough for me to hear. The last words Chloe said to me flashed through my mind. I had to tell each foot to take one step one in front of the other. The doctor closed the door behind me to give me privacy. There was an empty chair beside her, I looked around to see a couple bouquets of sunflowers. Otherwise the room was empty, the beeping of the machines made the air feel thick. I sat down as quietly as possible. Chloe looked as if she were peacefully sleeping. I reached out and brushed a stray piece of hair from her face. Trying to avoid staring at the bandages on her head. She looked so fragile laying there in nothing but the hospital gown. I pulled her blanket up a little higher. My face stung, I touched my cheek realizing that the burning was my tears.

"Beca Mitchell pull yourself together." I muttered sitting back in my chair, trying to get a decent breath of air. I leaned forward again and took Chloe's hand. Realizing she had been alone this whole time. "Chloe, I don't know if you can hear me. Bu-but I'm here. I'm here. I'm sorry it took so long." Tears falling at full capacity. "Chloe Beale, I'm so sorry. Please wake up. Please. I know you're probably tired. I know it's probably easier just to let go. But please, keep fighting." The lump in my throat grew too big for words. I sat in silence for a moment before putting her hand back on the bed and walking out. "Ready?" I asked avoiding my brother's protective stare. He fell in step behind me. I strolled out into the sunlight, enjoying the only true warmth I'd felt since the accident. "Where's your car bro?" I asked scanning the parking lot for his black Acura. He tossed me a set of keys. I clicked the lock button, raising an eyebrow when I saw the lights flash on a BMW convertible. "What the hell?"

"Get well present from father." He didn't even try to mask his disgust. He was the least forgiving when it came to our father's absence. No matter what excuse he used that week.

"Shit." I got in the vehicle and turned the engine on. Instantly loving the feeling of the revving motor. I pushed the button to put the top down before looking down at the radio. "Bluetooth? Awesome." I connected my phone and put on one of the thousands of mixes I had. We drove listening to music and enjoying the day. A twist of guilt in my stomach as the image of Chloe came into my mind. "Hey there's something I need to do." I said as we both got out of the car. Jared looked at me eyes swimming with concern. "I won't drink. I just," I paused, "need to do something." I followed him inside, Megan passed out with her head in her boyfriend's lap. Alex in the kitchen arguing with her boyfriend about something.

"Hey, you're home." Alex rushed over, hugging me a little too hard causing me to grunt. "Oh shit. Sorry." Her face reflecting sadness and worry. I spun around quickly, startled by a loud thud from the living room.

"Oww." Megan moaned from the floor, lying flat on her stomach. "That hurt." Her voice whiny from grogginess. She got up slowly and walked over to me. "Good to have you home." She rubbed my shoulder. "How are you?" I sat down at the bar stool, resting my face in my hands.

"Guys, I feel like I'm missing something. Like when there is a word on the tip of your tongue but you can't remember it for the life of you." I lifted my face just in time to catch my siblings exchange a secretive glance. "I'm going to go rest upstairs." I drug my feet across the floor and winced in pain when I reached up for the cord to the loft steps. Pulling myself up, something felt off right away. I looked around noticing that half my journals were missing. Including the one Chloe had me read from. I stuffed a few in a bag and tossed it out of the loft window in hopes of avoiding any questions. "Hey guys? Umm, where did the rest of my journals go?" Jared sighed.

"Told you she would notice." His voice angry. Megan elbowed him in the ribs.

"What are you talking about?" Alex tried to lie but the lack of eye contact was obvious. I rolled my eyes and walked outside to retrieve my bag and drove away. Slowly driving in the direction of my apartment. I stopped by the office to get a new parking sticker. Then ran off to my apartment. I pushed the door open slowly taking in all the music equipment on the tables and desk. Papers all over also. I began to straighten everything up. I opened the fridge and reached for a soda before deciding on a beer instead. I slumped onto the couch, unzipping my bag to remove the stack of journals. I popped a painkiller and I drank my beer and began reading. I got up and grabbed the rest of the twelve pack out of the fridge before posting up on the couch again, turning page after page. Searching. Always searching. Always looking for you. I got through all of my beer and half of the notebooks before nodding off.

 ** _"_ _I love you Beca, I've loved you since the moment I saw you in the quad on your first day." Her voice broke at the end of her sentence. "I love you Beca Mitchell." I couldn't see her face but I knew her voice. "Beca, don't leave me."_**

I sat up beads of sweat built up on my forehead. Looking around feeling a little disoriented, until I realized I had fallen asleep on the couch. The sun had set and my apartment was freezing. I stood up, knocking the book in my lap onto the floor. Bending over I noticed an entry that looked if it had been written while I was hammered because the ink was smudged and the handwriting was extremely inconsistent. _"_ _I don't know how to find the words to tell you this. But I think it's you. I mean… forever. I think you're it for me. I wish I knew how to tell you this. I just keep giving you all these lame ass mixes. I'm sure you're getting tired of them by now. I just want to wake up to those sapphire eyes every morning for the rest of my life. I've never been able to express my feelings. Most people don't think I have any actually. It's different with you, I don't have to speak you just seem to know. You know me better than I do. But I wish for once in my damn life I could just verbalize the thoughts in my head. I'm so tired, I'm just ready to be done with this. I'm ready to start a new journey…_

 _I love you. Always."_

I flipped back a few more pages, standing in the center of my living room. Scanning as many pages as I could as quickly as possible, I couldn't remember writing any of it. "What the hell?" I sat on the edge of the couch feeling overwhelmed, my chest began to constrict in that panic kind of way. My hands shaking violently, stumbling slowly into the kitchen, jerking the fridge door wide open I remembered it had been a long time since I last was home and everything in the fridge was probably expired. Shuffling to the closet in my room I put a light jacket on and locked my door on the way out of the apartment. Journal clutched in my hand I wandered down the block to the late night café.

"Hey hun, long time no see. How are you?" The brunette behind the counter asked, still focused on wiping down the counters. Forcing a small smile, I pulled out my wallet. "Your usual?" She looked at my face, clearly registering the bags under my eyes. "Tall?" I nodded before handing her the cash.

"Keep the change." I grumbled before sitting down in my usual spot by the window. I leaned against the cool glass, watching a couple walk by hand in hand I closed my eyes.

 ** _"_ _You know; it really won't kill you to smile." Her voice interrupted my thoughts as I was punching some new information into the music program on my laptop. I was fighting back a smile as she sat next to me on the grass. I could feel her gentle weight pressing into my shoulder. The sun's warmth on my back was almost as comforting as her head resting on my shoulder. I closed my laptop and put it in its rightful place in my bag. I shot a look at my watch to see how long I had before having to leave but no matter what time it was I feel like I would have to leave too soon. "Beca, this hurts." The frailty in her voice made my chest tighten. "I'm tired." I inhaled deeply knowing all too well how she feels._**

 ** _"_ _I am too." I pushed her off me softly so I could get a better look at her face, the sun causing her eyes to shine brighter than usual. "I'll fix it." She nodded slowly. She'd heard those words before but this time I meant it. She sighed, the sound rigid and broken. "I promise." I locked eyes with her, pressing my palm to her cheek. "Don't leave me, not now."_**

"Here you go hun." The barista placed my coffee on the table, jolting me awake. She placed a hand on my shoulder, "I'm glad you're okay. I'm sorry about what happened." Confusion must have been written all over my face, then it clicked that she was talking about the accident.

"Thank you." Mumbling softly, I turned back to the journal and began reading. The most uneasy feeling washing over me, I leaned my face against my hand taking gulps of coffee ever few minutes or so. My eyes began to get droopy and fighting to keep reading wasn't working anymore. I waved at the barista as I ducked out into the cool night air. Well after midnight and foggy from my medication I trudged on in the direction of my apartment. "Hey Skylar." The guy that lived across the hall hollered as I fumbled for with my keys. "Wanna come over to my place for a little fun?" His voice menacing and disturbing.

"Fuck off." I spun around to shoot a warning glare in his direction before backing into my apartment and slamming the door closed. I locked the dead bolt, kicked my shoes off and plopped down on my bed. My eyes fluttered closed with the image of Chloe laughing at my brother's was playing on loop in my head. "Chloe, I'm so sorry."

The sun warm on my face I pulled the pillow down to shield my eyes, the clock on my bedside table informing me it was only 9 am. A long groan escaped from my chest as I pulled myself up and still sore I wobbled to the bathroom to take my medication and brush my teeth. I decided to stuff some of the journals in my bag and go for a walk. The sun made me hopeful for a moment as I turned onto the sidewalk. Quickly darting into the café I grabbed another coffee and continued walking. Before long I was standing at the entrance to the hospital. The lump in my throat grew increasingly uncomfortable. "One foot in front of the other Mitchell." My voice was raspy. I looked down at my hands, shaking uncontrollably again. I followed an older woman through the doors and walked up to the main desk. The receptionist looked welcoming and friendly, I wondered if she actually liked her job or not. "Umm," I set my hands on her desk. Her eyes filled with concern when looking at my defeated posture.

"How can I help you ma'am?" Her voice smooth like honey. I was struggling to make eye contact with the young woman. "Are you okay sweetie?" I nodded slowly and cleared my throat.

"I'm- I'm here to see Chloe Beale." She typed something into her compute quickly, stared at the screen for a moment and directed me to Chloe's room. I stood in the door way staring in horror at the angelic woman, who hadn't moved an inch from the last time I was in this very room. I caught sight of Dr. Yang who had set her sights on me. I nodded as she quickly weaved her way towards me.

"I'm glad you're hear." Her eyes filled with a fondness when they fell on the unconscious redhead. "She needs someone hear that believes in her. She can do this. I can tell she's fighting to stay, I'm just not sure she knows that she has a reason to." Standing in silence I let her words sink in. "Go talk to her. I'll be back to check on her in a little while." I muttered a thank you before striding in and pulling a seat up next to her bed. I searched her face for something, for anything really. Wishing she'd open those brilliant blue eyes.

"Hey Chloe, it's Skylar. I just want you to know that I'm here. If you want to open your eyes that's okay. If not that's okay also. I'm just going to sit here for a little while." I paused for a moment remembering that she was like this because of me. "I hope that's okay." I added softly. I pulled out a journal and began reading the lyrics silently, sleep assaulting my eyes. My medication was constantly making me drowsy. I set the journal down on the table next to the bed, taking Chloe's hand in mine. Humming "Titanium" as I let my eyes close and sleep shift over me.

 ** _"_ _I can't sing but thank you anyways." My face flushed red as the group was staring at me. "Besides don't you think that's kind of lame." The tall blonde stomped her foot in protest before her equally tall redheaded friend told her to calm down. She handed me a flyer and told me to at least think about it. All I could think about was how her smile was blinding and her eyes made my thoughts jumble up. "Uhh-sure." I nodded once before walking in the opposite direction, my mind already set on not doing it. I couldn't sing anyways and even if I could I wouldn't want to do it with that bitch of a blonde. Although I wouldn't mind spending time with the redhead._**

"I kind of had a feeling I'd find you here." The rumble of my brother's deep voice pulled me back to reality. I wiped the traces of drool off my face. "The good old doctor said you've been asleep for like 18h hours in that chair." He handed me a coffee, averting his eyes after registering the journal next to Chloe's bed. He set a vase of sunflowers down on the table and threw the wilting ones away. "Stop staring at me, I just don't think someone should wake up in a hospital to an empty depressing room." He shrugged the bag off his shoulder and took two objects wrapped in paper towels out. "Here, eat this." I took it, hand trembling slightly and ate the sandwich slowly. I could feel his eyes on my face as I started at Chloe. "She's going to wake up Sky." I grimaced at my name, remember the day I decided to go by Skylar instead of Beca. I thought Beca was a lame name so I just started refusing to respond to it.

"I know, she has to." I stood up too quickly my body protesting in all the wrong ways. "I'm going to stretch my legs. I'll be right back." Before I had time to turn towards the door Jared threw some clean clothes at me. I walked down the hall to the bathroom and changed. When I came out I heard the faint sound of someone crying, following it down the hall I looked into a window. Where a young woman was on her knees next to a bed, the doctors hanging their heads. Obviously the man lying motionless in the hospital bed hadn't pulled through. I ran as fast as I could back to Chloe, relief flooding me when I saw she was still alive. "Will you grab my laptop from my apartment?" I yawned for the third time since I woke up. He nodded and I tossed him the keys. "Maybe my guitar also, if you don't mind?" He smiled and ducked into the hallway. "Come on Chloe, you can do this." I whispered before planting myself back in the chair. I picked up the journal again, humming the Avril Lavigne song once more. I glanced up at Chloe before turning the page. I cleared my throat twice nervously. _"_ _And today I made the decision to make a decision. Today you made the choice to make a choice. Today was the first day of tomorrow. And yesterday was the beginning of the past. I'm not sure what I believe in but I won't lie. Oh no. I won't lie. Today I'm alive. I'm alive. All I can think of is the color of blue. All I can think of is you. Only you."_ My head started spinning as I tried to remember what moment or feelings I was in when I wrote that entry.

"Did you write that? It was beautiful." The nurse asked as she came in to check on all of Chloe's stats. I blushed awkwardly. "Her heart is stronger today." She smiled knowingly, like there was some secret she knew that I didn't. "Whatever you're doing miss, keep it up." She patted my shoulder on her way out the door. My back was stiff so I stepped outside the room, wandering down the hallway again, doctors with familiar faces nodded at me with professional smiles as they passed. The hospital seemed to be filled with a hopeful energy today that I hadn't ever experienced before. The sun blinding my eyes as I stood silently on the curb, noticing a little bath in the brush to my right. Curiosity got the best of me as I felt my feet propel my body forward and I began trudging along the makeshift path down to a clearing. Taking in the small pond, I sat in wonder under a large tree and closed my eyes.


	3. You didn't leave

**_"_ _But Becaaaaa!" Her voice groaned into my shoulder when I plopped down on the blanket next to her. A soft giggle escaping my lips, brushing a long strand of red from her face I could feel the blood run to my cheeks. Undoubtedly causing my face to match the color of the beautiful woman's hair. "What?" Her eyes grew a little darker in the afternoon sun, searching my face for something. I just shook my head._**

 ** _"_ _You're so beautiful Chloe." My voice filled with shock and awe as I spilled this thought without hesitation. I bit my lip hard when I realized what I had just said. Chloe propped herself up on one elbow, leaning back slightly to get a better view of my face. Nervously I began biting the inside of my lip unsure of what to do or say as I watched the girl's expression change from casual to dangerous._**

 ** _"_ _Why is that Beca Mitchell?" Her voice was low and challenging. I felt like I couldn't breathe because of the growing lump in my throat. Instead of speaking I just settled on shaking my head. I turned back to watch the clouds, all the while I could still feel Chloe's sapphire gaze burning right through me. I was counting in my head to try and keep my breathing steady. Closing my eyes to try and focus better, I heard Chloe shift and snapped my eyes open just in time to see her throw her left leg across my body. "Answer my question Mitchell." Her voice was now a command and there was no trace of playfulness left in it. Her long hair falling in waterfall like curls over her shoulders, the sun hitting her already too blue eyes at an angle the made them impossibly blue. I opened my mouth to answer the woman who was straddling me but closed it quickly when I couldn't find my voice. "Do I make you nervous?" Her voice was barely audible as she bit her lip anxiously. My gaze stayed on her mouth for a moment longer than I knew was appropriate and then I nodded slowly. Afraid to make eye contact again. She leaned down with her hands planted on the ground on either side of my face. I forced my eyes not to stray down to the older woman's chest. Her face just mere inches from mine. "What about now?" Now her eyes were locked on my lips as I began to squirm. Yes, I thought Chloe Beale was hot enough to be a goddess and yes I wanted her in ways that didn't exactly fall under the 'just friends' category. I never said that though, I also tried extremely hard to respect her because if there was one thing I couldn't live without it was Chloe Beale. I didn't need people; I don't need anyone. Beca Mitchell is a lone wolf, it's always been that way and I'm not about to let that change now. Chloe Beale was impossible though, even if I didn't need anyone around I_ _want_ _Chloe here. I want to kiss Chloe and I want to be with her in ways I could never confess. I locked eyes with her and even though I didn't say any of this out loud I knew she could feel it and see it in the way I looked at her in that moment. Her lips crashed against mine in a mix of passion and aggression. I grabbed a handful of her hair as she pressed on my hip with one of her overly warm hands. In that moment I knew I was screwed but I didn't care._**

 ** _"_ _Shit." Escaped my lips as I realized the gravity of the situation when I pulled away reluctantly for air. But all common sense was out the window as I fell into Chloe's grasp on that blanket in the afternoon sun. Chloe Beale had crossed a line that could never be uncrossed and I had no idea what that meant at that very moment but I was sure I would find out._**

"Mitchell?" I heard a familiar voice before blinking as my eyes focused on the tall lean blonde standing in front of me. When my eyes focused I knew the girl standing in front of me from somewhere but I wasn't sure where. Frustration flowed through me as I thought back to the dream I was having and I wasn't appreciative of the rude interruption. I cocked my head to one side when I tried to remember where I had seen her from. "Oh umm, I'm Aubrey. Aubrey Posen." She paused expectantly before adding, "We went to school together at Barden. I'm Chloe's best friend. Jesse texted me." She shifted awkwardly, staring in awe as I sat in silence.

"I thought you looked familiar, I'm sorry." My head was spinning, I felt like I knew her on a deeper level than just going to school together. It was the same feeling I got when Chloe walked in on me back in the loft. "My head is a little hazy right now." I admitted sadly. I noticed the look of sadness in the older girl's eyes as she looked at me, observing all the details about my appearance.

"When was the last time you got some real rest?" Aubrey's voice was worried as I inhaled deeply. I shook my head when I thought about it, not really knowing when the last time I got real sleep. "Well come on, let's get some food in you." She extended her hand and helped me to my feet after I took it reluctantly. We walked in silence back to the parking lot. She reached for her keys and I stopped in my tracks.

"Do you mind if we walk?" I asked as anxiety flooded my body, cars were beginning to make me uncomfortable. She nodded knowingly and fell in step next to me. "How is Jesse?" I asked breaking the silence after a few minutes. I shoved my hands in my pockets after she was silent for a moment.

"He's doing well. Worried about you." I dared a glance at Aubrey, realizing now how exhausted she looked. "I'm staying with him at his place for now. It's too weird being at Chloe's without her." She sat on a bench and looked at me. "Do you mind?" I sat down next to her as a picture of her and Chloe laughing next to each other in a dinner popped in my head. I noticed Aubrey staring across the street at a building when the realization that the dinner in my head was the one across the street hit me. An uneasy feeling settled over me as I struggled to figure out where that image had come from. "You know, when I met Chloe freshman year. I wasn't the same person I am today. She helped me work though a lot of anger and anxiety." She was digging through her purse for a moment before removing her wallet and taking a picture out. She stared at it for a moment before handing it to me. "That was the second semester of our freshman year." I smile twisted on her lips as she was obviously taking a walk down memory lane in her mind. "We had just got back from regionals with the Barden Bella's. The weekend was a nightmare. Our captains were the biggest bitches I've ever met." She sighed as I stared at the picture of the redhead kissing Aubrey on the cheek. Such a happy moment in time. "Chloe had this way of calming me down when I felt like I couldn't breathe." A small laugh escaped her lips as I passed the picture back. "She always made people feel safe, like they belong."

"I know the feeling." Tears stinging my eyes as I thought back to talking to Chloe outside at my brother's. "She's so confident and relaxing." Aubrey smiled and nodded. Mumbling about needing to eat as her eyes lingered on the dinner across the street. I took a chance on asking if she wanted to eat there before she responded that she wasn't sure it was a good idea because she had too many memories there. I stood up quickly, "I know this place. I go there a lot when I need a quiet place to escape." She followed me down a couple of streets before turning and opening the door to a dinner and allowing the blonde to step inside. She was right behind me as I sat at a table in the corner by the window. "Coffee?" I asked as she read over the menu. She nodded before the waitress walked over. "We need some coffee please," I glanced up to notice the waitress staring down at me.

"Can I get you anything else beautiful?" The brunette winked at me. Aubrey cleared her throat clearly not impressed while giving the waitress a death glare. The waitress blushed before rushing off to the kitchen.

"What was that?" The blonde asked flatly. I shrugged as I heard her mutter something about Chloe hating when women did that under hear breath. "Everything looks so good. I don't know what to order."

"Let me order for you." Watching the waitress return with our coffees. "Thank you, is Lenny working?" I questioned the girl without making eye contact.

"Yes he is." She responded professionally, probably afraid to anger Aubrey. I got a feeling that was a normal response to the blonde. Although I felt not so characteristically comfortable in her empowering presence.

"Let him know that Skylar is here. We need two of his specials." I smiled politely as she nodded and walked away. Aubrey raising and eyebrow at my order. "I told you I come here a lot." I stated calmly. She nodded again, falling into a comfortable silence while we sipped coffee and I relaxed for the first time in days. I cleared my throat not sure what to say to the not so strange stranger across from me. "Have you seen… her?" I couldn't bring myself to say Chloe's name out loud as overwhelming guilt flushed through my being. She set her cup down on the table staring into its contents for a moment.

"Yes, I went in and sat with her for a long while before a doctor told me she saw you walk down to the pond. I think her name was Yang or something?" I smiled knowing that there wasn't anything that happened at the hospital that she didn't know about. "She looked so peaceful." Aubrey offered sweetly, trying to ease the pain written in my eyes. "I talked to her for a little while also." Sadness found its way into her eyes now as I sat there and listened. "Can I ask you something?" Her voice dropped so low it was almost a whisper. Hesitantly I nodded at the older woman once again registering how tired she looked. "What happened?" Instinctively I stiffened, pulling on the frayed edges of the table cloth. I avoided eye contact before preparing to answer. Afraid of the judgement I was sure the redhead's best friend would pass.

"I met Chloe at my brother's party." I debating on whether I should explain how but decided it would be wise to leave that part out. "I'm not really sure who she came with or why she was there but we had a few drinks and we hung out for a few hours." I swallowed hard, trying to rid myself of the lump growing in my throat. "I had just gotten in a fight with Jesse and ended things." I gulped down some coffee before continuing. "Chloe was just so inviting; she was so interested in me." I paused again. "We had a few drinks, like I said. I-I probably had a lot more to drink than she had but I was so caught up in her vibe. One thing led to another and we were making out. Pretty intense." I averted my eyes from the blonde's face. She sat patiently as I fought back tears of guilt again. "Jesse walked in and told her to leave." This time I made eye contact, surprised by the understanding expression that was returned to me. "She ran out and I went after her, only difference was she was smart enough not to drive. I was scared and I felt horrible. I swear I didn't mean to." The headlights flashed through my head and the image of red hair went through my mind causing me to visibly cringe. "I was speeding around the corner when headlights suddenly appeared in front of me. I swerved trying to avoid a collision." My voice cracked before I added, "I didn't even see her. When I did it was too late. I tried to yank the wheel and I clipped her before smashing into a tree." Silence fell heavily over us before Aubrey reached out and took my head. Squeezing it gently.

"It's okay. I don't blame you." Her voice broke and she squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to compose herself. "I know she doesn't either." She opened her eyes slowly as she stated that sternly. I nodded quickly, afraid of what she'd do or say if I tried to argue with her. Our food arrived and we ate slowly in silence. I still couldn't shake the feeling that I knew this woman sitting across from me on a deeper level than what she had provided. I grabbed the check and we walked back to the hospital exchanging ideas on music and traveling. "Maybe you should go talk to her for a while?" Aubrey said softly standing in the doorway, watching the redhead intently. By the time I turned to say something to the older woman she had slipped off into the traffic of the hospital hallway.

"Chloe, I feel like an idiot for talking to you because I don't know if you can hear me but I had this dream." I chuckled quietly while rolling my eyes at how stupid it was to tell her this. "You pinned me down and kissed me on a blanket in some meadow." I was spinning the ring on my thumb before dropping my head back on the chair. "It felt so real Chloe, like it had happened before. Damn, though I was so nervous. Butterflies and all that weird stuff. I'm Skylar Mitchell, I don't get shy around anyone." I stared at her face for a couple seconds before deciding to lay carefully next to her, which I hadn't done before. I placed an arm over her stomach lightly and propped my head up with an elbow. Pressing my lips into her hair I whispered, "Chloe, I swear that I've known you for years. There's this connection I just can't let it go, it's driving me insane." I shifted consciously afraid that I was causing her pain in some kind of way.

"Beca, please don't go." Chloe whispered. My body stiffened not fully being able to grasp that after weeks of silence Chloe had finally spoken. "I'm cold." She muttered as her eyes slowly fluttered open, blinking from the lights. She moved her head slightly towards me, shock written all over my face. "Beca, please don't go." She pleaded this time. I scooted closer on the bed, twisting my arm back around her waist trying to avoid the wires and tubes coming from her body. Tears filling her eyes before I had regained the ability to speak again.

"I won't Chloe. I won't. I'm right here I promise." My voice cracked as a million words filled my head but I couldn't utter anything else to come out of my mouth. I just stared wide eyed at the angel laying in front of me.

"You never left, you stayed the whole time." She whispered as her beautiful blue eyes slowly closed again. She pressed her face into my neck and inhaled deeply before a coughing fit took over. The same nurse that comment on my poem walked in to see what the coughing was all about, a huge smile twisting up on her mouth as she saw Chloe blink at the sound of footsteps. "Beca." Chloe's voice was timid and she sounded vulnerable as I glanced down at her. I grabbed her hand a squeezed lightly to reassure her.

"Welcome back Ms. Beale." The nurse walked over and pushed long strands of red hair from Chloe's face before checking the machines and taking some notes on the papers in her charts. "I'm going to go get Dr. Yang and tell her the good news." She paused in the doorway. "I knew it'd be you." She added while making eye contact with me. She turned and practically skipped out the door. I could hear her voice excitedly talking to the doctor just down the hall before the small woman appeared in the doorway. She raised her eyebrow at the sight of me next to Chloe on the bed. "Ms. Mitchell, I'm glad you're still here." I blushed and slid off the bed. Chloe looked a little panicked as I stood there awkwardly.

"Hey, it's okay Beale." I smiled reassuringly still holding onto her hand. "I'm going to go make a phone call, I promise I'll be right back okay?" Chloe nodded weakly in response and closed her eyes as the doctor tested some of her nerve and reflex functions. I walked down the white hallway to the parking lot before pulling the napkin with a phone number out of my pocket and dialing the digits on my screen. I held my breath as the dial tone started.

"Beca? Are you okay? Is Chloe okay? What's going on?" The blonde that seemed so confident in the café now sounded frail and broken. I let out the air I had been holding in my lungs as she continued to fire off question after question in the mere moments it took me to compose myself. My throat was dry as my chest tightened.

"She's awake Aubrey." The older woman was silent on the other end of the line. "She woke up. She's going to be okay." My voice was raspy as my knees began to shake and I collapsed to the ground. I reached up as the wind stung my face to realize that tears were falling in a river down my cheeks. "She's going to be okay." I let my voice trail off at the end of my sentence.

"I'll be right there." She said breathlessly. I stayed on the sidewalk ignoring all the sideways looks I was getting as strangers walked by. A weight had been lifted off my shoulders as I texted my sisters and told them the news. Sliding my phone back in my pocket I retraced my steps down the hallway back to Chloe's room, using the wall to steady my weak body. I turned into the room where Chloe was stationed and was stricken by an overwhelming feeling of horror when I saw that her eyes were closed again. I tripped in an attempt to run back to her bed.

"Chloe!" I tried to shout but it came out as a whisper. She cracked one eye open and faintly smiled as she saw me start crying.

"I'm still awake." Her voice sounded exhausted. I pulled the chair closer to the bed, still crying. She turned her pale face towards me, sliding her hand across the empty space on her bed. "Beca Mitchell, are you crying right now?" Another smile smirk twisting on her face. I wiped the tears away quickly with the back of my hand before clearing my throat and shaking my head.

"N-no. I-I don't cry." I stuttered in an attempt to defend my ego. She giggled slightly before coughing again. I grabbed her hand and kissed it softly. "I'm just glad you're okay Chloe." I pondered for a moment on what to say but settled for an innocent question. "Can I lay with you?" She nodded softly before slowly pulling back the thin blankets. I pulled out my phone and texted my sister asking her to stop by my apartment and grab the blankets I had stashed in my closet, I set my phone down on the table next to me with the headphones and the keys that were also in my pocket. I climbed into the bed next to Chloe and silently tucked her in. Placing my arm behind her head, she rolled onto her side with a sharp breath of pain and rested her head on my chest. Absent mindedly I played with her hair and closed my eyes.

"You're right Beca, you do know me better than your memories say you do. I know you can remember if you just let yourself. It's okay though, you didn't leave me. You promised not to leave me even when you weren't sure if I would wake up. So I promise I'll wait as long as I have to for your heart to wake up. I won't leave." I could hear Chloe whispering softly as sleep tugged me away, I desperately wanted to ask her what she meant but I was too far into the heavy grips of sleep to open my mouth. Maybe what she said was a part of a dream and I had just imagined it.

The pressure of something on my face jumped me awake, my breath catching in the deepest parts of my lungs before I blinked my eyes into focus to see Chloe's concerned face. "Hey are you okay?" Her hand warmer than it had been in weeks, I stared in disbelief. Realizing she was waiting for a response I nodded, pressing her hand into my face harder with my own cold hand. She eyed me suspiciously but left well enough alone. "Doc says I've got some physical therapy and a lot of follow up appointments to do but I should be okay to go home in a couple more days." Her eyes sparkled at the thought of getting out of this place. "Sleep in a real bed, in my own space and shower in my own apartment! I'm so excited." She smiled widely but the moment passed when she looked back at me. "Are you going to disappear now?" Her face solemn and her voice flat with disappointment. "Now that you don't have to feel guilty about me dying or something?" I didn't respond but just stared forward at the ceiling, still feeling waves of guilt rushing over me as I remembered that night. "Seriously Beca? You're just going to shut me out again? After everything we've been through this is what you're going to do?" Her voice cracked as tears fell from her soft baby blues. "I know you do this to protect yourself but you're killing me." I flinched at the brutality behind her words. I slid off the bed and put my shoes back on, standing in a slump and avoiding eye contact as she just stared with anger flaring in her eyes. Taking note at the fact that they looked ice blue when she was upset.

"I'm sorry Chloe, I just… I-I can't." I tried to vacate the lump in my throat after I spoke but it was to no prevail. She laughed harshly and I looked up just in time to lock eyes with her.

"Just run away Beca Mitchell. Just like last time. Just get the hell out of here. If you don't want to stay I won't force you to." My jaw dropped and my bones began to ache as I stood there completely mortified. "Go!" She shouted after a long moment. I walked out the door but as I turned I heard her shaking voice softly plead. "Please don't leave me." My heart began to break as I took off in a sprint down the hall, suddenly feeling as if all of the walls were about to collapse on me. My head got that familiar fuzzy feeling and all I could think about was the bar that just opened for the day three blocks up the street. I stopped running when I hit the edge of the parking lot. Walking and trying to compose myself before strutting into the bar and plopping down on a barstool.

"Can I get two shots of whiskey and a beer?" I mumbled staring down at the bar. The bar tender did as I asked when she returned I handed her my card. "Keep the tab open, please?" I threw back both shots before she returned. Sliding both glasses back towards her, motioning for two more.

"Hun it's not even noon yet. Shouldn't you be taking it easy?" She asked with genuine concern in her voice. I looked up for the first time blinking back tears as my hand shook picking up my beer.

"If you knew what the last month of my life had been like, you'd just hand me a bottle." I admitted with a hint of disappointment in my voice. She gave me a once over and looked around the bar quickly.

"Tell me about it, yeah?" She looked sweet but I wasn't even sure where to begin or why I even felt the need to talk about it especially to a stranger. As these thoughts crossed my mind I took another drink and fiddled with the label on my beer as I set it down.

"I-I don't know where to start." I admitted with embarrassment.

"From the beginning. I'm all ears hun." She smiled reassuringly standing there tall and straight, brown hair pulled back in a messy bun.

"A month ago, I met this girl." I paused to take a drink and heard the bartender chuckle softly. My heart ached when I realized she probably thought this was a typical break up story. "I met her at a party, the events led to me getting smashed. Us fooling around a bit and me fucking it up. I tried to follow her so I could fix it. I was drunk and didn't see the oncoming car speeding around the corner and when I tried to swerve it and avoid a collision I hit her as she was walking down the side of the road." I glanced at her waiting for judgment when I found none I continued. "She was in a coma for a month and woke up yesterday."

"That's good though right?" She asked while drying some glasses and stacking them in her respected places.

"She needed me and I ran out. Just now. She asked me if I was going to leave and I just stared at her and watched her break down into tears. I stood there and she told me to run away just like I always did." I bit my lip in confusion, letting her words sink in. "I met her at the party, I don't know what she means when she says always. But I do know that the more I'm around her the more I feel like there's something missing. Something in my head. Like some memories or something have been locked away and I can't let them out. I feel like I know her like really know her. Like I've known her for years. I keep having these weird dreams about her and I." I looked up when I felt her eyes on my face and I could feel the heat rush to my face when I began to blush. She smiled knowingly. "They feel like memories and not like dreams. Then there's her best friend Aubrey. She's scary as hell. But I feel like there's- or was a connection between her and I. Like we had been great friends once upon a time. I'm comfortable around her." Now the bartender was pouring four shots. She pushed two of them toward me.

"This one is to you marching back to that hospital room and being there to clean up whatever mess you caused. Not only by helping her physically get better but to mend her heart." I hesitated before clinking the glass against her own and shot the liquid back. Welcoming the familiar burn. "This one," she smiled broadly before raising the second glass. "To following your heart and quieting your mind. Whatever answers you're looking for hun, they're already inside of your heart. You just have to find a way to hear them." We shot those drinks back quickly and she poured me another one before walking away to get a gentleman at the other end of the bar a drink. "Can I ask her name?" She asked returning to cleaning glasses in front of me.

"Chloe." I smiled sadly thinking of the beautiful young woman lying in the hospital just up the road from me. "What's your name?" I asked curiosly, overwhelmed by a sudden sense of déjà vu.

"I'm Stacie." She said confidently, her eyes full of sadness as her mind wandered somewhere in a far off place for a moment. "Don't worry about your tab. Here's one more shot then you need to get back to that girl, okay?" I began to protest about the bill but she just hushed me and gave me a look that made me laugh. I waved her off and took the shot before heading back to the hospital. I marched right into Chloe's room, ignoring the look of frustration on her face when she saw me.

"Chloe Beale. I don't know who the hell you are." I was trying to remain assertive but my heart melted as I watched her laying there silently, waiting. I clinched my fists as I fumbled in my head for the words to accurately explain the battle going on in my mind about this overwhelming sense of connection to this near stranger. "I don't want to go. I don't know who you are, where you came from or any of that. But I feel like I've stood before you many times. I feel like I've seen all different places beside and I've loved the same people you have. I feel like I loved you. I feel like I've known you for years and I've kissed you in beautiful medows. I feel like I've- I don't know. I'm so confused. I feel like there's this black box in my head. Like something important is locked away in there but I can't remember what it is. Looking in your eyes is driving me freaking insane because it makes my head race like I'm grasping into a dark room for something but I can't see what it is." Tears were streaming down my face. I finally made eye contact and realized she was sitting there, understanding every messy word that tumbled from my mouth.

"Beca, it's okay, Please, don't cry." Her eyes softened and I dropped my head in defeat. "Beca Mitchell you listen to me. You understand? Whatever is going on inside your tiny head? It's okay. Just please don't leave me." I stumbled over to the chair next to her bed. "Are you drunk?" She snapped as I slumped down in the chair and nodded. "Seriously Beca, did you drive?" Her voice filling with panic. I shook my head violently. A sigh of relief escaped Chloe's thin lips.

"Drinking and driving is what got us here in the first place Chloe." My voice was weak as the tears fell harder. I slipped off the chair onto my knees. "I'm so sorry for hurting you Chloe. I didn't mean to do this to you! You didn't deserve it and I-" Chloe cut me off.

"You didn't leave. You kept your promise. So stop and listen for two seconds. I'm angry that you are drunk right now but the rest of it? Stop blaming yourself. I knew better." My head snapped up at the end of her sentence.

"You knew better? How was this your fault?" I was thoroughly confused at this point. Chloe lifted my chin with her finger.

"I need to tell you something." Sadness filled her deep blue eyes.

"I'm so glad you're okay Chloe." Megan said rushing through the door with Alex hot on her heels. Chloe's eyes narrowed and she dropped her hand onto the bed. "We brought snacks." Megan smiled, eyeing Chloe which looked to me like a warning. I shot a look back and forth between Megan and Chloe for a moment before settling back onto the chair. "We brought blankets earlier but you were both asleep so we just left. I figured y'all needed rest after all of this and I wasn't sure when the last time Beca had gotten any sleep was." She added thoughtfully. Alex's phone rang and she smiled apologetically as she stepped out into the hallway to take the call. I shifted awkwardly from the unsettling vibes I was getting between my sister and the redhead. "By the way Skylar, I put the key under the mat." I nodded thinking about how stupid it was to hide my spare there but I had been doing it forever so I just let the thought pass without much fret. Alex summoned Megan into the hall after a long moment.

"What did you want to tell me?" I asked hopefully as soon as she had stepped all the way out of the room.

"Nevermind." Chloe sounded disappointed but quickly composed herself back to a happier mood and added, "I'm just glad you came back." She rubbed the back of my forearm lightly before staring at the ceiling. I could hear Megan and Alex arguing in hushed voices in the hallway.

"Dad called the judge Megan! The same one as last ime." Alex spat at her younger sister.

"Okay, well what's the problem? He let her off last time." Megan had always been the more composed logical of the two and situtions like these reminded me why our family hadn't fallen apart years ago when mom died and dad buried himself in his work. Megan had been the rock.

"He isn't giving her jail time." The silence between the two was disturbingly still as I strained to hear what they were saying. "She has to do community service though and a lot of it."

"That's not so bad considering what she could have been charged with." Megan added cheerfully.

"Her community service is helping Chloe with rehab and taking her to all of her appointments until the doctor clears her with a clean bill of health." Alex stated with panic creeping into her voice.

"Oh." Megan choked out. Another long moment of silence happened before they entered the room again. "We're going to head home for a few hours and shower and stuff. Do you need anything?" Her gaze was fixed on me and I responded with something about being okay and asking them to drive safely. Alex stopped in the door way and smiled sadly as she looked back at Chloe.

"I truly am glad that you're okay." A look of sympathy was passed between the two of them, I noticed that it didn't just come from Alex but Chloe returned it. The silence seemed to be a mute agreement of mutual understanding and Alex turned and disappeared into the busy hallway.

* * *

"You ready to go home?" I questioned trying to contain the smile on my face. Aubrey had taken shift while I slept at my brother's. Spending a good portion of my time being grilled with ridiculous questions by my sisters. Jared just shrugging his shoulders and throwing his hands up as I shot him a pleading look. Aubrey informed me that she was going to go get some food with Jesse and handed me a bag with some clothes for Chloe and ducked out the door quickly. I stood staring after her with a look of confusion written on my face. I turned back to Chloe with a questioning look on my face.

"I don't know but if she's not smothering me with physical therapy and her overwhelming need to protect me from everything then I am won't complain for even a fraction of a second." The sound of her laugh filled the room and made my heart feel light.

"Touché, good point." I agreed quickly remember just how intimidating the tall blonde could be as a memory of a moment from a week ago passed through my mind. The older woman nearly ripped my head off for letting Chloe walk herself from the bed to the door without hovering over her. "Here, I think these are clean clothes for you to wear home." I handed the bag to Chloe and turned to step into the hallway to give her some privacy.

"Wait! Ummm I still can't raise my arms too high. My ribs still hurt pretty bad. Would you mind helping me with my shirt?" Chloe spoke softly. "If you're uncomfortable I can totes as a nurse to help."

"No no, do you need help with anything else?" I asked cautiously. She blushed and locked eyes with me nervously. I closed the door so she could change and then walked slowly towards the taller woman. I stopped when I saw her standing with her back to me, hooking the back of her bra. She turned around slowly, deliberately stepping closer. I stood as still as I could, holding my breath with her lips just inches from mine. Her eyes dropped to my lips and hesitated for a moment before they darted back to my eyes. She pressed her hands against my stomach, dropping her pants and shirt to the ground. My eyes fell to her lips, she began to lean in when my heart started racing and I pulled away. Her eyes darker than I had ever seen them followed my movements as I bent down to pick up the loose clothing. "Here," I motioned to her legs and she slowly lifted one at a time before I pulled them all the way up. Kneeling down I buttoned them and pulled the zipper up. My eyes caught sight of an elegant tattoo across Chloe's collarbone that I hadn't noticed before. I read it out loud, "I believe in you." My face turned red as I raised my wrist up so I could read the writing.

"I believe in what you did for me." Chloe read the words that my eyes were focused on. I connected my eyes with her eyes as I tried to chalk it up to some crazy accident. A memory flashing through my mind. A tall redhead with a heart winning smile sitting in the tattoo chair to my right. She was grinning like a fool and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I focused my eyes back on Chloe, reaching out and touching her tattoo.

"You were there at the tattoo shop when I was getting my wrist done. It was a week before graduation." Chloe nodded patiently waiting. "You wouldn't stop smiling at me. Why didn't I remember that before?" Confusion struck me hard as I struggled with the idea of not remembering this when I saw the girl at the party or any of the other hundreds of times I'd sat staring at her in the last month. "I don't get it." I mumbled under my breath. I shook my head as if it would clear the thoughts out and carefully placed the shirt over Chloe's head and continued to help her put her shoes on. "I'm going to go get the doctor and see if we can get your release paperwork started. I'm sure you're eager to get out of here. Plus, I could use some real food and I'm sure you're sick of hospital mush." She kissed my lips ever so softly and held my gaze for a moment. Something felt so right about that moment. I couldn't help but smile and nodded in approval. Chloe grimaced as she took a few steps forward, pushing me away as I reached out to help. "Chloe." My voice pleaded pathetically. The glare she gave me, let me know that I wasn't welcome in her efforts to prove that she was fine without me. I sighed heavily as the realization of the road ahead now seemed crystal clear that it would be a long and frustrating one.


	4. Crossed Boundaries

**_"_** ** _I'm sorry did I say something that offended you?" The redhead furrowed her brow as she stood in front of me and the other women in the room. I looked around almost wishing I was invisible as every pair of eyes in the auditorium was now locked on me. "If I did it's okay, just say so Beca. I didn't mean to upset you." Anger was growing in the pit of my stomach as I tried to blink back the tears in my eyes and couldn't form any type of words. Chloe scanned the group before she stepped away from the white board. "Guys how about we take a quick breather?" Her voice echoed and the girls all broke out of formation and wandered off towards their bags. Chloe walked over slowly and rested her hand on my hip, still frozen I tried to blink so my vision wasn't blurry anymore. Stepping away from Chloe, my body began to shake and anger flared through me from inside my veins. All I could think about was how frustrated I am with life at this point. I wasn't where I had planned on being at this time in my life, if you had asked me just a year ago I would have without a doubt told you I'd rather be in L.A. putting in my dues and working my way up the ladder in the music industry. Now though, I wouldn't trade being a Bella or helping lead these girls for the world. I thought about my family and how close I was with my siblings, I thought about my job at the radio station and my life outside the Bellas. It wasn't close to what I thought it would be and I was filled with pride when I thought about the group of talented young women I had grown so close with and I just didn't understand why my dad couldn't support that. He hadn't been to a single show since I started this journey my freshman year. He didn't even go to the ICCAs and I was the only one now that two years in a row didn't have a parent supporting me out in the crowd. All four of my siblings had been to all the major shows along with my best friend from high school, which may have just had to do with the fact that she was dating my oldest brother Buba. But even my other siblings brought their significate others. Still my dad hadn't even tried and with regionals coming up we had been working harder than ever to make our set perfect, it was killing me that my dad couldn't acknowledge that this was important enough to go to at least one show. "Beca, don't shut me out." Chloe whispered, snapping me back to reality. I shook the thoughts from my head and tried to force a smile onto my face. She raised an eye brow, signaling that it was a failed attempt._**

 ** _"_** ** _I'm sorry Chlo. I'm just so proud of how hard we are all working and it hurts that my dad hasn't come to a single show in two years. I'm a junior this year and he's missed every important milestone in my college career. He hasn't been to a single parent luncheon for the Bella house things. He hasn't been to a single competition. We've won ICCAs two years in a row and he missed both of them. He's the one who wanted me to have the whole college experience and join some clubs to make friends. Now that I've made a second family out of you nerds and I'm proud to be at Barden he won't even give me a day of his time. It just sucks." Chloe listened to me intently just nodding sympathetically when I finished. I watched her face expectantly before exhaling deeply. She grabbed my hand and squeezed softly._**

 ** _"_** ** _You'll always have me." Her voice was loving and she flashed her famous Chloe Beale smile. I couldn't help but smile a little at the older girl._**

 ** _"_** ** _Don't ever leave me." The words sounded pathetic as they left my mouth but it was Chloe, she had wiggled her way passed my walls and I wasn't sure I could go back to a life without the space invading red head._**

 ** _"_** ** _Beca Skylar Mitchell, I need you more than you could ever even fathom." I searched deep in her eyes and the only thing I could find was honest and pure truth. "I'm not going anywhere."_**

"Beca?" The voice behind me pulled me from the lulls of sleep. I rubbed my eyes awake before turning around to see Chloe standing in the doorway to her bedroom. The light from a couple candles dancing on her face playfully. Her facial expression was twisted with hints of worry and compassion, her eyes looked defeated. "Are you okay?" She slowly walked over and sat next to me on her oversized couch. I cocked my head slightly at the question.

"Of course Chloe." Confusion evident in my voice as it echoed off the silent walls. "Why wouldn't I be?" Curiosity got the best of me as the question slipped passed my lips. I wasn't really sure I wanted to know, I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand where beads of sweat had been formed. She watched as I let my hand fall back in my lap.

"I heard something from the living room and got up to check it out. You were talking in your sleep, I know it's probably weird or something but I stood there and I was listening and whatever you were dreaming about sounded kind of intense and sad." Her eyes had grown sharper as she confessed her thoughts. "Beca, you asked me not to leave you." I blushed awkwardly hoping it was too dark in the room for Chloe to see. I sat in silence, my hands shaking violently now. I could feel my stomach twisting in angry knots and the room started to spin. "Beca, what's wrong?" Her eyes wide as she took in my face.

"I just don't feel very good all of a sudden. I'm okay though." I lifted my hand to rest it on the older woman's knee but thought twice and just dropped it to my side. Chloe stared at me thoughtfully for a moment. She quickly shook her head and stood up, wincing at the sudden movement. She reached out and took both my hands, tugging me to my feet. "What are you doing?" I asked without protesting as she pulled me towards her room.

"I know you're set on sleeping on the couch, I know you want to respect me. Honestly I don't even need you to stay here. I'm beyond positive I can maneuver around my apartment without you or Aubrey babysitting me but I like that you are here." She paused as we stood next to her bed, I blinked rapidly trying to make my eyes adjust to the even darker room. "It's not in the community service paperwork for you to stay here Beca." She stated quietly.

"I know." We stood in silence for a brief moment as those two simple words hung in the air, holding far more meaning in them than I thought she could realize. The color her eyes changed to made me think that maybe she did understand though.

"When was the last time you drank?" She asked casually. My first instinct was to lie because that's all I've done when people asked about my drinking for the last two years.

"Last night. We had appointments today." The truth slipped out, I rolled my eyes when I realized that lying to Chloe Beale wasn't an option. "It was only two shots and maybe a couple beers though." Chloe nodded slowly, thankful for the truth.

"You're starting withdrawals Beca. Lay down, tonight is going to be a rough one." Chloe's voice was demanding. I began to protest and started babbling that I could just sleep on the couch. Noticing that the sweating had gotten worse and I was now shaking even worse. My stomach lurched as a wave a nausea settled over me. "You've been taking care of me for a week, longer than that if you include all the time you stayed with me at the hospital. Just let me take care of you tonight, okay?" I tried to step away but had to reach out for Chloe's are to steady myself, the room spinning again. I let her pull me to the bed, helping me lay down and pulling the blankets all the way up. She shuffled out of the room, still in pain from the internal damages that had been done and when she came back she had more pillows. She pulled the blankets back down and rolled me over so I was facing the other side of the bed. Gently she lifted my right leg and placed a pillow between my knees, yanking the blankets back up she left her room again this time returning with more blankets, a couple bottles of water and a now empty kitchen trash can. She put the water on her side of the bed, the garbage can behind me and laid out all four of the blankets on top of her bed. She climbed into bed on the side I was facing and handed me a bottle of water. "Don't chug it just take a couple drinks. You're going to sweat out pretty much any water your body is holding. Which I think it's safe to assume isn't much since you only drink liquor and beer." I nodded too weak to argue with her. I sighed heavily as I passed back the bottle and snuggled into the warm bed. Sweat causing my clothes to stick to my body. Chloe pushed a few strands of hair from my wet forehead. I closed my eyes praying for sleep to overcome me so I could escape this miserable feeling. "Beca, are you awake?" I felt a cold hand on my drenched stomach. Chloe asked after what felt like an eternity of silence. I hummed in response, afraid to speak. "Let's get you into something other than jeans, tomorrow we'll go to your apartment and pack some clothes to bring over okay?" I groaned in agreement. She got up and fumbled around in the dark. "Cover your eyes Becs." I did as I was told just in time for a light to flick on. I peeked out from under the corner of the pillow and watched as Chloe rummaged through her draws, pulling everything from the front out to find a pair of old basketball shorts. I blinked and took a mental note that those look like my favorite pair from back in college. She walked to the closet and pulled a black t-shirt with the words "Barden Bellas" printed on the back. "Come here, let me help you." I sat up slowly, lifting my hands above my head so she could peel the soaked shirt off for me. She did so carefully, leaving me sitting there in a sports bra, gazing into her beautiful eyes. She swallowed hard as I pushed the blankets back and sat on the edge of the bed. I fumbled with the button on my skinny jeans but my hands weren't communicating correctly with my brain. "Here." She said helpfully as she pushed my hands out of the way. She pulled my pants off, avoiding eye contact. She replaced them with the shorts, which fit just right. "Are you sure you want the shirt? It's okay if you don't. I don't mind at all." I shook my head and laid back down. Chloe stood frozen for a moment.

"I'll be right back." I said suddenly springing up, cursing myself mentally at the rush of momentum. Chloe began to follow my steps but I waved her off. I stumbled into the bathroom, tears falling down my face at how quickly my body was falling me. I splashed cold water on my face and stared at my broken expression in the mirror. When I opened the door Chloe was standing face to face with me. "Jesus Chloe!" I squeak in fear, embarrassed by how girly it sounded coming out of my body.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay, let's go back to bed." I leaned into her, exhausted from any kind of effort I was exerting. I climbed in and she pulled the blankets up once again, sliding in on her own side of the bed. She passed the water to me and when she replaced it on the nightstand she flicked off the light. I could feel my heart pounding and I couldn't stop shaking no matter how hard I focused on controlling the tremors. Chloe reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling it across her body while looping her arm under my neck and wrapping it around my shoulders. I sank into her warm body, which made me shiver and realize how cold I was. "Oh Beca," her voice cracked. "You're burning up." I tried to hold back the tears as my muscles ached but I couldn't help but let them fall.

"Chlo, I'm so cold." I responded. She sat up and pulled her own shirt off then laid back in her spot. Pulling me back in and yanking the blankets up again. Her skin burned against mine but I was thankful that the woman was a space heater and I pushed into her body as close as I could get. Her heart beating steadily in my ear as I tried to find the comfort of sleep. "You sang in college?" My voice was fragile in the darkness of the room. Chloe hummed in response. "Tell me about it?" I asked softly.

"What do you want to know?" Chloe laughed at the how small my voice made me sound.

"Everything, what did you do? How did you save the program? Did you love it? Do you miss it?" My voice trailed off as I thought about the fact that I haven't written any new material in a while.

"I was in the Barden Bella a cappella group. 7 years actually." She laughed at her confession. "I intentionally failed Russian lit a couple times so I could stay with the group. Do you know how much you have to know about a class to fail it on purpose that many times?" I giggled a little as I waited for her to continue. "Anyways, it's the biggest passion I've ever had in life. I was the co-captain and choreographer. I miss it every single day. I miss the hours of dancing and singing. I miss my aca-family. I miss my co-captain. I miss the rush of performing and the retreats and I miss the Bellas' house." She sighed softly and I glanced up at her, her eyes locked on the ceiling.

"Hey Chloe?"

"Yeah Beca?" She responded quickly.

"Will you sing something for me?" I asked innocently, not really expecting her to sing. She laid quietly for a moment debating on what to do. I froze as the words of Just a Dream filled the dark apartment. Her voice bringing a feeling I didn't know how to label to my chest. For the first time in months I drifted to sleep with a feeling other than anger in my chest.

"Beca, are you awake?" Her voice sounded softly as I lay on the verge of awareness. I was so comfortable at the edge of sleep that I couldn't respond. "You know; I've dreamt about this moment for two years. The moment I finally had you back in my arms. I've missed you so much. I wasn't sure if I could do it anymore. I moved to L.A. and took that choreographer position that I was so excited about after graduation. It just wasn't the same waking up in an empty apartment without you. I couldn't focus on my job and I just wasn't happy, all I could think about was you back here and how I just wanted to be with you. I was broken when you saw me at the party and didn't recognize me. I'm not really sure what I expected though. I know the memories are in there, I can see them flash through your eyes sometimes. I can hear you dreaming them at night. I just have to let you figure it out yourself. I don't want to see you struggling and hurting because of the gaps in your memories or the confusion of what all these feelings and memories are. I made a promise though and Chloe Beale doesn't ever break promises. Even if I don't agree with them anymore. It's not my decision to make, the damage and all that isn't mine to fix when the truth comes out. Just know I need you more than you'll ever be able to understand and I promise I'm not leaving."

 ** _"_** ** _Hey what's up?" I answered my cell while sitting on the edge of my bed. The voice on the other end of the phone was frantic and hysterical. "Whoa, Chloe calm down. Tell me what happened?" I listened as Chloe rambled on about some jerk that she was dating. Although I had just met Chloe a few months ago and she practically forced me to audition for the Bellas by bursting into my shower. We had become fast friends just like the red head and said we would and I carried about her. "He did what?!" I practically shouted as she confessed that she walked in on Tom cheating on her with a girl from the High Notes. My commotion earned a life threatening glare form Kimmy Jin. "Chloe where are you?" She mumbled something about sitting in the empty pool where the riff off had taken place. "Don't move, I'm coming to you." She agreed and I hung up, shoving my combat boots on and snagging my jacket off my desk chair. I practically sprinted across campus, ducking and weaving the trees as I ran down the short cut to the pool. I stopped in my tracks as the sad figure of the redhead slumped on the edge of the empty pool, swigging straight out of a vodka bottle came into sight. I slowly approached her from behind only drawing her attention by snapping a twig under my foot._**

 ** _"_** ** _Hey Beca." Her eyes were heavy and blood shot from crying. I sat down and sat awkwardly in silence. I wasn't good at comforting people and I had never seen Chloe cry before. Except the time she told us she had nodes. I reached out and patted her shoulder, biting my lip and cursing myself at my horrible social skills. She looked at me with fresh tears in her eyes. When she saw my horrified expression and awkward posture she burst out laughing. "You suck at this."_**

 ** _"_** ** _I know." I sighed before staring down at my feet dangling from the edge. "So, tell me what to do. I want to learn how to help you." She eyed me suspiciously. "I don't want to be a people person Beale. I just want to be a decent friend to you since you're always there for everyone else." I paused lost in thought for a split second. "You save everyone. Who saves you?" I looked at her smiling in an attempt to reassure her. Panic flared through me as fresh tears fell from Chloe's eyes._**

 ** _"_** ** _Get drunk with me." She said thrusting the bottle at me._**

 ** _"_** ** _Chloe it's 11 in the morning!" I practically squealed, her eyes narrowed at my response._**

 ** _"_** ** _Fine, just let me drown my sorrows alone then." She shifted a little to put more distance between us. She stared straight ahead as I kept my eyes locked on her, she tried to sneak a peek at me without me noticing but when she saw me staring in awe she laughed and offered the bottle again. I took it reluctantly and took a drink. The burn in my throat causing me to cough. I glared at Chloe as she laughed hysterically. "You know, I didn't even like Tom all that much." She admitted after a few long minutes of silence and choking down vodka in the sun. "I met someone a few months back, Tom and I have kind of just been going through the motions. It was just nice to have him around for when things got lonely I guess." Her eyes glazed over as she got lost in thought. "I just expected him to respect me enough to break things off if he found someone else. It's disrespectful and it makes me feel like shit honestly. Am I like some ugly horrible person?" I lost track of my words as I fumbled with the idea of Chloe Beale's confidence being broken._**

 ** _"_** ** _Shut up you, weirdo. You're like the most gorgeous human being to ever exist Chloe. Not to mention the sweetest." I smiled at the girl as she moved closer and leaned her head on my shoulder. I watched as our feet dangled over the lip of the pool. "Who is the person you are interested in?" Disappointment flushed through me as I thought about my own emotions, sure that this person's name wasn't Beca Mitchell._**

 ** _"_** ** _Lips are locked. It's a secret until I scope the situation out a little more." I rolled my eyes as the sun warmed my back and we fell back into a content silence._**

"Beca do you want to stay here?" Chloe asked worried as I sluggishly made my way to the front door. Sleep came and went throughout last night and I felt worse now than I had last night. I shook my head and opened the door, signaling that we were leaving.

"I want to go with you." I mumbled stubbornly, trying to ignore the nauseating headache. I helped Chloe down the steps slowly after arguing about whether we should walk or drive to the hospital. Chloe who was determined to get better as fast as possible decided that we were going to walk. Reluctantly I agreed, semi thankful because the enclosed space of the car would have totally made me feel worse.

"Go lay down." She demanded after checking in at the front desk. I found an empty couch and did as I was told. "Beca, I'll be back in a little bit okay? Get some rest. Here's some water." She handed me a water bottle causing me to roll my eyes. I glanced at my watch and stood up to get some fresh air. Before I knew it I had walked to the little bar from a couple weeks back. I glanced down the bar after taking a seat on a stool to see that Stacie was working again.

"Hey stud." She said approaching me. "You look horrible." She said flatly. "Please don't tell me you fucked up with that Chloe girl." Her eyes told a story I knew she'd never say verbally.

"No, but can I have a shot and a beer?" She nodded reluctantly and served my order. I handed my card to her, "I won't be having a lot but keep it open for me." She swiped the card and hurried off to get someone else a drink before coming back. I rested my chin on the back of my crossed arms on the bar. Watching intently as she sliced limes. I listened carefully as she sang softly. "Wow, you have a beautiful voice." She smiled her eyes and laughed like something was ironic. "Can everyone beautiful woman in this town sing?" I laughed. I ordered a couple more shots and a beer. Feeling increasingly better with each drink.

"Pretty much. At least the hottest of all of us can." She eyed me with a funny look. We kept talking about Barden and all the singing groups, exchanging some of our favorite artists. I glanced at the clock and took a mental note that it had been an hour and I should leave in a couple minutes to get Chloe. "You sing?" I shook my head. "Come on just a few lines. Give me something, anything." She practically begged. I thought for a moment and sat up as the words from Timber floated into the bar. Stacie joined in and we sang a few lines together. I smiled at how great our voices were together. She just nodded completely content when we finished up.

"Wow." I felt a rush of excitement as I sat there for a minute.

"That sounded great!" A familiar voice rang with pride from behind me. I turned to see Chloe standing there. "Hey, I got out early today. I thought I'd find you here." She frowned at the empty glasses in front of me and then looked at the bartender. "Oh-m-aca-god! Stacie!" The redhead beamed excitedly. "I didn't know you were still in town." Stacie came out from behind the bar and engulfed Chloe in a bear hug. "I thought your voice sounded familiar!" She smiled back and forth at Stacie and I. I was thoroughly confused at this point.

"Chloe was the captain of the Bellas when I was in college." Stacie answered my unspoken question without hesitation. "How are you? How have you been? She paused actually, I already know." She shot an apologetic glance at me. "You want a drink? On the house." She flashed a seductive smile. Chloe looked at me contemplating.

"Yeah, sure why not." She sat next to me. Her posture perfect and her face a little red from the therapy she just endured. "You know what I like." Stacie nodded thinking back and hurried off to make some type of cocktail. "You okay?" Chloe leaned towards me to whisper. I stared at her longingly, pushing back the thoughts of kissing her.

"Yeah, how was therapy?" I questioned with real concern. She explained that she was healing faster than expected and that he was impressed. Stacie returned and Chloe practically bounced out of her seat when she glanced down at the glass.

"Are you married?!" She almost shouted as a slow smile spread across Stacie's face. Her eyes connecting with something behind us. "To who?" Chloe asked not even attempting to contain her excitement.

"This lovely being." Stacie stated before stepping out from behind the bar again. Our eyes trailed after her. A shorter black woman with short hair walked over and hugged her.

"Cynthia Rose?!" Chloe's jaw dropped. Cynthia swept Chloe up in a spinning hug.

"Careful babe. Remember." Stacie practically yelled in horror at her wife.

"Shit. Aca-scuse me. I'm sorry Chlo." Cynthia apologized as she set the fragile redhead back on her stool. I leaned over towards Chloe to ask if Cynthia was another Bella. Chloe nodded, happiness radiating off her skin. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts that made no sense to me. "Beca effin Mitchell? Is that you?" My eyes widened as the excited woman turned her focus on me. Stacie cleared her throat and shot her a warning look. "Oh." She dropped her gaze to floor before recovering quickly by thrusting her hand out to shake mine. "I'm Cynthia Rose, Stacie's wife. She told me a little about you from the last time you came in. I apologize if that was a little aca-awkward." I shook her hand firmly, feeling a sense of respect for the woman even though I wasn't sure why. We chatted casually for a bit over a few drinks before Chloe mentioned that we had plans to tend to. I followed her out of the bar after making farewells.

"We have plans?" I questioned after we were out of hearing range of the others. She smiled a devious smile.

"Yeah, we have dinner plans with Jesse and Aubrey." The excitement in her voice kept me from protesting as I followed her the few blocks to my apartment. "You need to look semi nice."

"Do I have to wear a dress?" I groaned with disappointment.

"No, but if you wanted to wear a nice button down shirt with a vest and some cute pants that would work." Her eyes lit up and I couldn't contain my smile as I unlocked my door. She slowly walked around the apartment and looked everything over. Her eyes falling on the giant stack of journals I had yet to finish reading. She followed me into my room but I didn't notice her until after I stripped my shirt off. Her eyes lingered on my bare skin for a moment before she realized I was staring at her. I had a little more courage with the alcohol in my system, I strolled over to the redhead confidently and grabbed her waist. Stopping my lips mere inches from her I locked eyes with her baby blues. Looking for a sign to stop, there wasn't any trace of hesitation in her blue pools. I pushed her roughly into the wall as her hands twisted into my brown locks. I smashed my lips against hers, reaching down to hitch her long leg over my hip bone. She pulled back placing her lips on my neck, her hands sliding up my abdomen to my chest. I let go of her leg knowing it was firmly in place and pinned her small wrists above her head on the wall. Pushing her cheek away with my own so I could gain access to her pulse point. "Holy fuck." Chloe groaned. She gained some sense of strength and pushed me back, pushing me again aggressively in the chest causing me to fall back on my bed. Her eyes had grown almost black with desire as she climbed on top of me. Causing me to lose sight of boundaries and consequences.


	5. Meet the Mitchells

"Beca?" Chloe's voice snapped me away from my computer screen. She rested her hands on my bare shoulders, picking up the beer that was sitting next to me and taking a swig.

"I'm sorry if I woke up Chlo, I just got inspired and I haven't made any mixes since the accident." I cringed at the thought of that night and turned to Chloe with concern written on my face. "I didn't hurt you did I?" She laughed as she ran her hands over the scratches on the back of my shoulders.

"Not in a way that I didn't like." I blushed at the comment and stood up to face her, trying to figure out what she was thinking. "We have to be at the doctor's in a couple hours, I can lie and sign the paper saying you took me if you want to stay and work on your music." I shook my head debating on what to say.

"I like you." I blurted out, blinking at my outburst. Chloe stood there in shock and smiled slyly.

"Well considering what we did before and after dinner I sure hope so." I just stood there, still in shock at my confession. "I like you Beca Mitchell." Chloe added in reassurance, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. "I'm going to shower, if that's okay?" I nodded and followed her to the bathroom, getting a towel down for her. I blushed as she started the water and stripped off her undergarments. I stood in awe at the naked woman in front of me. She stepped into the shower, winked and pulled the curtain closed behind her. I walked back slowly to the open laptop but couldn't focus on my mix when I heard the words of titanium spilling out of the open bathroom door. I shuffled back to the doorway and listened for a moment before hesitantly taking my own clothing off. When I cautiously stepped into the shower I was greeted with a smiling Chloe Beale. "About time, I wasn't sure you would ever join me." An image of a younger Chloe bursting into a dorm shower filled my mind. Chloe traded me places, before covering my body in soap. "What are you thinking about?" She asked as she rubbed my arm in suds.

"Chloe, I think there's something wrong with me." She froze for a moment before continuing, signaling for me to go on. "I keep having these dreams of- you." I added. "And sometimes of other girls." She looked at me with a look of amusement. "Not like that!" I laughed softly. "Sometimes it's a group of us on a bus or practicing a dance routine. Other times it's just you and I." I explained the pool dream. She stood there just staring.

"That's interesting." She said flatly after a few moments.

"I don't know its really confusing and I don't understand." My voice trailed off.

"Maybe you should write your dreams down from now on?" She said thoughtfully. I nodded at the idea and leaned into her embrace. "I'm going to go get ready, wash your hair." She said teasingly. She stepped out of the shower, I stood under the hot water for a few minutes before washing my hair a couple times trying to prolong getting out of the warmth into the cold air. When I stepped out I could hear Chloe whispering in the living room. "No Jared you don't get it. I need to tell her. She's starting to have these dreams." Her voice cut off for a moment. "Okay fine. But I think we should seriously consider talking to her. It's starting to freak her out." She got silent again, I looked around the corner. "Okay, okay. What if she reads her journals? Whatever. I get it. Just think about it." I ducked back into my bedroom as she hung up the phone and stared at it for a moment.

"My journals?" I asked myself out loud as I dressed myself. Chloe walked in and replaced the angry look on her face with a bright smile. "Everything okay?" I asked suspiciously.

"Yeah, just talking to the doctor. Had to reschedule. What do you want to do today?" She responded quickly. Sitting down at my vanity to do her makeup, I sat next to her preparing to do the same.

"How about we go see my siblings?" I smiled widely, thinking that I hadn't seen them at all since Chloe was released from the hospital. Chloe shifted uncomfortable next to me, I glanced at her in the mirror.

"Okay." She agreed reluctantly. We finished putting on our faces in silence and then prepared to leave. I stopped at my dresser, opening the drawer and removing a key from under my socks. I turned to Chloe while staring at the small object in my hand. "What's that Becs?" Chloe asked with curiosity written on her face.

"I want you to have a key to my apartment." I offered quietly, trying to show Chloe I care. Knowing I wouldn't be able to verbalize it well and that she would understand what the sentiment meant. She took the key, her eyes widening in excitement.

"Are you sure?" She finally asked after staring at it in silence for a moment. I nodded, trying to hide the smile on my face. She threw her arms around me. "Does this make us a thing?" Chloe asked with humor in her voice.

"Actually, I was kind of hoped that it would make us official?" My voice was low and extremely serious. Chloe stood there frozen in shock.

"Beca Skylar Mitchell, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?" Her voice raced and octave halfway through her sentence.

"Chloe Beale, will you be my girlfriend?" I asked, locking her beautiful blue eyes in an intense gaze. She kissed me passionately before nodding happily. "Wow, Beca Mitchell in a committed relationship." I paused and laughed. "Time to break the news to the fam." Chloe swallowed hard as she nervously laughed. "Ready?" I asked offering my hand, she intertwined her fingers in mine, squeezing playfully.

"Ready." She said confidently as I towed her towards the door. She closed the front door and locked it with her new key. Smiling as she turned around and replaced her hand in mine. We walked down to the car, I opened the door for my girlfriend and closed it smiling at the thought. "Can we put the top down?" She asked as she placed a pair of sunglasses over her eyes. I reached up and pushed the button before pulling onto the road and driving with the music up. Content with the sound of Chloe's voice mixing in with the lyrics of the songs playing through the speakers. We pulled into the driveway and Chloe turned the music down, sitting in silence for a moment before turning to face me. "I'm nervous Beca." I shook my head, remembering the awkwardness between her and my older sisters.

"Please don't be. It's all going to be okay. They're going to absolutely love you. Because I do." Chloe stiffened as the words registered in her head. I quickly got out of the car, trying to ignore the outburst of the thought I didn't mean to say aloud. I ran around the car to get her door and took her hand in mine as we walked up the path towards the door. I could feel Chloe's prying eyes on me all the way to the front door. I opened it with my free hand, tugging Chloe past the threshold with my other hand. We walked into the kitchen, her grip getting tighter as I could feel her anxiety building. "Anyone home?" I called out into the house.

"Skylar is that you?" I heard Megan call back from out back. We walked towards the porch and stepped outside. "Hey baby sis. Where have you been?" Megan asked before taking in the site of Chloe's hand in mine. Chloe dropped our hold when Megan made eye contact with her. "Chloe, you look great!" Megan exclaimed before hugging us both. I looked over to see Alex glaring at Chloe, I chanced a glance at my girlfriend and saw her shrink into herself a little bit. I laughed a little taking the moment as the perfect moment to make the announcement.

"I've been taking care of my girlfriend." I smirked and took Chloe's hand back into mine. Alex stood up, her jaw dropping.

"Well, Chloe Beale. Congrats. You've made a committed woman out of my sister." Jared shouted from the yard, where he and Alex's boyfriend Ryan were kicking a soccer ball around. Chloe smiled brightly relaxing at the support in Jared's voice. Megan hugged Chloe again.

"Welcome to the family then Chloe." She said as her shoulders relaxed. We all settled into small talk about their work and moving in with Jared for a while.

"Yeah, I figured I've got like four empty bedrooms and the loft. The house gets too quiet since you moved out." He added quietly. "Well I think we should go out and do something! It's such a beautiful day." Jared turned towards Chloe. "Knowing my sister she's probably kept you cooped up inside for the last few weeks. She's kind of boring like that."

"Hey now!" I shout back playfully.

"He's kind of right." Chloe teased softly leaning in so I could put my arm around her shoulder. I could feel Alex glaring at me. "How do you feel about hiking?" She got a few excited responses from the group and a groan from me. "Beca Mitchell don't be a lazy butthead." She retorted.

"Fine." I said flatly.

"Yes! A Mitchell family outing." Jared shouted practically falling out of his chair. "Gives us an excuse to take the jeeps out." He added excitedly. This got some excited comments from our sisters.

"Jeeps?" Chloe raised an eye brow.

"After all the Mitchell kids graduated, our dad bought each of us a jeep." Alex explained before kissing Ryan on the cheek. Brad walked up passing out drinks.

"I purpose a toast." He said firmly. We all took a cup in hand. "This is the first outing we've had as a family." He paused. "In a long time." A seriousness fell over our siblings as we all thought of Bube. "To a great day, being part of the Mitchell family and making memories." We raised our cups in agreement and all cheered.

"And to the members who couldn't be with us today." Alex added softly. We all nodded and took a drink. "Enough seriousness, let's have some fun." Alex smiled, looking over at Chloe. When Chloe returned her gaze Alex smiled a little wider. "I'm glad you're here Chloe. Welcome to the family." Chloe's jaw dropped before she flashed a signature Chloe Beale grin and nodded in agreement.

"I'm happy that I have the chance to be a part of something as beautiful as this family." Chloe stated with content in her eyes.

"Anything you need, we've got you." Jared said placing a hand gently on her shoulder. Any awkwardness between Chloe and my siblings had dissipated.

"Hey, why don't we invite Aubrey and Jesse? They were just over here the other day, I'm sure they'd love to go." Ryan chipped in. Looking towards me for approval, I nodded slowly. Thinking back to the tenseness between us at dinner the other night. I pushed the thought out of my mind when I realized I actually missed the nerd and knowing it would make Chloe happy to have her control freak of a best friend with us. "I'll call him!" Ryan stepped into the house to get his phone.

"Should we tell Aubrey the news?" Chloe asked quietly when no one else was listening. I told her that it was up to her and affirmed that I was totally okay with it. She watched as Megan and Alex went into the house to pack some supplies. "I'm going to see if they need any help." She explained as she stood up. I just watched her hips sway as she walked off.

"Sky? Seriously, congrats." Jared said causing me to almost jump out of my skin. "I can see how happy she makes you." I nodded, knowing I didn't need to say anything. Jared had a knack for being able to read my mind. "She always has." He added softly, I looked at him with confusion. He tugged at a loose piece of fabric on the patio furniture. He looked around to make sure we were alone and then his expression grew solemn. "I need to tell you something." He said awaiting a response.

"Beca?" Chloe called from the kitchen. I looked back at him expectantly.

"Later sis." He smiled and I stood slowly to find my girlfriend. I walked into the kitchen, blinking to adjust my eyes to the lighting. I wrapped my arms around the redhead as she chopped some vegetables on the counter, she leaned into my body. A sweet smile twisting on her lips.

"Alex needs your help in the shop." She stated, pointing the knife towards the front of the house. I kissed her cheek and jogged out the shop where the jeeps were parked.

"What's up?" I asked approaching the blonde who had just dropped a couple backpacks in a pile.

"I just need help taking the tops off these things, I don't know why dad insisted on hard tops. We don't take these things out unless it's nice out." I laughed at the hint of frustration in her voice but did as asked. We removed the first one and set it aside in silence. "So, Chloe Beale huh?" She finally broke the comfortable silence. Alex had a tendency to cut straight to the point. I nodded knowing she had more to say. "Well although the situation isn't ideal. With the accident and all." She stopped and looked at me, my stomach knotting assuming I was about to get a lecture. I prepared to defend my new found relationship but waited for her to finish. "I don't think you could have found a more loving and sweet girl." She paused again sighing. "Mom would be proud of you Beca." I froze at the use of my name. Alex hadn't called me that in two years. Tears stung my eyes at the praise. "She really makes you happy?" She asked finally giving me time to respond. I thought back to memories of growing up with Alex and how she used to be the person I confided all my secrets to. That all ended when mom died, Alex had changed. Mom's death had broken Alex in a way that I wasn't sure any of us would ever really understand.

"She really does." I wiped the tears out of my eyes. "I've been so angry for so long. I always felt alone." I saw hurt flash through my sister's eyes with my last statement. "No, I know you and our siblings have always and will always be here. But when mom died, I got angry that she would leave us like that. I know she didn't decide to get sick but still." My sister nodded, showing that she was listening intently. "Then dad- checked out." I inhaled sharply as a fresh wave of pain shot through my heart. "He wasn't there for anything. Buba moved out while we were still in high school. So you and Megan had to raise Jared and I. Which wasn't fair at all. You didn't get to enjoy high school like you should of. He wasn't there for any of our proms, he came back for you and Megan to graduate but never made it to mine. He wasn't there for Jared or I to graduate. I just don't understand. And then Buba…" I trailed off, swallowing the lump in my throat. "When Buba killed himself I shut off completely. I get that mom didn't have a choice. Dad just couldn't handle it. But why did he leave me? Leave us." I finished.

"First off, I love you. You're my world. All of ours." She paused thoughtfully. "Dad told me once that you reminded him of mom when she was your age. He said you're the spiting imagine at it breaks his heart. I'm not making excuses. He's been a fucked up father especially to you and Jared. I want you to know, growing up? I never minded. I didn't mind the fact that I had to raise the two of you. Megan and I take pride in the fact actually. We still enjoyed high school and cheerleading. We are proud of the woman you have become and we support you no matter what." Tears filled Alex's eyes and I made a mental note to try and reconnect on a deeper level with her. "I want you to know that it may not seem like it but I do like Chloe." She added hesitantly, I took the compliment without pushing it and finished helping my sister in silence.

"Hey! Need any help?" I heard Jesse's voice from behind me and couldn't help but smile as I spun around.

"Hey dork! Of course you show up after all the hard work is over." He grinned that cheesy grin of his before hugging me. Knowing that any tension between us had passed. Looking over his shoulder I saw Aubrey standing kind of awkwardly in the doorway. "Aubrey, Chloe is in the kitchen." She smiled with gratitude and hurried off towards the house. Jesse chatted excitedly as we loaded the backpacks up in the jeeps. I turned around just in time to get smashed by Aubrey in a giant hug. We stumbled backwards as I tried to use her body to stabilize myself.

"I'm so aca-freaking happy right now!" She shouted into my ear. "Chloe just told me the news!" She pulled away, practically jumping up and down. I couldn't help but stare at this version of Aubrey, anytime I had seen her she had been spin so tight I thought she'd explode. Jesse looked back and forth between us in confusion.

"What news?" He asked loudly.

"Chloe and Skylar are official." Alex shouted happily from the other side of the jeep. I smiled at the sound of her voice.

"Congrats!" Jesse added to the happy atmosphere.

"Thanks dude." I smiled lazily.

"Where's Chloe at? I need to give her a celebration hug!" He said before running towards the house. Aubrey hot on his heels. The guys came out to finish preparing the jeeps for our trip. After about twenty minutes I excused myself to head into the house. Stopping in the doorway as I heard a conversation from the kitchen. "You haven't told her yet?" Jesse asked with surprise clear in his deep voice.

"No, they asked me not to. I will though. When the time is right." Chloe whispered. "I just don't want to lose her Jesse." She added, her voice hinting traces of fear. I slammed the door as a signal to my entrance. Chloe lazily glanced up from the coolers she was packing and her eyes lit up when she saw me. "Hey Becs. We're just about done." Her smile erased the previous moments from my mind. "Beer or no beer?" She looked at me for an answer. I raised an eyebrow and her laughter filled the house. "Yes beer. I don't even know why I asked." She turned to Jesse who nodded and walked to the fridge in the garage, returning with two cases of beer.

"Should I grab more?" He asked laughing. Turning around to get more without waiting for an answer.

"Everyone ready?" Megan shouted from the front door. I grabbed the two cases from the counter and set them outside the front door the boys to load up. I returned in time to take the giant cooler from Chloe's arms.

"I got it Chlo. You're still supposed to be taking it easy." After a moment of thought I turned around to face her. A serious expression plastered on my face. "Are you sure you're up for hiking?" She laughed.

"Beca Mitchell, I'm not made of glass. I won't break. I got hit by a car for aca-sake." Guilt flooded my chest as I stared at her like a deer in headlights. "Beca, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you. I just-" I shook my head.

"It's okay Chloe, it was just a joke." I said understanding she didn't mean any harm by it. She walked over and kissed my cheek.

"I'm sorry. It's not funny." She placed her soft hand over where her lips had just been, I pressed my cheek into her hand and sighed. "Let's go." She smiled softly. I followed her out the door, lugging the heavy ice chest to the jeeps that were now parked in a line outside. I smiled when I saw a large group of people outside. The Mitchell's always traveled in a giant crew. I blinked in surprise when I saw Cynthia and Stacie in the back seat of our jeep. Chloe noticed my gaze and softly spoke. "I hope you don't mind; I just really miss them." I smiled and set the chest down so I could hug her.

"I'm glad you want me around your friends Chloe. Of course I don't mind. But who are they?" I asked taking in the site of a large blonde who was holding hands with a brown haired man.

"That's Fat Amy and her fiancé Bumper." Chloe grinned as I raised an eyebrow.

"You call her Fat Amy? To her face?" I questioned her logic.

"She calls herself Fat Amy." Chloe offered without explanation.

"Why?"

"So twig bitches like us don't call her it behind her back." Aubrey and Chloe said in unison before laughing at the same time. I looked between the two in confusion before realizing they were sharing an old memory.

"That's exactly what she said when Aubrey asked her why she called herself Fat Amy the first time we met her at Barden." I nodded slowly piecing it together.

"Another Bella?" I asked causing the two to fall into a giggling fit before confirming my question. "Is she Australian?!" I asked when I heard Amy speak. The girls just laughed again. "What did I say?" I shouted as they walked away.

Megan and Alex pulled Chloe to the side, I walked passed catching a piece of their conversation on my way by. "Are you sure you want to tell her?" Megan asked.

"Yeah, I mean obviously not on the hike." Alex whispered. "Chloe, are you sure? I'm not sure what's going to happen."

"I love her. I don't feel right lying to her. The girls miss her and it's hard on them not being able to be around Beca. I want Beca to at least know the family she had for four years. I think she's ready." Chloe responded quietly.

"Jared told us about the dreams. I agree with Chloe." Alex added.

"You do?" Chloe asked completely surprised with the blonde's support. I approached the growing group noticing a girl sitting shotgun in Jared's jeep.

"Who's that?" I asked elbowing my brother before passing the heavy ice chest to him.

"You're not the only one who is good with the laides Sky. That's my girl Amber. She brought Allison and Kelsie with her. Hope that's okay." I smiled at his sarcasm. I smiled knowing that the addition of our old friend Allison and her girlfriend would make for a great time.

"I love you bro." He nodded slightly with a giant grin on his face.

"Everyone load up! We're heading out." Megan shouted as she climbed in the driver seat of the leading jeep, Brad climbed in next to her. I caught a glimpse of Brad's brother and a little Asian girl settle in the back seat. In the jeep behind them Ryan waited for two girls to climb in then got in the driver side with Alex next to him. Jared helped Allison and Kelsie in before climbing in and starting the jeep, looking over and grinning at his girlfriend when she slammed the door behind her. I laughed looking at Aubrey in her ugly pink jeep, wrestling with Jesse who was flailing in the passenger seat for control of the radio. Fat Amy shouting some profanities as Bumper mumbled something.

"Ready?" Chloe asked slipping her hand in mine, watching me as I took the blissful moment in. I looked down at our hands and smiled. "Let's go." I followed the redhead to my jeep and climbed in, looking at the backseat when I heard Stacie humming.

"Hey guys!" I smiled widely excited for the chance to get to know the people Chloe cared so much about. I looked forward and saw Megan's head pop up above the vehicles.

"We're going to stop at 5 mile to fuel up and get any last minute things. Everyone ready?" She shouted getting hoots and hollers from the group. Laughter filled the air as the feeling of happiness settled over me. We pulled out on the road in a convoy, ready to take on the world. I glanced in the mirror to see Stacie look at Chloe and smile. I turned the radio down a little.

"So I've got a car full of Bellas," I paused feeling happiness radiate from all the passengers. "Where's the singing at?" Chloe scrolled through the songs on her phone and turned Party in the U.S.A. on. I looked at her like she was crazy as the three of them burst into song. The image of a bus full of girls singing the song filled my mind but I shook it away when I realized everyone's eyes were on me because I was singing so I chimed in and turned the radio up. Smiling all the while at the simplicity of the happy moment.


	6. Mitchell family confessions

We pulled off just before the tail turn off to get gas at 5 Mile. The drivers all hopping out to fuel up, I laughed quietly to myself seeing that we took up all but one pump. I turned to the girls that were still singing and asked if they wanted anything. "Oh! Doritos and a blue Gatorade." Chloe piped up.

"Ranch or nacho?" I questioned before getting a challenging look. "Ranch of course." I chuckled lightly before looking back to see Cynthia climbing out of the side of the jeep. I quickly fell in step behind her, sort of enthralled with the idea of getting to talk to her alone for a moment. "Hey Cynthia," She shot her gaze to me when she heard the sound of her name. "I just wanted to say that I really appreciate what Stacie did for me at the bar. I kind of owe her one."

"Naw shorty. She looks out for important people." Cynthia said with a wide grin on her face.

"Important people?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah, she's got this intuition on people. She knows when a great person walks into our bar. She kind of makes it her life goal to look out for the underdog. Plus, you're important to Chloe and Aubrey gave all the Bellas a phone call about the accident. Told us to keep an eye out for you." We had stopped walking at this point and I shifted all my weight awkwardly at the mention of the accident. "Just so you know, none of us blame you for what happened that night. We don't blame you for anything actually. I think you feel the same as we do. We are all just thankful that Red is okay. Don't beat yourself up alright?" I nodded in appreciation to the woman who seemed to have a huge heart, I now understood why her and Stacie made such an amazing couple. I followed her down the isles as she grabbed the red bag of Doritos, gummy worms and a red Gatorade. "Grab Red the sour skittles, it'll get you mad points." I laughed and did as told, grabbing the other items on my list. Making sure to get a can of grizzly wintergreen at the counter before heading out to fuel up. I tossed the bag into Chloe's lap and watched her eyes light up when she saw the skittles. Cynthia gave me a wink before stepping onto the back wheel and climbing into her respected place next to her no hysterically laughing wife.

"I see what you did there." Stacie whispered to her wife while nudging her in the ribs. I raised an eyebrow at the exchange but they both waved me off. My phone vibrated in my pocket, I furrowed my brow while struggling to dig it out. I answered it without looking at the screen.

"Hello?" My voice even.

"Hey Becky! Long time no talk." I smiled at the accented man on the other line and the use of my old nickname. "So, I have a proposition I want to pitch to you." He paused waiting for a response.

"Go on, I'm listening."

"We just fired that twit Mark. You know that twerp event coordinator dude we had." Luke's voice was comical as he didn't even try to hide the sound of distain in his tone.

"About damn time, we've been trying for the last two years." I laughed halfheartedly.

"Yeah that's what I was saying, anyways we need to replace him and I know you have a degree in music business. So I threw the idea to the rest of the guys and we all agree you are qualified. What do you say?" His voice cool and smooth like always but I could hear a smile.

"What are you serious? What about my booth time?" I was shocked that I was even consider for the position.

"You can still do your show if you want but we really need someone to plan that big festival that we are doing in a few months and I really think you can handle it. What do you say?" He asked again, my mouth was hanging wide open.

"Yes! Of course!" I practically shouted into the phone.

"Awesome, I'll email you all the stuff you should go over. Maybe you can clean up the mess he's made." His laugh was deep and sincere. I mumbled some things about appreciating the opportunity and smiled before hanging up. I replaced the gas nozzle and climbed into the jeep.

"Who was that Becs?" Chloe asked with a mouth full of Doritos. Eyes locked on the contents of the bag.

"Luke from the station." I smiled broadly and turned to face the other bodies in the vehicle. "I'm the new event coordinator." Chloe practically squealed in excitement, almost dropping the bag of chips as she flung her arms around my neck. I welcomed the embrace as happiness washed over me. I got the job, the girl and amazing new friends. What more was there to ask for? "So, how would you nerds feel about having the Bellas perform a couple of songs at the festival in a few months? Like a reunion show maybe?" I watched as the famous Chloe Beale smile crept onto my girlfriend's face. Glancing back to gauge the other girls' reactions. Cynthia Rose was pumping her fist and Stacie was clutching her chest like she was having a heart attack. Chloe unhooked her belt and stood in one fluid motion.

"Aubrey, Lilly, Jessica, Ashley and Amy!" Chloe's voice sang as if she were doing roll call. I looked around in shock as the women stood in silence. "Bellas unite! We're doing a show in a few months!" The girls all cheered in unison. "I'll start working on the choreography!"

"I'll write out a set list for the songs!" Aubrey chimed in. Amy rewarding her with a warning glare. "Don't worry Amy, I won't use the old songs." Aubrey's face was practically glowing. The whole group shouted excitedly as the girls sat back down.

"I haven't been this excited since I got in a wrestling match with a dingo when I was 13." Amy called out to the crowd. Earning a hysteric round of laughter. Chloe looked at me with sparkling eyes, leaning in to kiss my cheek softly.

"So can I safely assume that's a yes?" I playfully added. She nodded once as we pulled back onto the road and drove the long hour to the hiking trails. You could hear the girls singing down the line of vehicles and I thought to myself that there isn't anywhere I'd rather be. The jeeps all parked in a row on the side of the gravel back road and the group climbed out. Half of us throwing backpacks on, the rest grabbing coolers. We trudged over rocks and logs for about an hour before stopping in a giant clearing. The girls all chatting happily in a group as the guys started a fire and unpacked the booze. Handing beer and red solo cups out. I took a beer from Jared who was grinning uncontrollably at the blissful sight in front of us. "Well, two years ago I would never have expected to be this happy." I admitted quietly, appreciating my brother's humble company. He put and arm around my shoulder before pointing at Allison and laughing. "Allison, what are you doing?" I shouted watching the girl slowly scoot across a long branch hanging over the group, cup clenched tightly between her blinding white teeth. She glanced in my direction before sitting up and using her legs to hold her still. She untied a long thick rope from around her waist, replacing it around the large branch and tying some kind of complicated knot. Never spilling a drop from her cup. All of a sudden all of our attention was focused on a loud war cry and the sound of branches and brush cracking on the hill behind the tree.

"Move out the way bitches!" We heard Kelsie's voice scream before the sight of her in an oversized tire came crashing out of the trees. Rolling at a high speed right into the thick trunk of a tree on the other side of the parted group. "Ouch." She said tumbling sideways out of her mini monster truck sized tire. "Tire swing anyone?" She exclaimed brushing the dirt off her arms.

"That's my girl!" Allison yelled proudly.

"You guys are a crazier than a wild pack of dingos!" Amy added to the hilarious situation. Everyone was practically rolling on the ground because of the scene.

"Okay, wait." Allison called down. "On a serious note, how the hell do I get down?" She looked at us for help but no one offered a solution. "No guys, I'm not kidding." Her eyes grew wide as we all just watched with mischievous grins on our faces.

"Looks like you're stuck babe." Kelsie said as she pushed the tire towards the hanging rope. Allison eventually laid down and slowly turned to face the base of the tree, making her way back down the same way she came.

"Are they always this spontaneous?" Chloe's voice made me jump because I didn't hear her walk up next to me. I nodded in response and smiled before placing my hand in her warm hand and walking towards the group. We were sitting in a circle now, sharing travel stories and awkward family stories. Which more often than not left me blushing in embarrassment. "Beca you never told me about falling out the window at your high school graduation party!" I shot a glare at Megan for sharing the story and she just grinned back with that innocent Mitchell face that we all knew how to use. Chloe's eyes were sparking at the idea of hearing the story. "Come on Becs! I know we all want to hear it." Chloe pleaded bouncing up and down next to me. I shook my head trying to avoid telling the tale.

"No you really do want to hear it." Allison added dramatically. "I'll tell it!" She offered quickly turning to Chloe. "So Beca-err I mean Skylar." She made eye contact and I gave her a simple look that let her know it was okay to call me by my first name again. "So Beca, Jared and I all graduated at the same time." Chloe's expression after looking from me to Jared was confused. "Jared skipped a grade in middle school." She offered the explanation coolly. "Nerd." She shot off in his direction.

"No, I just had all the Mitchell notes and cheated my way into skipping a grade." His response earned a slap on the back of the head from Alex.

"Jared Russell!" She shouted as he just shrugged.

"Anyways, they lived in this giant house just up the road from me. We thought it'd be a good idea to throw one last hoorah before we all went off to college. Not knowing at the time that we had all gotten into Barden. That's beside the point though. So we send out a mass text. What a good 100 kids showed up that night?" Allison looked around for an agreeing expression. Getting an eye roll from Megan. "So Beca, Jared and I are pre-gaming before because it's our graduation and why the hell not? This tiny excuse for a human being decides she's going to take like seven shots in less than fifteen minutes."

"How is that even possible?" Jessica and Ashley ask at the same time. I just shrug waiting for my old friend to get to the good part.

"So the party arrives and Jared gets this brilliant idea to make a makeshift game out of riding a garbage can lid down the stairs. This one?" She said jabbing a thumb in my direction. "She decides she wants to steal the lid from me and takes off running down the hall. She gets a running start and by the time she jumped on the lid. Standing up I might add, she bounces over half the stair case and by the time she hits the floor and slides across it there was no stopping her. Head first into the open window, right through the screen." She stops because she's laughing too hard to talk. "The only thing you could see were her feet poking into the house." She loses it again and starts laughing hysterically, at this point the whole group including me had joined her.

"I had a black eye for a week because I smashed my face into the base of the bush in the flower bed." I added between laughs. Chloe was now clutching my arm as she bent over in a ridiculous giggle fit. I looked at my Alex who was exchanging a heartwarming expression with our only brown eyed sibling. Megan's eyes fell on Chloe and I, my heart skipped at how full of love they were. "Okay it's not THAT funny." I said after about a minute of being the only one not laughing.

"Do you remember that time we woke up to find Bube passed out in the front yard in only his pink and white heart boxers?" Jared pipped up and our siblings all chuckled. "Dad was so pissed because at that exact moment a bunch of people from the office showed up for a meeting." He recalled lightly.

"Or that time that Buba peed in the fish tank because he was so drunk?" Alex smiled as we all nodded.

"What about that time I had to drive down and get Allison from the golf course because she was drunk and hopped the fence because she wanted to drive the golf carts around?" Amber interjected.

"Thank god you did that. When my boss got there the next day he was so pissed but no one knew it was me so I didn't lose my job." Allison's arm snaked around Kelsie's waist.

"You worked at a golf course?" Kelsie asked amused.

"Beca and I both did. Those ugly green polos and horrible khaki golf shorts." Allison wrinkled her nose in disgust. Chloe looked at me and grinned. "Caddie shack baby!" Allison raised her red cup and I placed my beer in the air. We kept sharing stories and I felt peaceful for the first time in years. The sun was getting low in the sky as we packed up to head home.

"Why don't we continue this at our house?" Alex asked, most of the group agreeing.

"We have class early tomorrow so we're going to head out when we get back." Ashley spoke for both her and Jessica. Amy and Bumper both muttered some excuse that really told the group they wanted to go home and bang. Lilly and Mike had to get home because they had work. I yawned as we approached the squad of jeeps.

"You want me to drive?" Chloe while glancing at me sideways, her posture a little off. I mumbled something but I wasn't sure she heard me. "Can we swing by my apartment on the way?" I nodded. "Is that okay with you guys?" Stacie hummed in approval and snuggled into Cynthia's side. We drove with the sound of quiet humming and soft singing filling my ears. My eyes fluttered heavily as I drifted to sleep.

 ** _"_** ** _Beca I'm sorry." My brother's booming voice sounded behind me. I spun around, drunkenly stumbling a little. Tears assaulting my eyes. His own eyes looked tired and all I could think about is how he would be so much better off if he and Lindsey just left all of us behind like they had planned. "I'm not leaving you." His voice was always so soothing. "I'm not just going to bail like dad did." He slowly stepped closer. My thoughts brought back to why I was drinking on the roof of the old theater building in the first place. He reached out and placed a giant hand on my tiny shoulder. Maybe his hand wasn't as giant as it looks, maybe I was just extremely small. "Look, I know life has sucked since mom died but you can't keep pushing people away like this. Let me help you." Anger flailed though my body making me feel like I was vibrating. I shoved him as hard as I could in the chest but he didn't even sway. His large from engulfing me in a giant bear hug._**

 ** _"_** ** _Buba, everyone leaves me. Mom, dad, you and Lindsey. Even my girlfriend is leaving after graduation. Everyone leaves me. What's wrong with me?" My tears were falling in streams now as I looked up at my oldest sibling. "I don't want to do this anymore. It hurts too much." I sank to my knees and just melted into my brother's body. He rocked us, letting me vent like he always did. "How'd you know I was here?" I asked pulling away to get a better look at his features._**

 ** _"_** ** _This was your favorite place growing up Becs. You once said it was the only place you felt like mom was still with you." I sniffled at the mention of mom. "You always come up here." My siblings all knew me too well, I sighed feeling a little calmer now. "Come on Beca how about we go get a beer and talk about it?" He kissed the top of my head pulling me to my feet. I blushed a little realizing how catatonic I had just been and followed him to the car._**

I blinked the sleep from my eyes when I woke up in the parking lot of Chloe's apartments. Sadness shifting through me at the memory of my older brother. Chloe pressed a hand to my cheek and wiped a single tear away with her thumb. Her eyes full of compassion but she didn't say anything, not wanting to open old wounds in front of our friends. "I miss him." I whispered as she leaned in and kissed my forehead. I watched as she slid off the driver seat and ran to retrieve her coat and backpack. When she returned she rested her and lightly on my thigh and didn't say a word. Stacie placed a hand on my shoulder and flashed me a sad smile. I let my hand rest on top of the tall brunette's for a brief moment before placing it on Chloe's hand and fiddling with her thumb ring. We arrived at my brother's greeted by music blaring from the back yard and the distinct sound of laughter. I smiled pushing the memory to the back of my mind. "I'm going to go grab a beer anyone want one?" The girls all agreed and I lazily jogged to the garage and snagged four beers. My eyes catching on a small box that had "DO NOT OPEN" scrawled across the side. I walked over and popped the top of it. Only to find two of a bunch of photo albums and two of my journals. I sat down on the floor and opened the books of photos. Confusion struck me hard as I flipped frantically through all the pages. Pictures of Chloe and I at the beach. Pictures of a group of girls in blue blazers cheering on a stage, I was standing the center kissing Chloe's cheek. Picture after picture of me with the Bellas and even more of Chloe and I. Pictures of the bartender and her wife standing next to Chloe and I at Disneyland. I through the picture album down into the box and picked up the journal. Flipping through the pages only scanning it. Letter after letter to Chloe. Routine ideas, school notes, lyrics and mash up ideas. My hands shook as I stared down at an entry.

 ** _"_** ** _Graduation is two weeks away. I'll be honest I'm trying to keep my badass composure. We won worlds last week and I couldn't be happier. I'm afraid of what's going to happen to Chloe and my relationship after we graduate if I go to LA without her. I bought her a ring, I just haven't found the right time to ask. Come on, you're Beca effin Mitchell, man up bro. Okay tonight, I'm going to ask her tonight at this thing my brother is throwing. Chloe changed my life. Chloe loves me. Every stupid, sarcastic, angry and awkward part of me. I'm not sure why but I do know that I don't… No I can't survive without her. I want to spend every single day of the rest of my life with her."_**

A lump caught in my throat as I blinked in confusion at the page. Glancing at the bottom to see if it said anything about an answer.

 ** _"_** ** _YES! SHE SAID YES!"_**

This can't be, my head was spinning as I placed the journal back in the box and clutched it to my chest. I stormed around the back of the house and slammed the box down on the ground in the center of the group. A haunting silence fell over my friends and family. "What the actual fuck is this?" Everyone stared in horror. The only sound you could hear was Alex gasp. "Someone answer me!" Tears were falling uncontrollably down my face. No one responded, frozen in shock. I turned to Alex. She just blinked at me, Jared shifted awkwardly. I crumpled onto my knees as I stared at the box silently. "Am I crazy? I don't understand." I choked out between hysterical sobs, Chloe finally sat on her knees next to me. Hesitating before reaching out to comfort me. "Do not fucking touch me Chloe Beale." Anger ripped through me. She rested her hands back in her lap before tears filled her blue orbs. Stacie grabbed the back of my arms and for some reason I didn't shrink away from the contact. She shot an apologetic look at Chloe.

"Come on Mitchell, how about we go get you a drink?" I nodded leaning my full weight into the bartender's side. My feet felt like lead and I started to get that feeling in my chest that I had the night I had passed out next to my car on the side of the road. Stacie looked down at me when she set me in a chair. "Hey, you have to breathe." I squeezed her hand harder than I had meant to as I nodded violently. It took a few minutes but I began breathing steadily again, I couldn't hear anything from outside but Stacie put two shot glasses down on the table and poured out equal shots. I stared at the woman in shock pleading with my eyes for her to tell me what to do. "Drink this." She pushed a glass towards me before throwing back her own shot. Pouring another immediately. Four shots later she grabbed a tray from the cupboard. Placing enough shot glasses for everyone on it and placed three bottles of liquor in the center. She pulled a few red cups down and poured out drinks for everyone. "Don't move." She commanded, I wasn't sure I could walk away if I wanted to at this point. She carried both trays outside and I watched her pass out the red cups through the window. She lingered next to Chloe who had her face covered with her hands. She sulked back towards me and pulled me to my feet. "Beca Mitchell, I know you don't remember this. But you were once one of my closest friends. You were there when my parents got divorced, you were there to bail me out when I got arrested with no questions asked and you were in my wedding. You've always been there for me in your awkward sarcastic ways. So if you'll let me, I'd like to be there for you. Please." Her eyes were welcoming and full of love, I hesitated before nodding. She pulled me into a hug and I felt the tears roll down my burning face again. "Just listen okay, it's going to be hard but listen to what they have to say before you shut down." She rubbed my shoulders before I followed her back outside. Everyone silently avoiding eye contact, except Chloe who was locked on my every movement sniffling. "Okay." Stacie sighed as I pulled a chair out opposite of Chloe. I looked at Alex to begin.

"Beca, I'm sorry. I know this is all hard to take in." It was Aubrey who spoke first, clinging to Jesse's hand. "I'm not sure where to start."

"Look, we never wanted to hurt you." Jesse added, my blood began to boil at the thought of him being in on this. I shook my head and my eyes began to glaze over before I felt Stacie's hand on the back of my arm. I looked at her for support and she bobbed her head with encouragement.

"Okay, so there was an accident." Alex spoke slowly, calculating her words carefully. Megan rested her hand on our oldest sister's shoulder as if to life the burden of the confession from her. Alex shot her a grateful look.

"First off I need you to know that we love you, we did all this to protect you. Two weeks after graduation there was an accident. You sustained brain damage and the doctor said you were lucky to remember as much as you do. That those four years of your life were just a small price to pay." Her voice cracked. "You almost didn't make it Beca. When you woke up we panicked because you didn't even remember who we were." She paused looking for a supportive glance from the group, she pushed on. "Months went by and bits of your memory came back."

"You still didn't remember who I was." Chloe spoke with a trembling voice. I stared straight ahead as she spoke for some reason I felt the most betrayed by her. Aubrey moved next to the girl taking her hand in support. "Every time I came to see you, you'd freak out."

"Eventually Megan and I gave Chloe an ultimatum. The doctor said that important things, people and places might trigger random memories which would only confuse and hurt you." She took a drink of her cocktail. "Umm, do you mind if we do a shot?" I raised an eyebrow but shrugged. Stacie let go of my grip to pour out the shots. Cynthia had taken her place.

"Do you want Stacie and I to leave? I know this is overwhelming." I began to cry at the thought of Stacie leaving because she was my anchor just like the steering wheel had been all those months ago. Cynthia saw my panic rise and shook her head side to side. "It's okay, we'll stay. It's okay hun." I calmed at the sound of her voice next to me and took the shot from Stacie in both hands because I was shaking so bad. My eyes wandered over to Chloe who was staring at the empty glass in her hand, eyes brimmed with red as she sat in silence. I wanted more than anything just to shrink into her embrace but the image of the pictures in the album flashed through my mind and the thought made me ill with anger. Everyone set the empty glasses on the tray and I stood up quickly placing a bottle in my hand and taking a long pull. Chloe sighed. I offered it to her, remember the dream about the pool. She took it with a horrified expression on her face and matched my drink before handing it back. I stood there staring with distain on my face.

"Those dreams. The ones I told you about over the last few months." I stopped not sure how to ask what I was thinking.

"They were memories. The pool, rehearsals and the meadow." She stated evenly not trying to upset me anymore than I already was. I nodded and walked back to Stacie who flashed a small smile before rubbing my back.

"Why did you leave me?" I loudly whispered without looking up from my shoes. No one spoke because I hadn't made it clear who I was speaking to. "Everyone leaves." I muttered to myself. Chloe shifted in her seat, realizing I was speaking to her but not being able to formulate a useful response.

"She didn't have a choice." Alex broke the silence. "I threatened her with a restraining order. I told her she had to leave because she was a danger to your memory. I mean I guess I was right about her being what would trigger your memories but I was wrong about her being a danger." I looked up in time to see Alex make eye contact with Chloe for a moment before turning to face me. "I forced her to leave town and never come back. That's why I acted so rude towards her all this time. I never hated Chloe, I love her like a little sister. But I was trying to protect you."

"I don't understand." I choked out, none of this made sense. "Why was me remembering so bad?" I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the answer but I knew I needed to. I took another drink before offering the bottle to Stacie who gratefully followed my lead and passed the bottle around the circle.

"We weren't sure if you could handle remembering Beca, we were already losing you. After mom. What dad did. We couldn't get you to open up to any of us. You never laughed and you rarely even talked. You were always locked away with your music. And you were always drunk. Like, all the time." Jared spoke slowly tears evident in his deep voice. I felt like my lungs were restricting as my family kept avoiding whatever major secret they were hiding. I clutched the underside of my chair so hard it felt like my fingertips were going to start bleeding. Stacie noticed and peeled them away, rubbing my hand between her own. We sat in silence again for a long moment before the young bartend next to me took that as a signal for more shots. We all took them gratefully. My eyes locked on Chloe again in the harsh lighting, this time I couldn't pull them away as I watched her absent mindedly play with her necklace. Noticing the ring for the first time on the silver chain, my eyes widened as she sensed me staring and her blue orbs connected with my own dark blue eyes. A ring I questioned and it clicked. She tucked it away quickly as her face turned the same color as her hair. I traced the words on my wrist and clamped my eyes shut fighting back the tears. I inhaled sharply waiting impatiently for someone to continue. No one dared speak the truth of what everyone was collectively hiding.

"Buba didn't kill himself." Chloe finally whispered. My neck practically snapped as my face shot in her direction. My head spinning. "It was a-an a-accident but he didn't kill himself." She added staring at the bottle in her hands before taking a pull off the bottle that made my stomach lurch. If Chloe wasn't drunk she would be here in a moment.

"W-w-what?" I stuttered stupidly. Stacie held her breath waiting for someone to finish. Chloe looked at Megan and Alex for help but it was Stacie who spoke next.

"Beca, remember that I'm right here." Her voice was only loud enough for me to hear. I let the air out of my lungs. Squeezing Stacie's arm thankfully.

"Buba fell off the theater building. He didn't jump." Chloe's voice was tiny and fragile and I had never seen her look so broken before. Not that I could remember at least. Aubrey gulped shaking her head in disagreement that Chloe were the one to tell me. The bottle now back in my hands I really felt like I couldn't breathe and tears were stinging my eyes.

"You were up there with him. Drunker than ever and you were catatonic. Buba offered to go and talk you down and bring you home. He was always the best at that and none of us thought anything of it. Lindsey went with him knowing that you always listened to her no matter what state you were in." More sadness rushed through me at the mention of my childhood best friend's name, I didn't know it was possible to feel this much pain all at once. Megan was now holding Alex's hand as she spoke. A glint of guilt flashed through Megan's brown eyes. "You were walking along the edge of the roof and lost your footing, Buba moved forward to pull you back and he was moving too fast to stop and he fell. You fell backwards and broke your skull. Lindsey called 911 and got you to the hospital. He died on impact." My stomach lurched and I tripped over my chair turning from the group to empty my stomach into the trees behind us.

"Chloe it's okay, I've got her." Stacie's voice floated over the darkness. When all the contents in my stomach were laying in front of me I felt Stacie's cold hand pick me up and cradle me silently. Chloe's sobs were echoing in my brain and my sisters'. "Come on small fry I know it's hard to hear but let them finish okay. And then we can go wherever you want." I looked at her fearfully. "I promise." She added with a sympathetic smile. I stood up and walked back to the group, grabbing the bottle and taking a pull in hopes of getting the horrid taste of stomach acid out of my mouth. Stacie poured another round, her attempt at calming our nerves and making it easier for them to talk effectively working. Chloe was fiddling with the ring around her neck again.

"We were engaged." I stated gaining everyone's undivided attention. My eyes filled with anger as I looked at my girlfriend who had once been my fiancé. "You left me." My voiced hitched. I took a long drink. Stacie whispered for me to slow down a little bit. "You lied to me. Every single day." Tears falling again at the betrayal I felt. "I gave you opportunities to tell me. Every time I brought up those dreams or memories. Every time I said I swore I knew you. At the hospital when I told you I remembered seeing you at the tattoo shop." My head pounded as I replayed what I had just said in my head over and over. "Why Chloe?"

"I was afraid to lose you Beca." She sobbed into her hands now. I stared emotionless at the older woman. After gulping a couple breaths down, she looked up. "I went to LA after your accident. I lived in the apartment we picked out for two full years. I taught at the college like I was supposed to but none of it felt right. I felt empty, the apartment felt empty and I was lost. So I did the only thing I could think of. I came home. Beca you are my home. I had no idea what to expect when I came here that night. I hoped you would remember me, us. But you didn't. I decided that starting over, pretending that we were strangers and getting to know each other all over again was better than trying not to love you." Her confession had most of the group in tears but I just sat like a deer in the headlights. "I figured if you didn't love me after meeting me again and getting to know me then I would figure out how to get on with my life but I couldn't spend the rest of my life knowing I never even tried." She finished and fell into body trembling sobs. I tried to fight down the feeling of love that was growing in my heart and remembered that she still left. I turned to my sisters and shook my head.

"You had no right to chase her off. You had no right to decide what I could and couldn't handle. You had no right to lie to me about my brother and you have no right to pretend like you did all this for my wellbeing. You were being purely selfish by not wanting to help me with the recovery of what happened or trying to help me get my memories back. You ran all my friends and my fiancé off. You ruined my life." I stopped as a thought flashed through my mind. "I-it sh-should have been me." I stammered when I realized the hand I played in my brother's accident.

"Don't say that Beca." Stacie practically shouted, her eyes finally filling with tears. I stood up quickly.

"Can we go now? I can't listen anymore." Stacie nodded and asked if someone would take Cynthia home. Aubrey muttered something to Jesse who pointed at a now shattered Chloe and nodded. Stacie followed me to my car and I tossed her the keys. Clutching the bottle to my chest I stopped to look back at the house.

"Beca?" I small voice drifted from the shadows on the side of the house. I knew it was Chloe before the figure emerged. I hesitated before walking toward her. She looked as if she desperately wanted to reach out and touch me but she suppressed the desire and kicked at the rocks beneath her feet. "I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you but I couldn't figure out how or when." Honesty rippled through her voice. I lifted her chin with my hand. "I know you probably hate me." Her voice was tiny and guilt tore through me seeing the woman that stole my heart so broken. I smashed my lips into her perfect mouth. The kiss rough and angry at first but softened. I pulled back for air, the kiss leaving a fresh sting in my heart. I kissed her again pulling her into my body as close as physically possible. Desperate for the relief of her love to wash through me. I realized I was crying when I pulled away again. Smashing my mouth into lips again with anger. Twisted my hand roughly into her long red curls. When the kiss stopped I rested forehead against her head.

"I could never hate you Chloe Beale." I whispered knowing the words were true. "I love you." I stopped as a dagger twisted in my heart. "You just broke my heart. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry." The words almost got caught in my throat. I wanted to take the back as soon as they left my mouth but I couldn't. Instead I grabbed her waist and pulled her hips into mine before placing my hand on her warm cheek and wiping the tears with my thumb. I kissed her one more time, slower and more painful than the last before turning on my heels and walking to the car. Knowing that I couldn't look back or I wouldn't be able to go. The anger and pain I was feeling would ruin her in the end and I couldn't live with destroying the angel that was Chloe Beale. I closed the door to the car and looked at Stacie was had tears in her eyes from the scene that she had just witness. I rolled the window down and asked her to get on the freeway and drive until we were a few hours away. She nodded slowly and did as I asked. I stared up at the stars and muttered under my breath. "Chloe I'm sorry that I left you when I promised not to. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm just trying to protect you like you all tried to protect me. I understand why you did it, even if it wasn't their place to make that decision. I'm just too self-destructive and it isn't fair to make you spend the rest of your life picking up the miserable pieces of mine. I believe in what you did for me. I just need you to believe in me one more time and trust that I'm trying to do my best here. I would rather cut it off now and hurt you then you spend the rest of your life hating me for being mad at myself for what I did to Buba. What I did to my family. I don't hate you. I love you so much it's going to kill me." Stacie sat in silence even though I know she heard every word I said.

* * *

 **For real guys I know this chapter is kind of long but a lot of stuff was crammed in and I have so many great ideas on where to go with this story but your feed back would be extremely appreciated.**


	7. What do I do now

My eyes strained in the darkness of my apartment, wishing I was still near the Barden campus. The new apartment I live in was smaller and more depressing then the previous address, which I had actually spent a good amount of time picking out. I choked down the thought with my beer. Glancing down at the letter in my hand.

 ** _Beca Mitchell,_**

 ** _I know I haven't known you long and you might think I'm a freak for bursting in on you in the shower. But I think maybe if I write this out it won't constantly fog my mind. I like you. Something about you is just so addicting. I haven't felt this way, like ever. I know I'm just another random girl but when I said we would be fast friends I was really hoping for more. We've connected on a level I wasn't sure was possible. I know Aubrey really harps on you but I think you are brilliant, beautiful and beyond talented. When I'm with you my heart does that weird kick start thing and it is kind of an understatement when I say you give me butterflies. Stacie says I should just tell you but I'm really not sure how you'd react and the thought of losing you makes me kind of sick. So I'll just keep writing these really sappy letters and keep my thoughts to myself. Beca, I think we could be great together even if that seems a little odd. To be honest I get extremely jealous when Jesse is around. I'm... I think that you are just completely amazing. I can't say that enough. Well my Russian Lit professor is glaring at me because I haven't paid any attention to his lecture. I can't wait to see you at rehearsals today._**

 ** _Always,_**

 ** _Chloe. Xoxox_**

I blinked back tears as I remembered quite clearly the first time I talked to the redhead. That perfect Chloe Beale smile, those unbearably blue eyes and her voice, I frowned a little at the thought. My memories pretty much completely flooding my mind now. I chugged the almost full beer in my hand before grabbing another, popping one of the left over painkillers in my mouth like a tic tac on my way back to the couch. I picked up another letter out of the box. This one was scrawled out in a much messier version of Chloe's hand writing.

 ** _Beca,_**

 ** _You kissed Jesse after ICCAs today. I'm not sure what to say other than my heart feels like someone just ran a freight train into it. All I could think about after the performance was finding you. I saw you run up to him and then you pulled him in. I really thought I was about to open my own version of puke gate at that moment. (Don't tell Aubrey I said that.) I ran straight back to my room and buried myself in a pile of blankets, praying you'd notice my absence and come talk to me. You never did. Beca I think I'm in love with you… Actually. I am in love with you Beca Skylar Mitchell. I know I'm your best friend and this must be breaking some kind of ancient code but Beca I love you. I don't know what to do without you. I'll put on a front and pretend like you and Jesse doesn't bother me but I promise I love you so much more than he does. I believe in you and all that you stand for. Just don't forget that okay?_**

 ** _Always,_**

 ** _Chloe. Xoxo_**

I set the letter down looking at the stacks of journals I had written. Organized into piles by the period of life that they represented. The four years at Barden were the only I kept out of the boxes that cluttered my living room. Another pile next to them represented all that had to do with Chloe Beale. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and glanced at the time. Noticing it was just after two in the morning, I scrolled down to Chloe's name and began to type.

 _"_ _Chloe Beale,_

 _You are all I've ever wanted in life. I love you more than the air I breathe and right now I feel like dying. You're the only thing in my life that has ever felt like home. I miss you… xoxo."_

I hit send not expecting a response. This was the fifth time this week I had sent her a drunk text and she hadn't responded. What did I expect after ignoring exactly 216 phone calls and 396 text messages from her in the last six months? When my phone lit up my heart stopped for a brief second.

"Hello." I winced at the drunkenness in my voice.

"Beca? How are you?" Stacie's calm voice filled my head and I sighed in disappointment.

"What are you doing up so late?" I asked in an attempt to ignore her question.

"I just closed shop and hadn't heard from you in a week so I thought I'd try and see if you would answer. Stacie's confession warmed my heart slightly but I pushed the feeling down.

"How are things? How's Aubrey and Jesse? My siblings? You and CR?" I paused not sure how else to ask. "Chloe?" My voice lowered to a whisper.

"Things are okay; we miss you like crazy. When do you come to town next? Can I meet with you for lunch? Or meet somewhere out of town? I really want to see you. Aubrey officially moved into town. Her and Chloe are teaching dance at Barden. I'm sure you can only imagine how that's going." She chuckled softly. "Cynthia and I are good. We just really miss you, shorty." I smiled at the sound of the old nickname. I thought about it a moment before responding.

"I come into town for a meeting tomorrow, I can swing by the bar if you'd like. Say around seven?" I really did miss Stacie, my thoughts filled with sleepless nights at the Bella house. Her crying and me showing up with a pint of ice cream and an awkward hug in an attempt to make her feel better. "I miss you Stacie." I added without regret.

"Tomorrow at seven. Just me or can Cynthia be there?" Her question innocent but terrifying, I thought for a moment before responding softly.

"CR can be there. It's a date. See you tomorrow." I quickly hung up as tears filled my eyes. I laid down on the couch, too afraid to sleep in my giant bed alone because it made me miss Chloe. I lifted the beer bottle to my lips. Just as my eyes began to flutter closed I heard my phone buzz again. Groaning as I rolled over to retrieve it from the spot on the floor where I lazily tossed it before, I swiped the screen to see what the notification was. My heart practically stopped as I read the name on my screen.

 _"_ _Beca? Please, I need to see you. I miss you. I don't know how to do this without you. Are you okay? Please tell me you're okay._

 _Always yours,_

 _Chloe xoxo"_

I read the message ten times over before deciding not to respond and finally letting sleep take hold in the cold apartment. Blue eyes burning the back of my eyelids as I tried not to think of Chloe.

 ** _"_** ** _Beca, what are you doing?" Chloe's voice was soft and playful as I closed her door behind me. She sat up slowly as I awkwardly stood with my back pressed against her door. The silence growing thicker as I just stood there. She slipped out of her bed and walked slowly in my direction. "Are you okay?" The question filled with angst. I nodded in the nearly black room. Tears falling in the dark but I was thankful that Chloe couldn't see them. I had gone to a party with Stacie and Cynthia across campus. Leaving only when I was fulling intoxicated and some random football player cornered me in an empty bedroom. Interrupted a few minutes after he cornered by Stacie who had begun to worry about me when she couldn't find me on the dance floor. Thankfully he didn't get what he was looking for because Cynthia Rose had manhandled him like he was a rag doll and Stacie just held me as I cried in horror at what could have just happened. "Beca? Say something." The redhead's voice was on the thin line of panic._**

 ** _"_** ** _I love you." I blurted out in the safety of darkness. Seeing Chloe's silhouette freeze completely at my drunken confession. I just stood frozen and blinking trying to capture Chloe's reaction and failing. My hand slipped off the door knob and I went tumbling sideways, tears falling and sobs escaping my lips. Chloe sat next to me slowly, taking me in her strong arms. Not saying a word about what I just admitted. "Please don't hate me." I could feel her body tense next to me as she twisted her lips to the side of my face. I felt used and disgusting. My body shuttered at the thought of the football player throwing my small from on the bed, thankfully Stacie saved the day again. I really didn't know what was happening to me and I hated that I was beginning to care about so many people, especially a group of girls. There's just nothing in the world that I would trade my friendship with Stacie for._**

 ** _"_** ** _Beca you're drunk." Chloe cooed. I shook my head causing a wave of nausea. Chloe just sat in silence waiting. It made me a little self-conscious because she was never quiet and she always had some type of commentary to add. Beca Mitchell was turning into a softie and it was all because of the beautiful woman beside me._**

 ** _"_** ** _No Chloe, I love you. Drunk or sober. I love your confidence, I love the way your eyes sparkle when you catch me staring at you, I love how passionate you are about the Bellas, I love how you support Aubrey even when she's gone completely psycho, I love that you believe in me. I love that you see the best in people even when everyone else brushes them off. I love the sound of you breathing when you sleep, I love how when we cuddle you always manage to twist one of your legs around mine so I can't squirm away. I love that stupid Chloe Beale smile you get when you find something that you want. I love that you don't pull away when I scoot closer. I love the way your eyes linger on my lips when we are talking alone. I love the way you drive me crazy without realizing it. Chloe Beale, I love the way you turn me on. I love the way you bit your lip. I've wanted you since the day we met at the activities fair, you bursting into my shower only put the nail in the coffin." I stopped in horror as the words spilled out of my drunken mouth, I meant everything I was saying but I didn't want to scare her away. Chloe reached up and turned a light on. I blinked trying to force the blinding light away. Chloe's eyes were gazing deeply into mine. Her lip now a victim of her pearly whites. I laughed out loud at the thought of kissing her. A serious expression crossed her face and I couldn't help myself. "Chloe? Can I kiss you?" I whispered in the otherwise empty room._**

 ** _"_** ** _No." She responded after a moment. Sadness seeping into my eyes slowly. "Not when you're drunk." She added while wiping a tear away with her soft hand. I attempted to stand and leave when I felt her hand snag my wrist. "Stay." Her voice was small and caught my attention. I blinked in surprise. She pulled me towards the bed and pulled the blankets back. I nodded slowly and climbed next to the wall, expecting Chloe to use the spare bed. Not that we didn't usually share her bed but considering what I just spilled out I thought she'd be uncomfortable lying next to me. When she climbed in next to me I sighed in relief. "Come here Beca." She demanded pulling me closer, her leg twisted between mine, her hand snaking up under the back of my shirt. Hand burning my skin. What I heard next I wasn't sure if it was real so I just laid there listening to her heartbeat. "Beca, I'm IN love with you."_**

I squinted my eyes as the sun shone through the window waking me. I glanced at the clock groaning at the time, slowly I sulked off toward the shower. Knowing I couldn't skip this meeting. I grabbed the new bottle of vodka from the freezer on the way out the door, storing it under the passenger seat of my BMW before driving the half hour to the radio station. I kept my sunglasses on as I snuck into the meeting that had started without me. Luke leaned over, jabbing me in the ribs. "You look like shit Becky." I pushed him away, fully aware that my presentation wasn't all that appealing. I nodded in and out of sleep as the meeting droned on. "Mitchell, it's over. Time to go." Luke's accent snapped me awake. I looked at the time and whined softly to myself. I returned to my car and drove aimlessly for a while before I found myself pulling into a familiar parking lot. Blinking up at the building in front of me I pulled the bottled I stashed away out before stumbling out of my car. I pulled myself up the stairs. Awkwardly staring at the numbers on the apartment door in front of me. I stood there for a few long minutes before turning to leave. This was the eleventh time this week I found myself holding my hand inches from knocking on the door that I actually had my own key to. Just as I began walking away the door swung wide open. "Beca?" The voice halfway sobered me up. I didn't stop walking but instead dropped my head down to watch as my feet picked up the pace. If I pretend like she didn't see me, maybe she actually didn't. I slammed the door to my BMW and stared at my knuckles which could have torn through my skin at any second as far as I was concerned. I stared intently in the direction I came from, half of me wanting Chloe to come after me and the other half praying that she didn't. After a few minutes I decided that it was for the best and drove down the Stacie's bar. I called her as I sat in the idling car.

"Shorty don't you dare tell me you're bailing on me right now." Stacie's voice was serious and I laughed loudly. The sound seemed foreign and really strange to me.

"No, actually I'm here. I was just wondering if I could park out back. My car is kind of…" My voice trailed off not sure how to finish the sentence. Stacie chuckled lightly.

"Your car is kind of an attention grabber and everyone will recognize it. Yeah go ahead, back door is unlocked if you don't want to use the front. Let yourself in." I registered the smile in her voice and a warm feeling nipped at the edge of my heart making my body shutter. I whipped the car around behind the building, pulling the zipper of my sweatshirt all the way up and pushing my sunglasses into place before entering the building. I took a seat at the back end of the bar and smiled despite my best efforts as the bartender's eyes light up at the sight of my slumped body. "You actually came!" Her excitement was welcomed but the surprise in her voice stung a little. Not that I didn't deserve it I just really did miss my friend. She hugged me for a really long few minutes, I could tell she was trying not to cry. "I'm sorry!" She laughed embarrassed, swiftly dabbing the forming tears from her eyes. "Want a drink?" She smiled before stepping back behind the bar. She didn't wait for my answer; sure she already knew just by looking at me that I needed one. She came back with a beer and some ibuprofen. "When was the last time you ate Beca?" Her eyes taking in my horrible appearance. I thought about it and shrugged when I realized I couldn't remember. Stacie picked up her phone, tying something quickly and shoved it in her back pocket. "Cynthia is going to bring some food down. She'll be here soon." I nodded slowly at the woman standing in front of me, thinking back to the dream I had last night.

"Stacie, umm. Thank you." I stared down at my hands as I picked apart a napkin. I really hated how bad I was at this feelings thing sometimes. "For everything, the memories are coming back now. I mean slowly and with a lot of effort but they are. Thank you for saving me that night at the frat party. Thank you for being there for me at my brother's. Thank you for pushing me in the right direction gently when I didn't remember who you were. You're my best friend Stacie. You've been kind of Beca and Chloe end game from the start huh?" I avoided looking up at the end of my question but Stacie placed a warm hand on mine and my eyes managed to dart up to her brown eyes.

"I've been team Bechloe since auditions. Did you not see the way Red looked like she wanted to jump your bones right there in front of everyone?" She laughed deeply and turned back to drying glasses.

"Bechloe? You know for a fact if Amy were here she'd argue that it's Bloe." Cynthia Rose interjected setting a couple bags down on the oak bar. "And everyone loves a good Bloe." She grinned widely at her wife and winked back at me. "Speaking of that…" She trailed off earning a glare from Stacie. "I'm just kidding. How is Red?" CR looked at me sincerely wondering. My jaw began to ache because I was clinching it so hard. I shook my head slowly. "She was down here a couple weeks ago. I've never seen her so wasted." Sadness crept at the edge of the woman's eyes. Stacie threw a dirty towel at her and pushed a container of food in my direction. I smiled gratefully and slowly began to eat the potatoes.

"Guys I need to talk to Chloe." I picked at the food in front of me in an attempt to avoid seeing their expressions. When no one said anything I looked up to see Cynthia staring behind me. Following her gaze, I turned in my seat.

"I think you're right." The redhead said standing a few feet away. My heart began pounding so hard I had to reach out and steady myself on the bar. I just stared fixated on the woman standing in front of me with a harsh expression on her face and her arms folded tightly in front of her. I tripped trying to stand up. I looked back at Stacie in horror, my first thought was that she had asked Chloe to come down. When I turned back to Chloe I could see Jesse and Aubrey stroll through the door casually flirting over Chloe's shoulder and instantly felt guilty for making an assumption.

"Hi Chloe." I whispered shrinking under her unrelenting glare. She took a moment to take in my frame and expression before her eyes softened just the slightest.

"Hey Beca." She matched my frail tone. Arms still crossed against her front, my eyes drifted to the chain around her neck which was still sporting her old engagement ring I gulped audibly. Aubrey caught my eye and stood mouth hanging open as she stopped Jesse in his tracks before he noticed the scene in front of him. His reaction wasn't far from her own. My navy eyes traveled back to the worried eyes of Chloe Beale.

"Are you hungry?" I ventured hopeful. She nodded slowly and turned without another word. I followed forgetting the people surrounding us. She walked at a quick pace in an attempt to keep her emotions level, something I remembered from college. "Slow down. I know you're trying to reign your emotions in and collect your thoughts but my legs are so much shorter than yours!" I shouted after her, Chloe stopping mid stride and turning to face me with a doe eyed expression.

"You remember?" This time her voice was shaking and she walked towards me.

"I remember everything Chloe." I paused. "Well there are still gaps but I'm working on that I guess. I remember everything for the most part." I admitted happily. She bobbed her head once as she took in the information. "I remember the night I told you I love you. I was drunk as shit and you wouldn't kiss me." Her eyes narrowed at the memory. "You thought I was asleep and you told me you were in love with me." Tears stung my eyes but I clenched my fists tightly to fight back the water. "I also have all your letters still." I admitted this confession shyly. I pulled my wallet out of my pocket and took a piece of paper out. "I need to read this to you. But I need you to promise me you won't say anything until I'm finished." Chloe agreed softly now standing about two feet in front of me. I cleared my throat before beginning.

 _"_ _Chloe Beale,_

 _I'm not sure what to sure what to do right now. I don't know what to say and every time I think I can finally say the words out loud I lose my nerve. I know that I messed up. I mess up a lot. I'm also super insecure which I'm sure you already know. There's something about you though that makes me… It makes me better. You make me better. And I want nothing more in this life than to make you better. I know I have a lot of issues, a lot of walls and I'm a distant asshole at times. But you make me feel things that I never knew were possible. I've felt nothing but pain and anger for so long that when I met you… I was terrified. I felt things inside my chest, I felt my heart beating for the first time in a really long time. You make me feel so alive. You're spontaneous and funny. You're compassionate and driven. When you put your mind to something you do whatever it takes to accomplish it. You know how to get what you want. You're beautiful and I know that you know that. I mean we can't even go out in public without people staring at you in awe. Your voice is incredible and so is your mind. You're an angel Chloe and I'm just a mere human trying not to drown in the light you provide. You see something in me and I'm not really sure that I will ever understand what it is. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you Chlo. Everyone important to me has left and I'm so scared you will also. I know that if you do it will be all my fault and I can't lie. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I lost you. Chloe, I believe home isn't a place. It's a feeling. A feeling I only get when I get when I'm with you. Chloe you're home. You're MY home. I love you. I wish I could find the words to tell you this. I suck at this feelings thing. I push everyone away because it's easier. It's easier to just not let anyone in because I can't handle them leaving again. But you came crashing through those walls, leaving me utterly defenseless. I just want to be home Chloe. I just want to be with you._

 _Love Always,_

 _Beca xoxo."_

I stood in silence staring down at the shaking letter, unsure of what to say or do next. Chloe exhaled deeply, silent tears falling down her face. "When did you write that Beca?" Her question hung in the air as I slowly lifted my eyes to see her standing inches from my face.

"A week ago." I whispered trying my hardest not to lean forward and kiss her. Chloe closed the gap, her lips tasted like strawberry gum. The kiss only lasted a couple seconds before she pulled away. Tears falling down my face freely as I tried to contain a sob. "Chloe I want to come home." My hands fell weakly to my sides as I still clutched the tattered letter in my hands. She didn't say anything as conflict filled her eyes.

"I never locked the door." She spilled without thinking. "I left the light on for you." Her chest deflated as she thought back to the last few months of her life without me. "I think…" Her sentence drifted as she thought about what to say. My heart felt like it was shattering as I prepared for the well-deserved rejection that I knew was coming. "Come home then Beca." Her eyes narrowed with seriousness bleeding into her dilated pupils. "This is it though Beca, I can't keep doing this." For the first time that night I realized how exhausted the older woman looked. Not just physically but emotionally. "No more lies, no pushing me away. This is it." She stated firmly. "I also think there's some things we need to talk about but how about we go grab something to eat? I'm famished." She smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes this time. This time we began walking in step, occasionally letting our hands brush against each other. We walked into the restaurant around the corner and sat in the both by the window. Chloe was watching the people outside bustling around. I ordered us coffee and nodded politely to the waitress as she said something about coming back in a minute to take our order. "I'm sorry." Chloe finally spoke as her face turned towards my slumped body. Shock must have been written on my face as I took the words in. "For not telling you. For not telling you everything." She finally explained. "I was just afraid to lose you but I guess I shouldn't have been selfish because the way you found out was just… heartbreaking and wrong." I nodded with familiar sadness creeping in when the image of that night flooded my mind. "It was wrong and you had every right to hate me Beca."

"I never hated you Chloe." I interjected sharply gaining a wide eyed response. "I could never hate you. You're Chloe Beale. I asked you to marry me for fuck sake." Instinctively she reached up to the ring hanging from her neck. "I believe in what you did for me." I said honestly meaning it this time. "I was just hurt, especially because I felt like I gave you so many oppurtunities to come clean. I also know how terrifying my siblings are. I know how hard they can be and I know how painfully crippling it is to be afraid of losing something that you don't think you can live without." Chloe was about to say something when the waitress seemed to appear out of nowhere. I ordered for us, the same thing that we always got when we came her during our time at Barden. Chloe smiled again as she realized that I remembered that also. "Can you fill in some things for me or at the very least try to?" She hesitated before nodding. "How long were you in town before that night at my brother's?" Chloe thought deeply for a moment.

"Four months." She said quickly.

"How many times did I see you?" I asked as multiple memories of a random red head popped in my mind.

"Nine, I kept trying to approach you but I wasn't even sure who you were anymore. I knew Beca was still in there but you were Skylar then and I wasn't sure how to approach you." Her voice steady and slow as she spoke. "Before you ask, Stacie and Cynthia were my inside eyes the whole time. They watched you and stayed in on the town talk to keep me updated." I sighed knowing that Chloe could practically read my mind. "Can I ask you something?" I nodded thinking it was only fair. "I know it's really soon and everything but will you please just move in with me?" I raised an eye brow in confusion but stifled the thoughts pouring into my mind. "I just want to know that when I wake up every day, you'll be there. I want to know you're not a figment of my imagination Beca. You're like a ghost, one second you're here and then as soon as I reach out to touch you… You vanish." I opened my mouth to respond but Chloe wasn't done with her thought. "I know you came to my apartment. Not just today but every single time. I'd watch you from my window just sitting in your car. Every time I ran outside to try and talk to you… Well you'd be gone. I've seen you sulking around the campus peaking glances from the other side of your laptop screen as I walked to teach class. I saw you at the park the night I sat on the swings crying. I wanted more than anything to call out to you but I couldn't find my voice." I watched her talk completely in bewilderment. "We don't have to be official or anything but I just want you to come home. For real this time."

"Okay Chloe." I agreed without needing any convincing after she blurted out the question. "Are you sure though?" I hesitantly asked. She didn't need to respond because I could see the answer swimming in the depths of her bright blue eyes.


	8. You belong

I placed the last journal on the shelf and wiped the sweat from my face. Sitting back on the couch thankful that all the boxes were unpacked. It had only been two weeks since I agreed to move in with Chloe but we were okay again and that thought made me calm down when I began stressing about how big of a step this was. Chloe was still at work and I didn't take the alone time for granted. Swiftly I got up and finished the beer sitting on the table, tossing the empty bottle in the trash. Flipping the lid off another one before I sank back into the oversized couch. My phone buzzed loudly resting on the coffee table next to the photo album I found at my brother's months back.

 _"_ _Stopping to get something for dinner, do you need anything?"_ I smirked to myself as I read Chloe's text.

 _"_ _Beer? Kissing? You? Not in that order! Hurry home (;"_ I hit send before propping my feet up on the couch and closing my eyes trying to take in the moment. Home was the last word that floated into my head before I drifted to sleep.

 ** _"_** ** _What do you mean you don't KNOW what you did with it?" My voice squeaked as I stared at my girlfriend in disbelief. She sank further into the wall on the opposite side of the room. Chloe had the look of a small child being scolded and a puppy that had just been kicked. "I can't believe you Chloe!" Tears assaulting my eyes as I shook with rage. I'd never raised my voice like this. Sure we'd had fights but I'd never actually SCREAMED at her before. I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to find my grounding. Chloe was crying quietly now and I sighed as I closed the gap between us. "It's okay Chlo. I'm sorry babe. It's just a stupid necklace anyways." She sobbed harder as I tried to comfort her._**

 ** _"_** ** _No Beca! It's not some stupid necklace. It's the most important thing I own." Her eyes flooded with pain. She hiccupped and I couldn't help but laugh. "Stop." She whined as I twisted my arm around her and pulled her into my chest. "I never take it off. The one time I did I lose it." She sighed heavily as we both thought about the silver necklace with the pendant of compass rose on it. "You guide me home." She quoted it from memory. I smiled into her red curls._**

 ** _"_** ** _I'll just get you a new one Chlo." Feeling guilty now that I had freaked out so bad. "I'm sorry, I'm just stressed out and when I came back to the house and saw you weren't wearing it I panicked. I thought you were breaking up with me and I really can't handle that." Chloe pulled back her eyes swollen from crying._**

 ** _"_** ** _Beca Mitchell, are you kidding me?" Anger filling her voice. "You think I'd fucking leave you?" Now it was I who shrank away in fear. She stood up flailing her arms and yelling about how stupid and naïve she thought I was being, something about how were we ever going to last after college if I was so insecure about her leaving me. This stung and as soon as the words left her mouth she turned to me with a slacked jaw. "Beca I didn't mean that!" I scrambled to my feet and ran out the door leaving Chloe in the hallway yelling after me. I scrambled upstairs to the loft I shared with Amy. I slammed the door and heard a house full of groans from the other Bellas. When the door opened Stacie walked in with a blanket wrapped around her and a pint of ice cream. She sat on the edge of the bed until I sat and pulled my knees to my chest and took the ice cream. She rambled on about some guy she met at a party last week and then asked if I thought Cynthia Rose was into her. I ignored her question kind of in a daze. When the door creaked open I saw the redhead emerge from the dark hallway. "Can I talk to you?" Stacie looked back at me and grabbed the ice cream before running out the door giggling. I lifted my hands in defeat still holding the spoon. "Beca please look at me." I did as she asked because I couldn't ever tell Chloe no. Which I hated more than anything. "Can we just… forget all this happened?" When I didn't respond she smiled pathetically. "I have something for you." I looked at her unsure of what to say and noticed her necklace safely in its place. She handed me a small blue box and a letter. "Don't read that right now okay. Just… next time you're afraid I'm going to leave. Open the box." I flipped the lid open and took in the sight of a silver ring. Pulling it out to examine it closer I could see little music notes engraved on it. "You are my home." She said as I struggled to read the inside. The signature Chloe Beale smile lit up her face before she spoke again. "It's made out of titanium. I figured you don't wear a lot of jewelry and you lost your thumb ring when we had to change that flat tire on the way back from the airport at ICCAs because Amy ran over that board with the nails in it." She laughed loudly as I placed it on my thumb. Still completely speechless I just kept blinking at her. "Can I stay?" She asked innocently, I nodded and pulled the blankets back so she could climb in next to me._**

 ** _"_** ** _I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I admitted bluntly as I lay there with her head on my chest. She hummed in happy approval as we fell asleep at the same time._**

I rolled over on the couch and pulled the blanket up to my chin. Blinking when I realized I hadn't fallen asleep with a blanket on. The sound of an acoustic guitar floated effortlessly through our home, moments later Chloe's unmistakable voice joined it. I blinked again wondering when she learned to play the guitar. I laid there silently wanting to know what song it was that was tugging at her heart strings.

 ** _"_** ** _May these words be the first  
To find your ears  
The world is brighter than the sun  
Now that you're here  
Though your eyes will need some time to adjust  
To the overwhelming light surrounding us."_**

It was a song that I had never heard befoe but so far I liked it. Knowing that the original version wouldn't sound half as beautiful as Chloe's did. The acoustics in our apartment reminded me of the moment we sang together for the first time in the dorm showers. Chloe executed each chord and strum perfectly and my heart filled with pride listening.

 ** _"_** ** _I'll give you everything I have.  
I'll teach you everything I know,  
I promise I'll do better.  
I will always hold you close,  
But I will learn to let you go.  
I promise I'll do better.  
I will soften every edge.  
I'll hold the world to its best,  
And I'll do better.  
With every heartbeat I have left  
I will defend your every breath,  
And I'll do better."_**

My throat grew dry as I felt the compassion in Chloe's voice settle in my ears. This was probably the most beautiful piece that I had ever heard her sing.

 ** _"_** ** _'Сause you are loved;  
You are loved more than you know.  
I hereby pledge all of my days  
To prove it so.  
Though your heart is far too young to realize.  
The unimaginable light you hold inside."_**

I peaked over the back of the couch to the open bedroom door, Chloe's back was facing me as she stummed the intrument. I slowly stood and leaned against the door frame. Watching as Chloe sang and played with her eyes closed. The angle of the mirror lighting her features perfectly.

 ** _"_** ** _I'll give you everything I have,  
I'll teach you everything I know.  
I promise I'll do better,  
I will always hold you close.  
But I will learn to let you go.  
I promise I'll do better.  
I will rearrange the stars,  
Pull 'em down to where you are.  
I promise, I'll do better.  
With every heartbeat I have left  
I'll defend your every breath.  
I will soften every edge.  
Hold the world to its best.  
With every heartbeat I have left.  
I'll defend your every breath."_**

I stood there as she played out the last chord; shaking my head in complete awe. "When did you learn to play?" I asked after a short moment.

"Jesus Beca!" Chloe jumped off the bed clutching her heart. "I learned in LA. I guess I kind of fell in love with it because it made me feel closer to you." She put the guitar down against the wall and walked over to me, snaking her arms around my waist and pressing her forehead into mine. "I'm sorry if I woke you up." She whispered, her lips hovering above mine.

"No, that was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced." Chloe pulled back at the sound of my words. Searching my face for something.

"It's Light by Sleep at Last." She finally muttered staring at my lips. "It's my favorite song because…" She trailed off, her eyes said she wasn't sure if she wanted to tell me or not.

"Tell me?" I pleaded wanting to know the story behind it.

"I heard it on one of my music apps on my way home from work one day when I was living in LA. I rushed home and packed everything I had. And drove back here to you. I heard it again the night I went to your brother's. I heard from Stacie that Jared was throwing a party. I knew you'd be there. I sat in his driveway listening to it before I went inside to find you. I just think of you… I feel you in here. When I hear it." She pointed to her heart. I kissed her lips and smiled at the taste of strawberry gum and gummy bears. I pushed her back on the bed and sat criss cross in front of her.

"I have some news." I admitted not even attempting to hide the pride in my voice. She propped herself up on her elbows. I rolled my eyes at the butterflies in my stomach. "We're expanding the radio station. Which means new equimpemnt and a recording studio." I paused waiting for it to click in Chloe's head. Rolling my eyes again when it didn't. "We're becoming a production studio meaning…" I wanted Chloe to figure it out.

"Beca! No way!" She jumped up into a sitting position, her face lighting up like fireworks. Her eyes narrowed. "Are you serious?!" The excitement rolling of her skin.

"Dixie Chicks serious." We both laughed at the Aubrey Posen quote. "But…" Her eyes narrowed even more as she waited for me to finish my sentence. "I have to go pitch this stupid idea to one of our investors in LA." Chloe's expression saddened quickly at the thought of me going to LA. "It's supposed to be this huge like four or five-day thing. Private jet, chuffer, penthouse suit type thing. Fancy black tie event and some other music type things." I stopped again debating on how to ask her if she would like to come. "Do you golf by chance?" She smiled and shook her head. "I didn't think so, neither do Stacie or Aubrey though. So I guess you all can just go to make CR, Jesse and I look good. Give us something to show off and brag about. What do you say?" She was staring with her mouth ajar. "Chloe Beale, will you please make me the luckiest woman to ever exist and accompany me to this amazing weekend?" She didn't speak but pulled my face into her own and kissed me passionately. I panted as we pulled apart for air. "In that case I got you something." I stretched over to the nightstand pulling out a little blue box, removing a necklace identical to her old one from the it's container. She sat extremely still as I removed the chain from her neck and put the new one there. Her eyes watching as I carefully removed the engagement ring from the silver chain. "Now, I'm not purposing. Not yet anyways. I thought it would look funny if you were walking around with a diamond ring on your neck and not your finger. I don't want anyone thinking that you aren't mine or something." I slipped the ring on her finger with a serious expression on my face. Feeling like tornados were twisting in my stomach. Tears in her eyes as she lifted the necklace from her neck. "Stacie said that your last one broke when you guys were at the beach and you couldn't find it, so I replaced it." Chloe blushed.

"I got you something also. I was going to wait until Christmas." Chloe turned to her own nightstand and removed a matching blue box. I was confused with her sentence knowing Christmas was over six months away. "It's simple, not an engagement ring but more like a promise ring." She paused before slipping it onto my ring finger. "It says I believe in you on the inside." A detailed arrow was engraved on the outside and I bit my lip as I stared at it. "This is my promise to never leave you Beca Skylar Mitchell. No matter how hard it gets. No matter how frustrating you are. No matter how moody and dark you become. I promise to give you everything I have. I will teach you everything I know. I promise I'll do better." The sound of Chloe singing flooded my memory. "You're my home." Chloe added before kissing my cheek. "Umm- on a less serious note." She said as she twisted her long thick curls into a messy bun. "I invited a few people over for dinner and drinks." Her eyes glistened in the soft bedroom lighting. "I hope that's okay." Chloe was always so thoughtful. I nodded and panic rose quickly when I realized what a mess I had made of the living room unpacking this afternoon. I ran out to the space and skidded to a stop when I realized the apartment was spotless, the picture frames full of the Bellas and Chloe and I were now hung on the walls and all of our records had been neatly placed on the shelves below the record player. "You were snoring so I knew that I could be as loud as I needed. When you sleep like that you could sleep through a nuclear war or something." Her face full of love as she took my hand in her own. "Plus, it's adorable as hell when you make those cute faces as you dream." I felt my face burn with a deep blush.

"You're such a weirdo." I laughed loudly and leaned in to kiss her. My attention quickly pulled away at the sound of the door swinging open.

"Stacie! You can't just barge in like that What if they were getting nasty on the couch or something?" Cynthia whined as her wife pulled her into the open room, Cynthia covering her own eyes with her free hand.

"It's not like I haven't seen Chloe's bare ass before. Or Beca's boobs for that matter. How many times did ALL the Bellas walk in on them? And in the most disturbing places." Chloe beamed as Stacie spoke, my blush growing darker and Cynthia just shaking her head trying to clear the images out of her head. "Remember that one time that all of us went to that movie festival at Barden and we came back to the house to find Chloe laying on the island in the middle of the kitchen and Beca was face first between her legs? Oh! Beca I wish I could have caught your face on camera." My mouth dropped at the blunt reality of my best friend's voice.

"Whoa, that's enough story time for tonight! Who wants a beer?" CR changed the subject to my relief. I rushed into the kitchen and pulled a few bottles out. "I brought cards. Where is everyone?" She looked around the otherwise empty apartment.

"Posen and Swanson were leaving the store a few minutes ago. Something about picking up food since I guess Aubrey thinks that none of us realize that a liquid diet isn't healthy." Stacie offered. "Who else did you invite?" She looked to Chloe now.

"Ashley and Jessica. They'll be here shortly." She pulled her phone from her pocket and swiped the screen open. "Allison and Kelsie are walking up the stairs now and Amy and Bumper can't make it but they said they'll be over for the next one." As she finished her sentence the door flew open and all of the missing friends walked in together.

"Does anyone not care about privacy around here?!" CR threw her hands in the air dramatically. Stacie leaned in to whisper something to Chloe who burst out laughing so hard her eyes teared up. "You didn't just say what I think you did!" CR shot a menacing glare at her lovely wife who just shrugged in return. Everyone greeted each other with hugs and cheek kissing. Even though I knew each and every one in this room on a very personal level I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Allison and Kelsie were completely entranced in telling a story about some surfing expidition they went on and I took the chance to sneak away. Silently closing the door the bedroom behind me I sat on the edge of the bed focused on nothing but my ragged breathing. I didn't hear the door open or close again.

"Hey Mitchell. Are you okay?" The tall blonde sat next to me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. I almost laughed as I thought about my first year at Barden and how Aubrey Posen had seemed to make it her life mission to ruin mine. I stared at the ring on my hand and counted to ten in my head before responding. If Chloe trusted Aubrey with her life I know I could also, besides the woman didn't give up on me and she sure didn't walk out when everything blew up all those months ago.

"I'm just a little overwhelmed. I know you all. You're more of a family to me than you could ever realize. Stacie is my best friend; Jesse is pretty up there also. I've known Allison since I was fifteen and you wouldn't believe the debt I owe her metaphorically speaking. Kelsie has been around almost as long. Jessica and Ashley are like those annoying clingy little sisters and Cynthia is well… Cynthia. Then there's Chloe. She's my everything. And I have you." I looked sideways at the blonde who understood what I was trying to say without forcing me to actually say the words. I appreciated that more than I think she knew. "I remember it all." I smiled slightly because it felt good to no longer live in completely confusion on what thoughts were real and not.

"We all love you. Remember that, even if it's in our own stupid ways. We also understand and we don't want to make the night stressful. Just have some fun and relax. No pressure from anyone." Her words were kind and I leaned into her as a way to say thank you. "Okay aca-bitch enough of the mush. Let's go." She stood grinning ear from ear and I couldn't fight back a small smile as I followed her to the group. Which had now made a circle in the living room around a bottle of whiskey. Everyone turned to me expectantly as I sat beside Chloe. Her eyes shifted quickly from me to the yellow cup on the table. My eyes narrowed as I looked at each face in the group.

"No." I said flatly. Everyone seemed displeased before Chloe slid off the arm of the chair into my lap.

"Maybe if we get her to drink enough." She offered the thought playfully and the conversation turned into an argument about what card game to play.

"I think Beca has some news to tell everyone. Well, I guess to tell half of us." Chloe chimed a few hours into the gathering. Everyone seemed to be pleasantly drunk and full of munchies at this point in time and all of my nerves had banished completely. I smiled widely with pride and love filled my chest with the support my girlfriend seemed to radite.

"So, first and fore most. The radio station is expanding and becoming a record label/production office." I paused for a moment and grinned at Jesse who was staring excitedly. "Meet the new finance cordinater." I pointed in his direction. Gaining gasps and awes from the group. "We're flying out to LA soon to pitch an idea to one of our investors. Not only are we going to be showing him plans for the new place but also getting his approval to host the music festival at the end of summer." I smiled again feeling satisfied.

"Beca! Tell them the rest." Jesse shouted drunkenly in my direction. "It's the best part." He whispered too loud in Aubrey's ear.

"While I'm there, I'm going to be announcing the charity that my family is opening. For research and treatment causes for those who have suffered brain trauma and memory loss. I'm hoping that it will be a great place to gain some respectable donations and launch something that can help people in need. Not just the victims but also the other people it affects." I turned to face Chloe and gauge her reaction which seemed to be a mix between excitement and utter love. "It will help those around the victims by providing therapy and other resources on how to handle the situation in a healthy and correct manner." I choked on the last sentence as it came out but took a big gulp of the beer in my hand to hide the moment. "Jesse, Aubrey, Stacie and Cynthia Rose will be coming with Chloe and I for a few days to experience it all with us because if it wasn't for them I don't know where I'd be right now. Actually if it wasn't for all of you." I corrected myself quickly, my voice ringing with pure honesty.

"To Beca!" Jessica shouted practically tripping over Ashley's leg as she jumped up thrusting her beer in the air. The whole group shouted eagerly in response. I smiled as Aubrey's eyes locked on mine. Remembering her words from earlier that night.

"No I think we need to toast to Chloe Beale. If it wasn't for her I would have never joined the Bellas or the world of acapella and I would never have been given the chance to meet any of you nerds." Chloe leaned into me and kissed my cheek. "This is just the beginning." I whispered to the redhead, fully believing it in my heart yet still so unaware what that statement meant.


	9. Caddy Shack

"BECA SKYLAR MITCHELL!" Chloe's shrill of a voice came booming through my thoughts as the bathroom door swung open with a loud thud. She tore the shower curtain open and I stood there with my mouth ajar. Chloe's arms were waving around frantically as she yelled. "Are you going to get ready?! We have to leave in less than an hour and you've been standing here for like twenty minutes! You always do this! You wait until last minute to pack and then you get stressed out and moody then I have to deal with it and try to make you feel better which is totes aca-awful and practically impossible!" She reached out and shut the water off and I had to chomp down on the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling as the thought of the first time she barged into my shower crossed my mind. Her arms now folded tightly against her chest she was tapping her foot impatiently waiting for a response. I raised an eyebrow before reaching out to grab a towel to wrap around my body. She followed me as I walked into our bedroom and yanked open the closet removing a duffle bag, back pack and my golf bag. Turning around with all of them wrapped up in my arms, I dropped them at her feet.

"Look, all done." I gave her my signature smirk and watched as her eyes softened and she tried not to laugh. "Will you relax? You're acting like some kind of manager instead of my girlfriend. This weekend isn't going to be as bad as you think." I rubbed the back of her arms and pulled her closer. "It might actually even be fun, if you just enjoy yourself." I kissed her cheek and then her ear lobe. "See." I smiled into her neck taking my time on her pulse point.

"Oh." Her voice was practically a moan as I continued down to her collar bone. My hand slowly slipping under the top of her pants line. A loud bang come from the front door and Chloe shoved me away before shooting me a death glare and running towards the living room. "Get dressed and get your makeup on. You've got thirty minutes." She was panting and I could tell by the look on her face that she was upset that our moment was cut so brief. I smiled to myself as I shut the bedroom door behind her and did as I was told. "Stacie! I'm so excited to spend a week with you and the girls. I feel like after the last year this is much needed." I could hear Chloe talking through the door and sighed at the thought of how hectic this year had been, knowing I could only imagine how hard it was for the rest of the woman. Tears assaulted my eyes and I sat back down to fix my mascara. Resting my face in my palms as I took a few ragged breaths. "Beca?" Chloe's voice pulled me back to reality and I forced a small smile as I turned to see the flawless redhead peeking around the door. "Can I come in?" She asked respectfully and I nodded once in response.

"I love you." I let the words hang in the air as I stared in her deep blue pools. "I'm sorry, for everything I've put you through Chloe Beale. I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you and I have no idea to make that up to you." My voice hitched at the end of my sentence and Chloe shook her head violently.

"Stop it. I love you. I'll love you for the rest of eternity. I believe in you. You belong with me. As Stacie and Cynthia say, we're Bechloe." Chloe chuckled softly and I took note at how amazing that sounded vibrating off the bedroom walls. "Come on! It's time to go!" All seriousness slipped from the older woman's face and was replaced with excitement. I followed her to the door but when she reached for the nob, I spun her around to face me. Slamming her into the door much harder then I intended, gaining a small huff at impact from Chloe. "Fuck." Chloe muttered into my mouth before kissing me hard. When we broke for air I could feel Chloe's entire body begging for mine. "Beca…" She whined softly as her hands twisted into my hair. Suddenly she shook her head again, as if it cleared the beyond inappropriate thoughts from her mind and opened the door. The small group standing in the kitchen chatting took inventory of our appearances. Chloe desperately trying to stop panting and I was straightening out my shirt and fixing my hair.

"Really?" Aubrey asked impatiently. I just winked at her, causing her to throw her hands up in defeat as a response. Chloe snickered into my shoulder as I grabbed our bags. "This is going to be a long trip." Aubrey grumbled as we all made our way down stairs to Jesse's Suburban.

"Becs I can get my bags." Chloe whispered as we walked down the bright corridor.

"Ms. Beale, you will not!" I shouted theatrically. "This trip is about you hun. I have a few events to attend. Which I would love if you would join me for. Other than that, wherever you want to go or whatever you want to do. You got it. You deserve that. And that means not carrying your bags!" I explained to her softly as we continued walking to the car. Chloe's eyes glinted in the sunlight and my stomach did that thing it hadn't done since the first time I met her. We drove to the airport chatting and laughing, excited for the upcoming events.

"So what's first when we get there?" Aubrey turned around in the passenger seat to face me. Adjusting her hand in Jesse's who was grinning up at me in the mirror. My thoughts wandered back to the blonde the year I met her, knowing now why she was so uptight and hard on me back then. I smiled wider as I realized that I was thankful that the blonde was now in my corner and always had my back. I'd never admit that out loud though.

"We're playing golf at some country club for a few hours, followed by a dinner and then back to the apartment for a big mansion party at the producer's place." I grinned while looking at Chloe as she spoke.

"Hell yes!" Cynthia shouted causing me to practically jump out of my own skin. When I glared at her she just dropped her gaze and mumbled. "I really like golf." Stacie groaned at the confession and nodded.

"I don't know how to play so she never goes anymore." Stacie admitted. Chloe and Aubrey mumbled something about not knowing how to play ethier. Jesse laughed his goofy laugh and looked at Aubrey.

"Babe, the point of the three of you going isn't for you to play. I'm not sexist. Trust me. Beca is one of the best golfers I know. But Chloe, Stacie and you are meant to be arm candy today. We aren't just playing golf to pass time. We're meeting with this producer guy. Golf is a way to watch and feel out people without having to sit and have dinner or trade awkward family stories. If we show up with beautiful women and great friends. It says a lot about our character. Plus, the fact that we're dating the three smartest women at Barden makes it even better. Most women don't have beauty and brains. Usually it's one or the other." I was trying to gauge Chloe's reactions to the man's words but she didn't seem offended.

"Yeah why do you think I acted like a bimbo my freshman year?" Stacie chimed in. "I didn't want to scare everyone away having breasts like this and being a bio chem major." Cynthia laughed loudly. Aubrey started to protest in that feminist way that she always does when Chloe spoke next.

"Challenge accepted." Her voice rang, Aubrey stared at her in shock. "Normally I'm not one for standing around and pretending to be someone's trophy." Chloe made eye contact with me as a warning. "But if I don't claim my territory now, someone may get the wrong impression later down the road about Beca's relationship status. And that would get ugly on my part really quick. So a little Beale charm this week won't hurt anymore." Chloe winked at me and I could feel the temperature in the car rise by a few degrees. We made our way through the parking lot and airport quickly, loading onto the private jet. Greeted by the sweetest stewardess. We all sat facing each other Cynthia and Stacie sitting across from each other on the other side of the walk way. While Chloe sat next to me, facing Aubrey and Jess was across from me. I pulled my laptop out and pulled up a few mixing programs. "Can I watch?" Chloe muttered as she shifted to get comfortable. I smiled to myself before nodding. About an hour after we took off I shut down my computer and made small talk with Jesse.

"What do we wear to this golf thing?" Stacie asked randomly, filing her nails absentmindedly. Cynthia laughed quietly.

"Well Beca, Jesse and I have to wear golf clothes but you ladies will want to wear a dress or really nice outfit." Cynthia answered her wife seriously. "Did you bring that little purple dress?" She asked raising her eyebrow. Stacie thought deeply for a moment before a wide smile made its way to her beautiful face. "Yes, THAT dress." Cynthia was laughing now. Stacie nodded and smiled even wider, if that was possible. "Wear that." Cynthia said coolly.

"You brought the yellow dress right?" Jesse asked Aubrey who nodded still trying to figure out what dress Stacie and Cynthia were referring to.

"Oh yes! That'll look great with that one shirt you packed. And those pants." Aubrey winked, her attention fully on her boyfriend now. I groaned when I realized that they were all color coordinating and Chloe and I hadn't packed together.

"We're going to have to stop at Anne Marie's before we go out to the country club." I mumbled knowing that it would be much easier to buy me golf clothes that matched Chloe's outfit but it would be more fun for Chloe to get a new dress. "It's this little dress shop tucked away just up the road from the hotel. You'll love it." Chloe smiled but then frowned.

"I don't need another dress Beca." She admitted sadly. I leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"Please, just do this one little thing for me. It'll be fun." I pleaded. Chloe raised an eyebrow knowing how much I couldn't stand shopping. Especially not when the three friends were all involved at once. I just grinned lazily.

When we landed we all rushed off the plane and to get our bags excitedly. I turned around when Jesse tapped my shoulder, pointing at a man in a black suit holding a sign with my name on it. "What?"

"I told you, all expenses paid. VIP." I walked towards the man who smiled softly and introduced himself as William. "It's great to meet you." I beamed as I shook the man's hand. He then proceeded to try and carry our bags to the car. I quickly protested, looking up to see a limousine parked out front. "William, I understand it's your job to basically wait on us but we can get our bags. We just appreciate you driving us." He smiled widely at the kind words and nodded. "I do have a favor to ask, before you drop us at the hotel can we stop by Anne Marie's?"

"That's the little dress shop right?" He asked in a deep voice. I nodded as Chloe slipped an arm around my waist and extended the other to William and told him her name. He smiled as he put two and two together and nodded. "Of course ma'am." We all loaded into the vehicle and Stacie quickly poured us drinks. I laughed when I realized the ladies were drinking champagne and CR, Jessie and I were all drinking scotch. I closed my eyes and let the familiar burn tingle my throat thankfully. Chloe's hand rested lightly on my thigh as she giggled and talked with Aubrey and the rest of the group. We pulled into Anne Marie's and jumped out, following an excited Chloe into the store I watched as her eyes widened in amazement. A shop attendant approached us briskly, politely smiling at us.

"Could you help the lovely Ms. Beale find something to wear for our event today." I causally asked as Chloe stood grinning at me. The shop keep nodded and drug Chloe off somewhere. I sat down feeling a small buzz coming on. I grimaced as I thought quietly out loud. "Not today Mitchell. Get your shit together. Chloe believes in you, don't fuck that up." Stacie shot me a worried look but I waved her off. Chloe returned about twenty minutes later radiating happiness. "Well let's see it Chlo." I demanded playfully.

"It's a surprise!" She squeaked, I wanted to protest but decided against it and handed her my card. She frowned for a moment.

"Stop it, go get the dress and let's all go get ready so we aren't late." I smiled before kissing Chloe's delicate hand. She turned slowly and stalked off, returning with a dress bag and pushing my card towards me. I ignored the gesture and took the dress from her, handing it to William before opening the door for our friends. Chloe waved the card in front of my face, this time causing me to shove her hand away. "Keep it for the day, I don't need it and you ladies might want to go get drinks or something. I don't know." I mumbled avoided Chloe's look of frustration. I was thankful to dodge the daggers coming from her eyes when we arrived at the hotel. I checked in, getting three sets of keys for the suite and made our way to the room. After getting our bags settled into our respected rooms, the girls began the long hair and makeup process. Cynthia Rose and I touched up our eye liner and fixed our hair real quick as Jesse came strutting out in a yellow polo and white golf pants grinning ear to ear. I shook my head. Sulking off to my shared room with Chloe attempting to decide which shirt to wear, holding a black and white plaid shirt up and a dark blue polo with lighter blue diamonds on the abdominal part.

"Go with the blue. Black makes you look smaller and angry. Blue makes you look confident and strong. Plus, it makes your eyes look even bluer." Chloe's voice rang from the doorway, I watched her walk slowly to me. Turning me around and throwing the black shirt to the bed. Taking the blue one from my hand she unbuttoned my flannel slowly, eyes locked on mine the whole time. I gulped down the desire that was building. She tore my belt off and pushed me on the bed, glancing towards the door that was cracked open slightly. My pants were soon on the floor as she kissed the insides of my thighs, causing me to groan loudly. Chloe then jumped up, covering my mouth with her hand, glaring at me as a warning to be quiet or she would stop. She kissed her way back down to my thighs and the last fully conscious thought I formed was that this was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

I fell back on the bed panting, cracking my eyelids to take in Chloe who was still sitting on her knees on the floor in front of me. She reached over and replaced my underwear, followed by the black golf pants that I had set out on the bed. I reached for her, wanting to return the favor but Chloe pushed my hand away and slipped the polo over my head. Pulling me to my feet before making sure to turn my collar down and handing me my glove. I just stared at her in confusion.

"Just reminding you who you belong to Beca Mitchell. You may be some big shot but you're mine." Chloe's eyes narrowed and the fierceness in her face made me wonder if she was feeling insecure or not. I nodded slowly. "The bigger you get, the more woman and men will be throwing themselves at you. I just wanted you to know that you belong with me." Chloe stated confidently. She pushed me towards the door. "Get going, the girls and I will meet you three there. Fashionably late. Besides we want to see the look of surprise on everyone's face when we walk up." I nodded and Chloe slapped me on the ass and winked as I hesitantly walked away, wishing to repeat the scene from a few minutes ago.

I stood outside the door waiting for Jesse, my golf bag over one shoulder.

"Are you serious Chloe Beale?" Aubrey stage whispered on the other side of the door.

"Whatever Aubrey! It's totes no big deal. You're overreacting." Chloe retorted. "I'm nervous Bree. This is Beca's thing. I never got to see her in this element. The accident happened and ever since then, that part of Beca's life has been separate from me. I don't know how all this works or what kind of people we'll be around. Beca is absolutely gorgeous, compassionate and so freaking talented. I'm sure everyone's attention will be on her. I just wanted her to remember that I'm here." Chloe's voice was full of sadness and my stomach turned.

"If she can't remember that you're here, after everything the two have been through then she doesn't deserve you Chloe." Silence followed Aubrey's statement as the door swung wide open and I turned to walk down the hall with CR and Jesse hot on my heels.

As we pulled down the long road to the country club Jesse spoke softly, "I know you're going to hate me. Just don't freak out. So this producer, he's obviously funding our expansion and everything. You and Chloe were split up when I talked to him so… He thinks you're single. I think you might be inviting some women out to hook you up with." My eyes widened and my stomach twisted in anger as I instinctivly reached out and slapped him on the back of the head.

"You. Are. An. Idiot." I hissed through clenched teeth as I tripped out of the car. "Seriously dude? I can't believe you." I rolled my eyes and turned to grab my bag, a girl my size grabbed it before I could. Realizing she was country club staff I reached in my wallet and pulled out a ten dollar bill. Handing it to her and taking a few steps away before rotating slowly on my heels and facing her. Pulling out a twenty this time. "Hi, I'm Beca." I said shaking her hand, a wide smile crossed her face.

"I'm Hannah." She shook my hand professionally.

"Hannah, what do you want to be when you grow up?" I asked trying not to sound awkward, she thought deeply for a moment before laughing.

"I guess I want to teach dance or history." She responded. "I've been in dance classes since I was like three. I don't think I could live without it. If that even makes sense." She sighed as her face began to blush.

"I'm the same way with music. Just remember that the only person who will get in the way of your dreams is yourself. Here." I handed the bill to her. "So, I have a favor to ask. There's going to be a group of three lovely young women rolling in here pretty soon. All tall. All flawless. There's a blonde who might look like she's a little uptight. She's actually really sweet. I need you to make sure she gets a shot of vodka and a raspberry vodka lemonade before she comes out to the course. There's also a brunnette with huge…" I trailed off and grabbed my boobs, winking at the same time. Causing the little caddy to burst out laughing. "She's going to want a screwdriver and a shot of vodka. And then the redhead." I inhaled deeply, my grin growing even larger. "She's super important. She needs a shot of tequila. Give her this note. And make sure she gets a long island iced tea." Hannah looked at the piece of paper and looked back at me questioningly. "Can you do that?" She nodded and jogged off towards the outside bar, putting in my order. She saluted me as I loaded my bag onto the cart and laughed.

"Here we go." Cynthia smiled trying to calm my nerves as she sat on the cart next to mine. "I'll go check in." She wandered off towards the golf shop and I couldn't help but glancing back towards the parking lot every few moments. "They'll be here short stack. How many times did we have to wait in college for those women to get ready?" I tried to fight back the hearty chuckle that was in my throat but wasn't successful.

"Ms. Mitchell?" A booming voice beamed from behind me, causing me to spin around quickly. A tall man with blonde hair and black rimmed glasses stood staring in admiration. He couldn't have been over thirty two. He offered his hand and I took it confidently. "I'm Riley Wilson." I nodded and he glanced over my shoulder at my friends. I cleared my throat offering a large grin.

"This is one of my dearest friends Cynthia Rose. And you've spoke to my assistant, well soon to be manager Jesse Swanson." I motioned to the woman standing just behind me who took Mr. Wilson's hand firmly. Jesse did the same with that stupid goofy grin on his face.

"Mr. Swanson I thought you were bringing your old lady?" Riley shout out teasingly.

"You know women, always fashionably late. She'll be here, along with Stacie and Chloe at any moment." Jesse offered. "I love those girls but when you get them together it's such a long process." I knew Jesse was just joking but for some reason this rubbed me the wrong way.

"Well come with me, let's grab some drinks and head off to the driving range we have about an hour and a half until tee time." Riley gestured towards the building and took the way. I looked back at Hannah who smiled and winked at me. Confident that she was going to hold through on our deal I followed the man quickly. "How was the flight?" He asked completely focused on me, which made me squirm a little internally. I rambled about how it was great and the drinks were even better. "William is treating you right?" His eyes filled with concern, I laughed in his face practically at the thought of William being anything but sweet. I put my hand up as an apology.

"Please excuse me that was rude. William is such a sweetie. Practically a saint if you ask me." I offered a more appropriate response. Cynthia added something in about why William was so great.

"Okay good, he's one of our newest employees but I see wonderful potential in the young man." He leaned against the bar and ordered his drink. "Get whatever you'd like, remember everything from here on out is on me until you guys head home." He grinned almost seductively but I brushed off the thought.

"I'll have a double whiskey and coke." I mumbled to the bartender who then eyed Jesse who nodded.

"Make that three." Cynthia practically sang from two stools down.

"Top shelf." Riley pointed and raised an eyebrow in the bartender's direction. We took our drinks and followed Riley up the hill to the driving range. Setting up next to Jesse as Riley and Cynthia sat on the couch directly behind us. We hit a few balls before switching off with the other two in the group. I was about to hit a ball from my tee when my phone vibrated, I pulled it out and read the text with a grin.

 _"_ _Can't stop thinking about you. Xoxo"_ Was the caption that was typed below a picture of Chloe in black lingerie, her hand pushed down into her underwear. A mocked look of surprise on her face. I shoved my phone away and lined up my shot, closing my eyes briefly to regain my control. We continued this pattern, ordering down for two or three more drinks each for the next hour. I was leaning against my club explaining the technique I used for my back swing to Riley when I heard another cart pull up.

"Ms. Beca?" Hannah's voice rang excitedly. I turned and lifted my hands in the air. "I just wanted to let you know that the women you told me about are here." Her eyes widened as she spoke. "They are flawless. I see what you meant when you described them all. Especially the brunette." Cynthia cocked her head and I laughed at the confused expression on her face. "I sent them inside for their drinks and gave Ms. Beale the note." I nodded and reached for my wallet. Pulling out another twenty. "No. You've given me enough money today ma'am." I said.

"Hannah, if you want to dance. You need money for the proper attire and equipment. Please take it." I smiled and offered it again. She took it reluctantly and made eye contact with me, her expression thankful. "Send them up here when they finish." She nodded and drove off. "Do you have any leeway on the employees here?" I asked with a grim expression on my face.

"Of course, I own this club. Why did she do something wrong?" His eyes narrowed for a moment before I shook my head.

"Quite the opposite actually. She's a sweet and brilliant girl. I can tell she's struggling. Maybe just toss her a bonus or a raise or something." I offered kind of shyly.

"Hmm. I'll get on that. She's been with us for two years now. Never had a complaint about or from her. How do you know she's struggling?" He asked.

"She felt awkward taking my money. Her shoes are completely worn out and she looks at the ground a lot. She's such a sweet girl though." I smiled at the thought of Hannah achieving her dreams. He nodded taking a mental note to pay more attention to the small blonde girl next time she was around. "Anyways, when you come back my sure not to twist that elbow so far in on the swing through." I went back to coaching Riley on his swing and stepped back watching the drastically improved drive. "Very nice. Next time close your stance by an inch or so and keep your back straighter." I added thoughtfully. He grinned and nodded thankful. Just then a girl with dark brown eyes and blonde hair strutted up with two brunettes and a girl with black hair just behind her.

"Riley darling!" The woman kissed either side of his cheek in greeting, as did all of her minons.

"Kara, Holly, Katy and Gina. This is Beca Mitchell and her friends Jesse Swanson and Cynthia Rose." Riley intorduced us casually. Not seeming to be phased by the attractive women who now sat down and were chatting casually. I took a gulp of my drink feeling awkward as Gina's eyes scanned my body.

"Mr. Wilson, can we get a bottle up here?" I asked trying to sound as cool as possible.

"We'll get two and a cooler of coke for you." He pulled out his phone an called down to the bar. Jesse eyed me suspiciously as I chugged the rest of my drink. Sulking of towards my spot on the range. Hitting a few balls only stopping when I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. I jumped away when I realized it was Gina.

"So you're the big shot music producer huh?" Her voice was deep and seductive but I tried not to visually cringe at the thought of the woman coming on to me. "What cat got your tongue?" I just blinked not sure how to respond without coming off as completely rude. She glanced down at my hand, eyes taking in the silver band on my ring finger. "What are you doing here all alone stud? What is a girl like you doing without a girl on your arm?" She asked more serious this time.

"Beca honey, sorry I'm late!" I heard Chloe's angelic voice sing from behind me. Spinning around to rest my tired eyes on the beauty that was Chloe Beale. Her hair fell in perfect curls around her face, spilling over her shoulders. Her makeup was a little darker than normal but it highlighted her already unbelievably blue eyes and my eyes hesitated on her lips wanting nothing more than for her to kiss me right now. She was wearing a blue dress that matched perfectly with my shirt, it hugged her in all the right places. Causing me to shift awkwardly at how seriously perfect she looked. She wore matching black heals that made her just a bit taller which was okay because my golf shoes pretty much evened us out. Her ring had been placed back on her finger, which surprised me a little because even after we got to the hotel she insisted on not wearing it because she didn't want to confuse our friends. The familiar necklace on her neck made my heart melt a little as I stood there. Chloe gracefully strode over to me with a dark drink in her hand. She stopped just in front of me, taking in the look of pure love in my eyes and froze for a moment. "Hi." She whispered innocently.

"Hey." I mumbled back. She leaned in and kissed me deeply before pulling away and placing her hand on my cheek. "You look so beautiful Chloe." Was all that I could muster, she giggled in response. Raising an eyebrow as she side glanced at Gina next to me. I blushed slightly and bit my lip.

"You look very handsome yourself darling." She handed me the drink and linked my arm with hers. Pulling me away slowly towards the group, every eye staring at the perfect being draped over my arm. "If you touch her, I kill you." She breathed in my ear. Although I knew I should be horrified, the change in Chloe's demeaned turned me on a lot more than I wanted to admit.

"Riley, this is the lovely Chloe Beale." I smiled proudly as I introduced her. Riley's jaw was slightly ajar as he stared in awe. Growing a little uncomfortable with the ogling I quickly added. "The beautiful Aubrey Posen. And Cynthia's wonderful wife and my best friend Stacie Conrad would be that banging brunette over there." I pointed to Stacie who flipped me the bird.

"I need to move to wherever you guys live. Damn." Riley joked gently. Gina gasped in an offended manner. "Let's get this game going shall we?" He asked pouring out shots of whiskey for Cynthia, Jesse and I. Stacie effortlessly poured three shots of tequila and pulled limes from the cooler for her and Bree and Chloe. Leaving the other girls to fend for themselves. "Umm, to a great week full of adventures, investments and maybe a little excitement." Riley spoke, his eyes falling on Chloe as he finished. I shifted and tried to push the frustration down. Chloe sensed my discomfort and slipped her hand into my back pocket, leaning into me so I could toss my arm around her shoulder. She smiled happily at Riley, ignoring that the last piece of his statement was directed at her. We took the shots together, my eyes falling on Gina who was full on glaring as she whispered something to Kara or maybe it was Holly. I couldn't remember. The alcohol made things a little fuzzy or maybe it was how intoxicating Chloe was in that damn dress.

"Beca Mitchell." Chloe's voice pulled me back to reality. "Stop drooling." She winked as my eyes traveled down her body. "My eyes are right here." She lifted my chin so my navy eyes were locked on her own Atlantic blue eyes.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. "You're just so damn perfect." Chloe smiled, fully appreciating the sincerity of my words. My eyes traveled off to Stacie who was sitting with her legs crossed on Cynthia's lap. Aubrey was leaning into Jesse who was standing behind her laughing with his arms tucked safely around her waist. Chloe turned her back to the group before her expression grew grim.

"I'm warning you the Beale charm is in full swing today." I nodded as she stated the obvious. Her sweet home southern charm had been there since the moment she arrived. I blushed at the fact that she had been using names of endearment which wasn't typically how we operated. There was an edge of intensity to her charm tonight though and it wasn't going unnoticed by Beca or even Stacie for that matter. Who was secretly watching from the sidelines, secretly aroused by the redhead's games. "If that blonde doesn't keep her hands to herself I swear I-"

"Chloe." I interrupted pausing before softly adding. "Darling." With a teasing grin. "I'm fully committed to you and only you. You're my home remember?" Chloe's expression changed slowly as she nodded. "Now let's turn up the Bechloe charm and do this thing together?" I offered her my hand and waited for her to take and turn before slapping her on the ass playfully. She shot me a playful look but continued walking. "Let's play some golf." I announced excitedly to the group. The carts fit groups of four on them so Chloe and I paired with Gina and Riley. Chloe twisted her fingers in mine as she thoughtfully stared off looking at the course off to her right. I hopped off the cart and grabbed my driver following Riley out onto the grass to set up for tee off. We all teed off pretty successfully, occasionally I glanced back at the girls who were chatting on the carts and shot Chloe an apologetic glance knowing how quickly they'd all get bored. When Stacie tried to pass Chloe a bottle of vodka secretly I shot her a look, gaining a shrug and wink in return. In a lot of ways Stacie Conrad had changed since our time at Barden together, then again in a lot of ways she hadn't and I wasn't so sure she ever would. I watched as Chloe took a long pull. Suspicion rose in my chest when I caught Gina smirking at Chloe from the other cart full of her minions.

"This is going to be a long night." Cynthia muttered next to me, causing me to yelp quietly. She stared at Gina with irritation and looked at her wife with disbelief. "Stacie freaking Conrad." She took a step to stop the girls from drinking and I placed a hand on her shoulder, shaking my head in amusement.

"This is going to be a long and boring day for them. We talk business and golf and they sit there and look pretty. Let them enjoy the small perks okay?" Cynthia nodded after a moment and chuckled. We casually chatted through the front nine holes. My buzz was building as I steadily continued to drink, between the shots I snuck and the way Chloe brought me a new drink dutifully each time I finished mine. I wasn't sure I'd make it through dinner tonight without making an complete fool out of myself. As if she could read my mind a bottle of water appeared right in front of my face.

"Drink a couple of these please." Chloe wasn't demanding she was asking and I knew she was right. I downed the first one and she replaced it immediately with another. "Maybe switch to beer until we eat?" She added thoughtfully.

"Good idea Chlo. What would I do without you?" I smiled shielding the sun from my eyes to watch the glorious drive Cynthia just performed. I turned to Chloe who seemed like she wanted to ask me something. "What's up?"

"Umm. Tomorrow, can we go do something just us? Or will we be too busy?" The look of sadness on her face made my throat go dry. Her eyes scanning behind me in an attempt to avoid eye contact. Chloe was drunk, I could see it in the way her eyes were hazing over. I handed the unopened bottle back, grabbing her chin and kissing her softly on the mouth. Chloe was standing on a lower portion of the grass, causing her to stand on her tip toes in an attempt to get closer to my face.

"Of course we can. Do you know what you want to do?" I asked once our foreheads were pressed together. She hummed to affirm my question. "Just you and I. Will you drink that for me babe? Please?" She nodded knowing that I wasn't mad but concerned. Chloe began to walk away, sipping on the water. "Hey Chloe?" I called after her. She turned around with a confused expression. "I love you." I mouthed. She just waved me off and walked back to the cart where Stacie was sitting with her phone out. Aubrey still pulling off the bottle. "Jess, you may want to check on little miss sunshine over there." I jerked towards Aubrey, fear filling the boy's expression. "Chloe's getting drunk at this point. Posen can't hold her alcohol as well as Conrad and Beale." He nodded as a playful expression covered his features.

"Got it." He jogged off towards the woman he loved and she hugged him excitedly, he swung her around in a couple circles before setting her down. Gina and her friends rolling their eyes at the show of compassion for each other.

"So, Beca. Would you like to talk business now or wait for lunch? Don't forget we have that big dinner tonight out at the Fazio." Riley pulled me back to the present and I sighed.

"Let's do it over lunch. More relaxing and my brain function better when there's more food and less alcohol involved." I admitted jokingly.

"Thank god. I feel the same way." He said before walking off for his next stroke.

We all walked towards the country club, I winked at Hannah as we strode past. "Wanna load those three sets into the limo after giving them a quick cleaning?" Hannah nodded, I turned and pulled my wallet out again. Tossing another twenty in her direction, Jesse stopped and did the same followed by Cynthia. I smiled gratefully at the two before putting my hand on Hannah's shoulder. "Life gets better kid. I know exactly how you hurt right now." My free hand pulled Chloe over and twisted into her fingers. "She believed in me when I couldn't, I just want you to know that I believe in you." I reached into my pocket and pulled out two cards. One being Chloe's dance lesson card and the other being my business card. "Call if you ever need someone to talk to. Advice or a dancing master's opinion." Chloe giggled and nodded at the small blonde.

"You carry my business card?" Chloe asked softly as we walked away. I kissed her cheek and twisted my arm up over her shoulders as we followed the group inside.

"Yeah, you never know when an opportunity will appear in front of you. I believe in that whole heartedly." I admitted before pulling Chloe's chair out and sitting directly across from Riley who ordered a few bottles for the table and passed out menus.

* * *

 **A/N I'm sure that this chapter seems kind of irrelevant but just hang on one more chapter and it will all make sense. I promise there is a method behind my madness!**


	10. You're Mine

"Where do you see yourself in 10 years Ms. Mitchell?" Riley asked as he sipped his drink. All eyes were now focused on me as I sat there mulling over what to say. I had the answers but wasn't sure if I was ready for everyone to hear them. I smiled down at my plate before taking Chloe's hand in mine.

"I obviously want to be a music producer. Up until recently I swore I'd never get married. But I can't imagen a day in this life without this amazing woman by my side. So hopefully I can manage not to fuck this up." I kissed the back of Chloe's hand before I added another statement. "In a house we own. Happily married with maybe two or three little Chloe's running around." Stacie choked on her food and all of my friends went wide eyed at my confession. Chloe's expression was like a deer in the headlights.

"You want kids?" She asked shock still fully present in her eyes. I shrugged.

"I mean yeah. Only with you though. I'd never have kids if I was with anyone other than you. Hell I don't think I could date anyone but you." Chloe's face lit up as I spoke and she leaned over to kiss my cheek. "Besides all that mushy stuff I'd really like to make music Mr. Wilson." He nodded in response and smiled.

"Well then," He looked at Chloe and smiled. "Let's get you there. I'd like for you to work for me. We'll contract you out to work at your station for a year and then after that come out and work for me in LA." Riley's voice was even. Chloe gasped while Stacie choked on her food again. "Just think about it. I'll spare the boring details for when there's less company but my offer is on the table." He grinned, I saw Gina still glaring at Chloe out of the side of my eye causing me to smirk.

"Oh my god." Chloe squeaked as she squeezed my hand. Aubrey threw her a menacing glare that I'm sure I was the only one to catch and Chloe straightened her shoulders out. Going back into the cool and confident Chloe Beale she had been since the hotel. "Congrats darling. I'm so happy for you." She said with a sparkle in her eyes. I leaned over so my lips where just inches from her ear.

"For us, Chloe." I whispered, visibly causing her to shiver. "So, enough business for now. What's next on the agenda?" I turned to Riley with a serious expression.

"Well first off we have some free time for a couple hours. Then we have that boring black tie event. After that we'll go to my brother's club and have some fun. If you guys are up to it that is. I know you've had a long day with the flight and everything." He sipped his drink again, casually eyeing everyone in the group.

"I'm in!" Stacie chimed clutching Cynthia's forearm, who nodded in return. "This is going to be so much fun!" Stacie beamed at the group.

"We're totally down." Jesse said after glancing at his blonde girlfriend who was noticeably less intoxicated at this point.

"Well, Ms. Beale what do you say?" I asked while searching Chloe's eyes. She looked like she was tired and I was fully prepared to go back to the hotel and get some much needed rest. Just as she opened her mouth to answer she locked eyes with something that made her close it quickly.

"Okay, I'm ready to get down." Her blue eyes darted to mine and she smiled shyly. Remember what going to a club with Chloe was like kind of made me begin to blush. I pushed the thought away. "Will you dance with me tonight?" She smirked into my ear. I tried to keep an even voice but a lump had suddenly appeared in my throat.

"Mhmm." Was all I could manage before I heard Chloe giggle softly. We finished dinner and had another drink before heading to the hotel to get ready for the night ahead. This time the group took their time getting ready, the girls didn't take quite as long because they pretty much just fixed their makeup and changed the style of their hair a little. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I growled in utter frustration. Chloe peeked her head around the corner and sighed at the sight of me wresting with a bowtie.

"Why don't you were a dress Becs?" She asked before maneuvering the small black tie into a perfect bow. I frowned at how easy she made it look. Frowning again at the missing ring on her finger. "Like I said earlier, I just don't want them getting confused." When I felt my face fall a little she placed a soft hand on my cheek, pulling my eyes up to meet hers. "Do you really want all the things you said you did at lunch? Or was it all just for an image?" Chloe sounded hurt as the question left her mouth. Sadness drained into her brilliant blue eyes and my stomach knotted.

"I want it all. I want you for the rest of my life. I want little blue eyed red headed Chloe babies running around the house, drawing on the walls, banging on pots and pans. I want to be domesticated but only with you Chloe Beale." I admitted softly.

"You know every day your little badass persona disappears more and more." Chloe giggled before I closed the distance between our lips. Grumbling quietly when she pulled away for air. "Well, you got the job offer." She beamed. "Let's play this up a notch and nail in the week with an unbeatable story." The glint in her eye made me chuckle, Chloe Beale had an idea and this was going to be a long week.

"Chloe?" Stacie knocked on the door softly before pushing it open. "I didn't bring any earrings." The frown on her face made me laugh, causing Chloe to shove me playfully.

"Beca Skylar, leave her alone." Chloe warned, going into mama bear mode. "Come here sweetie, let's see what we can find you." She pulled Stacie into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. I sulked off to the living area and plopped down on the couch.

"Where's Chloe?" Aubrey asked frantically trying to zip her dress and running into the room. I motioned for her to come over to me and zipped her dress for her.

"She's in the bathroom with Stacie." I answered for her. "You look great Aubs." I added for good measure. Knowing that even if she doesn't show it, she can be extremely insecure. She smiled gratefully and ran off towards the bathroom the women were in. "Don't you look snazzy!" I joked as Jesse came out in slack and a white button down shirt, fumbling with the cuffs and suspenders. "Here." I fixed his cuffs and flipped his collar down. He then flung his vest on and tossed his jacket over the back of the couch. Cynthia came out in a woman's power suit, owning it as she strutted across the room.

"For a bunch of homely aca-people we sure do clean up nice." She sang before elbowing me. We sat in comfortable silence for a moment. "Beca?" She asked softly while playing with her hands. I hummed in response signaling for her to go on. "I- umm- do you really want to marry Chloe?" Her eyes slowly traveled to me as the silence began to grow heavy.

"If I don't marry Chloe, I failed my entire life." I whispered barely loud enough for them to hear. "I'm in love with Chloe Beale and if I don't spend the rest of my life with her, then I don't want it. What's the point of all this?" I motion around us with my arms. "The money, the music and all the hard work. What's the point if at the end of the day I don't climb into bed with Chloe waiting for me?" Cynthia nodded slowly.

"I understand completely. I wanted to work out here in LA also. Writing songs and working in the financial office for some kind of music company. Stacie's mom turned the bar down after the divorce so it fell to her grandparents. When they passed away Stacie inherited it. At first it caused a lot of fights because Stacie should have used her degree and gone into the medical field but that place has been in her family for about four generations and she didn't want it to get shut down. No one else wanted it so she stepped up. I know for a fact that she doesn't want to spend her life bar tending. She's good at is sure." Cynthia paused and shrugged. "I made a vow, I wouldn't trade a single thing in my life for something different. Like I said, maybe I'm not living the life I had always planned. But what's the point if she isn't there beside me every day?" Cynthia's words laid heavy on my heart before a scream from the bathroom caused us all to jump up and sprint into the room where the girls were.

"What's going on?!" Jesse shouted over my shoulder.

"I dropped my ring." Chloe's eyes were filled with tears as she stared at the sink drain.

"What?" Anger funneled into my chest.

"It was sitting next to the sink because I was washing my hands. The curling iron got pushed over and bumped it." She was choking back a sob and I pulled her towards me. Wrapping my arms around her waist.

"No big deal." I mumbled knowing it really wasn't. It was replaceable.

"No! It was our ENGAGMENT ring Beca!" Chloe pulled back with an offended facial expression and I understood right then that the ring was the most important object Chloe owned. It was there through every step of the last three years. When she was happily in love, when she was broken and alone, while she was physically broken and then emotionally broken. It was there when I came back and now she thought it was gone.

"Take this thing off." I motioned to the bowtie and Chloe raised an eyebrow trying not to sniffle. "Get it off Chlo." She did as she was told and I pulled my shirt off.

"Beca what the actual fuck?" Aubrey shouted shielding Jesse's eyes. Cynthia laughed loudly at Aubrey's response.

"Damn Mitchell. I forgot how good you look without a shirt on." Stacie hummed in approval.

"Excuse me?" Chloe turned to her with a look of surprise. "When did you- never mind. I'm not sure I want to know the answer to that." Chloe sighed. Stacie just winked, I crawled under the sink and wiggled to get in a good position.

"Jesse or someone who isn't offended by my semi naked body. Will you get ma a hand towel?" I asked from under the sink. Sighing at the cramped angle of my neck as a towel passed through the cabinet door. I clamped my hand over the towel attempting to twist the piping apart. "Shit." I muttered before using the edge of the cupboard opening as a foothold. "Yes!" I exclaimed before crawling out. "Dude, that's disgusting." I frowned into the gunk in the pipe. Pulling the ring out, I set it on the counter and looked at Chloe with a smile before scrambling back and reattaching everything. "No big deal." I stated again before washing my hands. I washed the ring gently and handed it back to a crying Chloe. I shrugged my shirt back on and blushed remember I needed her to tie the stupid bow again. "Chloe?" She eyed me before hysterically laughing at my facial expression. When she regained herself she tied the tie and kissed me quickly.

"I'm sorry I panicked." She was watching the ring she was spinning on her finger.

"Don't apologize I get it. It's been your anchor." A small smile spread on my face as Chloe nodded. "I love you. Now get ready." I sulked off the living area again. Where Aubrey was adjusting Jesse's collar and Cynthia was clasping Stacie's necklace.

"Shorty if you don't marry that girl I'm going to have to kill you." Stacie teased without looking away from her hair in the mirror. Aubrey hummed in agreement. I just glanced at Cynthia and Jesse and they both shrugged.

"Sorry smalls but if my wife does something I have to support her." Cynthia grinned at me. I heard the clicking of Chloe's heels and spun around, once again awestruck by her beauty. Her hair was pulled back in a curly bun, pieces sticking out here and there. Knowing fully well everything was pinned back strategically. Her makeup was dark again which I really didn't mind at all, her eyes twinkling brighter than ever. She wore a black dress that hugged her perfectly and a pair of silver heels. Long dangling diamond earrings and the silver necklace I gave her in their places. Her ring was back on her finger and she swayed her hips with a sense of confidence I'd never seen before. I stood fumbling for words.

"Damn!" Stacie finally shouted. "I take it back, if you don't marry her then I will." Cynthia grunted but chuckled after.

"I'd let you." CR added as Chloe glided right up to me.

"Hey stranger." She smirked flipping my collar down over my vest, picking up my jacket and making all the appropriate adjustments. "Shit hang on." She mumbled as she walked back to the bedroom. "I called down and had William grab this for me so you wouldn't get suspicious with me gone. But here." She offered me a box containing a beautiful black watch.

"Shit Chloe. Wow." I was speechless as I clamped it to my wrist.

"You deserve it babe." A chill went down my spine at the sound of the last word leaving her mouth. She leaned in and kissed my cheek. "Do we have to go to this dinner? I could think of a million other things we could do. One specifically." I choked down a gasp as I tried not to grab her right there in front of everyone. Stacie shot me a look and giggled.

"What's so funny?" Cynthia whispered a little too loud. I glanced down at my watch and decided it would be better to quit while I was ahead.

"Come on let's go." I mumbled and watched everyone fill out of the hotel. Grabbing Jesse by the arm to whisper something to him, he grinned deviously and nodded. "That stays between you and I, got it Swanson?" I threatened with a new heir of seriousness. He nodded once knowing I meant it. We walked out to the waiting limo in silence and slid inside. Chloe twisting her fingers in mine. I looked over and watched as she silently stared out the window while absently drawing shapes on the back of my hand. We slowed to a stop about a half hour later, I glanced out the window at the crowed of photographers and gulped.

"Baby, just turn up the Mitchell-Beale charm. We'll be the hottest damn couple here." Chloe reassured me quietly. I looked at the rest of the group, everyone helping each other get adjusted for the cameras. "Jesse you and Bree should go first because you're Beca's manager pretty much." Chloe decided as she watched panic spread across my face. Cynthia saw that Chloe needed a second to help me get myself together and slowly slid out behind them, Stacie close behind. "Becs, look at me. You got this. We got this. Together. Forever." Chloe spoke slowly and calmly as I tried to focus. "Now smile and help me out." I nodded and slid out into the bright lights, blinking once before going into auto piolt. A giant grin spreading across my face, I leaned into the limo to take Chloe's hand and help her get out. Automatically feeling calmer as Chloe flashed her signature smile. She linked arms with me as we slowly glided down the carpet, stopping once to shake someone's hand that I knew from work. "That wasn't too bad." Chloe grinned again as we got inside.

"Dude, that was awesome." Jesse grinned his stupid goofy look. Aubrey shook her head still trying to catch her breath.

"I could get used to that." Stacie and Cynthia said at the same time. I looked at Chloe who seemed genuinely excited that our friends were here. I inhaled deeply before speaking.

"Well, you may have to." The married couple looked at me in confusion. "I'm going to need a manager." I said lifting my hand up towards Jesse who bowed playfully. "Meaning the new office needs a new financial advisor and manager." I eyed Cynthia, knowing fully well that she'd agree based off our conversation from earlier. "Just think about it." I smirked my typically Beca Mitchell grin and turned back to Chloe who was entranced with what I had just said. "You've all stuck by me so far. Now it's my time to repay you for not giving up on me." I stated flatly.

"Mitchell." Riley said extending a hand, Gina clinging to his other arm. She did a once over of Chloe and tried not to frown. I laughed internally as I shook Riley's hand. "Chloe you look outstanding!" He added with excitement in his eyes. I cleared my throat and he looked at everyone. "You all clean up quite well. I like that." His eyes fell back on Chloe, jealous growing in my stomach. "Let's go get checked in and find our seats. It's going to be a long night." He grinned but it didn't reach his eyes. We chatted and then sat in silence, clapping when it was appropriate throughout the night. "You're almost up. I'll see you up there." Riley said as he walked off, leaving the table staring at me with questioning eyes. Twenty minutes passed before Riley appeared on stage.

"This ought to be good." Aubrey teased as Riley began to speak. I took in a shaky breath as his words caught my ear.

"I'll be honest I've never been good with rejection." Riley paused for a moment. "Actually I've never been rejected." He winked at the crowd getting laughter in response. "But considering that, I know the next speaker tonight has had a long and hard road. She's risen above it all and continued to chase her dreams, falling madly in love, making music and just overall living her life to what seems to me like the fullest. Her story really is inspiring. I'm not just trying to butter you up so you'll consider my offer." He winked again pointing at me this time. Everyone laughed even harder this time, I nodded with a sincere smile. "Everyone I'd like you to give a warm welcome to an up and coming DJ, music producer and social activist. Rebeca Mitchell." The crowd erupted into a round of applause. I leaned over and kissed Chloe on the cheek, stumbling a bit to get out of my seat as she stared at me with her mouth ajar. I waltzed up to the stage, shaking Riley's hand and waving to the crowd.

"Okay." I cleared my throat as the crowed grew quiet. "Thank you first off. Second off no one told me I needed to wear sunglasses up here, jeez man I thought you had my back?" I turned to Riley and winked. The audience laughed. "Anyways, before I go into why you have some hobbit sized woman in a suit standing on stage tonight. I'd like to thank Riley and his offices for supporting me and my dreams. Also for being willing to help me build my dreams by helping me fund a new production office out near Atlanta." I waited as the clapping died down again. "I'd like to thank my friend and manager Jesse for always having my back. Whether it's making sure I get to all my meetings on time, screening my phone calls so I can ignore my annoying sisters. Or getting me coffee and Advil when I swear I'm going to die from a hangover. I love you bro." Jesse stood and gave me a rock on sign. "His lovely girlfriend Aubrey. For busting my ass into shape in the world of acapella. For always keeping me in line and not putting up with my shit. For taking care of Chloe when I couldn't." She stood and smiled. "Stacie, don't let her long legs and big boobs fool you. She's probably single handedly the smartest person in this room. She's my best friend and just all around the best person to have in your corner." Stacie beamed and blew me a kiss from her seat. "Cynthia, you are a musical genius. This woman can write out a song in a matter of minutes that just rocks your soul. She's the most selfless person I've ever met and I'd like to announce her new seat at my financial manager." Cynthia nodded gratefully. "Last but most importantly. Chloe Beale." I paused, walking off the stage and grabbing her hand and pulling her back to the podium with me. "I don't want to go into detail about what you've helped me through because it kind of ruins my next speech. But I'd be a mess without you, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I'm so thankful to call you mine. You save me every single day and if I can make you feel half as alive as you make me feel then I'm doing something right. I love you." The audience all awed at the same time. Chloe's face turned bright red and our table hooted and hollered louder than ever. She kissed my cheek and I wrapped my arm around her.

"I love you too." She whispered as I stared at her. "More than anything."

"So with that I'd like to announce two things. I'll try to be quick as to not bore you." I shifted awkwardly but calmed down as Chloe's hand clasped my waist. "I'd like to announce that my good friend Riley Wilson and I have agreed to donate and work closely hand in hand with the Equal Rights Campagine." Cheers lifted through the entire building as I smiled uncontrollably. "Meaning my entire station will be working side by side with the movement in any way we can. Obviously this is important to me and very close to my heart." Chloe was staring at me, eyes sparking as I spoke. I inhaled deeply excited for the next part. "Riley would you mind coming over here? I asked covering the microphone, he nodded and I turned back to the crowd. "Riley and I have agreed that we want to start a charity. One that's extremely personal." Chloe blinked rapidly for a moment. Jesse nodded encouragingly. "Roughly three years ago, I fell and hit my head. Causing some serious damage to my brain." I paused trying to control the lump growing in my throat. Chloe stiffened as I stood there. She rested her other hand on my stomach to remind me she was standing there.

"Beca, take your time. No rush." Riley whispered on the opposite side of Chloe. I glanced in his direction throwing him a small smile.

"I forgot the four most important years of my life. I forgot my acapella group, which had become the best family I could ask for. I forgot my best friends and I even forgot the love of my life." I inhaled deeply before giving Chloe and apologetic glance, she patted my stomach in response. "In a fit of panic and trying to protect me from the events of that horrible night my family formulated a story to fill in the blank memories. I remembered all of my school work and the everyday things besides the big events and people." I looked down at the paper in front of me and sighed. Setting it down on the floor and looking back to our table. "Anyways, in an attempt to keep me from becoming distraught and confused they forced Chloe out of my life. Leaving me alone and depressed because I had nothing to run to. It was me and these false memories. Long story short, with a little push from Aubrey and Stacie. Chloe and I reconnected. I'll be honest there was a connection right away but I had no idea who she was. She was willing to accept that and keep my past a secret. Which since then we've agreed wasn't her decision to make but we've worked passed that." Chloe shifted away but I tightened my grip so she couldn't pull back. "Being around her sparked my memories, it started as really confusing dreams and over time I read some journals and found all the photo albums from Barden and the Bellas and confronted my family and these friends. They told me the truth which to be honest was way overwhelming but I got things straightened out and here I am. I believe that the brain is truly astonishing and I know that with more research we can make the process of amnesia and brain damage easier on not only the victim but the people around them."

"Breathe babe." Chloe mumbled as I choked down some air, which stung my lungs. Her eyes wide from listening to the story I was telling. We hadn't talked about it since the night at my brother's house.

"I feel like with the right research maybe a new treatment and therapy can be used to unlock whatever memories are damaged or locked away in the mind after horrible circumstances." I smiled with tears pooling in my navy blue eyes. I waved Stacie up to the stage and she quickly stood on the other side of Chloe. Riley stepped a little closer. "I'd like to announce the start of the Mitchell-Beale-Conrad foundation." Chloe gasped as Stacie slipped her hand into Chloe's and the crowd erupted into applause. Whistling, shouting and hollering. I turned to Chloe and kissed her deeply before shaking Riley's hand and practically being knocked off my feet by Stacie. The rest of our table was surrounding us in a giant group hug on the center of the stage. My heart was pounding against my ribs and as happy as I felt I needed some air.

The rest of the night was a blur, literally. I'm not sure who started the consistent flow of alcohol but I don't think there was a single point that night that there wasn't a drink in my hand. I found myself leaned up against the wall outside the club, cigarette in hand. I had changed into jean shorts and a purple flannel on the way to the club and was thankful for Chloe because she remembered to grab me different clothes. Sweat was beaded on my forehead as I struggled to remember the last time I danced this much. I heard the door open and close but kept my eyes closed.

"Hi." Chloe mumbled drunkenly and took my cigarette from me. Taking a slow and long drag.

"Hey." I said before frowning. "When did you start smoking?" Although I wasn't a fan of the idea of the older woman smoking something about it was really attractive.

"When I was in LA." Chloe giggled. "I did a lot of new things here." Chloe added, her mind going down memory lane. She leaned against the wall, her eyes focusing on mine. Her pupils dilated for a moment and the darkness of them made me shiver. "What?" She asked after a moment.

"You are so damn hot." I blurted before realizing what I said. Cover my face with my hands at my drunken word vomit. Chloe belted out in laughter at my embarrassment. She hummed after regaining composure. Her hands grabbed my wrists and twisted my arms behind her back before her own rested on the back of my neck. Fingers snaking into my damp hair. My breath hitched as I felt the bass drop in the building behind Chloe. She kissed me softly for a moment but quickly traced her tongue across my bottom lip, I granted access instantly and we battled for dominance. I dropped a hand to Chloe's thigh and hitched it up over my hip, forgetting completely where we were. Her hand slipped up under the back of my shirt, nails dragging harshly over my skin. I winced at the feeling of the skin breaking.

"Shit." Chloe moaned as I began grinding my hips into her body. "Fuck Beca." She moaned again as I found my way to her neck with open mouth kisses. Chloe shoved me away, her eyes narrowing in the darkness. "If I let you keep going I won't be able to stop and I came out here because they need you to DJ inside." Chloe admitted like it was the most normal thing in the world to say. "Come on Becs." I followed Chloe through the door and across the dance floor where she yelled something into the DJ's ear.

"Thank you so much dude. I'll be back in like half an hour. I just need to go take care of something a few blocks away. My daughter locked herself out." He laughed and I just smiled.

"No problem bro." I said shaking his hand. Stepping into the booth I queued up a few songs and stalked off to the bathroom after seeing Chloe dancing sexily with Stacie. Bursting up laughing as I pointed Cynthia out to Jesse as I walked by. The woman was staring slack jawed at our partners grinding. When I came out of the bathroom, I was trying to weave my way through the crowd, just as I was about to walk up the steps to the booth a hand snagged my wrist. Still completely tanked I tripped sideways into the body that began to grind on me. Automatically moving to the beat because of the haze in my head not even realizing who was grinding against me.

"Chloe! Wait!" I heard as the song faded into the opening chords of Pornstar dancing by my darkest days. I looked up suddenly realizing my situation. Gina turned around, tossing her arms over my shoulders, smirking an evil grin at me. I saw Chloe lean in and whisper something to Stacie who then started flailing her arms around and clearing a spot on the floor, dragging a chair out. Chloe's eyes full of rage she tore me away from Gina, pushing me backwards across the floor and into the chair that Stacie was holding.

"Don't fucking move." Chloe growled as she threw her thighs over my lap and started dancing. She grabbed my hands and rested them on her thighs. Leaning in she sang the words seductivly.

 **"** **But I got a girl who can put on a show.**

 **The dollar decides how far you can go with her**

 **She wraps those hands around that pole**

 **She licks those lips and off we go**

 **She takes it off nice and slow**

 **Cause that's porn star dancin'**

 **She don't play nice, she makes me beg."**

I tore my eyes from Chloe's chest and shot a glance to my right, the crowd had formed a circle around us. Riley's eyes focused only on Chloe. Realizing how uncomfortable this made me I shifted to try and leave. Chloe's hand shot up and shoved me back down. Her eyes commanded me to stay still. She grabbed my hands and ran them over her body, which turned me on in ways I can't even explain. I looked back at Riley. "Chloe." I whined hating the attention he was giving her.

"Shut up." She growled again. "You did this to yourself." I looked up at her face for the first time and saw that it wasn't anger in her eyes it was jealousy. I glanced to the right again in time to see Stacie jump on top of the table to scream the next couple lines of the song.

 **"** **Stacy's gonna save herself for marriage  
But that's just not my style  
She's got a pair that's nice to stare at  
But I want girls gone wild."**

With that Chloe let out a laugh the come from her core, making her all the sexier. She continued to grind her hips and body on top of me. Only removing herself when the song came to an end. I sat in bewilderment before she threw her leg over my lip again, shoving her tongue into my mouth. Pulling away a few moments later, she shot a look to her left and smirked. I followed her gaze and my jaw dropped when I realized she was staring at Gina with a look of victory on her face. Gina looked around realizing everyone's eyes were glued to her and ran out blushing the same color as Chloe's hair.

"Shit Chloe Beale." Aubrey mumbled as they all ran over. "Where the hell did that come from?" The tall blonde was looking back and forth between the two of us. Chloe standing behind me with her hand on my shoulder. I still hadn't composed myself enough to stand up. I practically jumped when I felt Chloe's lips on my ear.

"You're mine Beca Mitchell. Don't forget that." Her voice was steady but I could hear the hint of jealousy as her sentence came to an end. I nodded slowly and tried to swallow the lump in my throat as she pulled me to my feet and pushed me back to the booth. Everyone cheering in response to the show they just got from Chloe. My eyes fell back to Riley as he pushed his way to the bar and rested his hand on Chloe's elbow, catching her attention. She threw her head back laughing at whatever he said, his eyes lingered on her body a little too long before Chloe's eyes caught my attention. She looked at a grinning Riley then back to me two or three times before a light came on in her head. She shrugged away from his touch politely and turned towards the floor before making her way to me. "Beca." Her voice was soft as she stepped up behind me. I stood there silently adjusting some of the equipment. She reached out to touch me but without even thinking about it I shrank away.

"Don't." I mumbled. "He's my business partner Chloe. I can't spend every event, every night at the club worrying about if he's trying to jump your bones or not." My eyes narrowed as I focused on her. "Or if you'll let him." As soon as the words came out of my mouth I knew it was a mistake. Chloe took a step back. I sighed. "Look babe, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that last part. I know you'd never cheat on me. Just like, I know everyone knows how attractive you are. Not just your looks but you are the most attractive person I've met intellectually, personality wise and just like your aspiration and dreams." I stepped towards her stopping just to finish the que list real quick. Her back was pressed into the wall now, with nowhere to go. I threw my hands to her face and smashed my mouth into hers. Not hesitating to slip my hand under her shirt and up her back. She relaxed into the kiss before she grew greedy. The only reason we pulled away was because of the lack of oxygen. Just then someone cleared their throat. Looking over my shoulder I saw the DJ and nodded.

"It's time to go back to the hotel. I feel like you need a reminder of how much you really belong do belong to me." My stomach did a flip as Chloe's voice settled in my ear, my body growing hot and flushed. We scrambled out of the club, Chloe sent Stacie a text as we grabbed a cab back to the room. Tripping over literally every chair and table between the door and our room breaking a lamp on the way. Chloe shut the door and quickly dug through my bag, pulling out a tie before a grin spread across her face.

"Chloe, no way!" I blushed when I realized what she was thinking but it was too late. She was on top of me tearing my shirt off. "Chloe-" Her lips crashed into mine causing me to moan. "I don't know-" I tried again. Her hands were already tying me to the bed post. She pulled back her eyes almost black with desire.

"Shut up Beca. I'm in control. Besides, you're in no position to do anything about it." She smirked as I pulled my wrists hard, realizing I really was stuck. After a while Chloe removed my restraints and things played out pretty much with her in control the whole time. "Shit." Chloe groaned as she collapsed next to me on the bed. I rolled off the bed to grab water and advil.

"You're going to want to drink this." I handed it to her, opening a beer for myself and chugging it. I climbed into the bed and let Chloe lay her head on my bare chest before twisting my hand into her hair.

"It's just you and I tomorrow right" Chloe whispered so quietly I almost didn't hear. Sleep was so close that I just hummed in agreement.

"I promised Chlo." I mumbled before falling asleep.

* * *

 **Let me know what you think. I thought it would be a good idea to remind everyone that Chloe isn't as perfect as Beca sees her to be. Jealousy can be a bitch. Remember that as you continue reading. Anyways I have a seriously cute idea coming in pretty soon. If ya'll wanted to give me some feed back that would be great. Was this an alright chapter? Anything you might want to see happen as the story progresses? Thanks for reading! Stay tuned.**


	11. What Is This

**A/N This chapter is way shorter than most but I think you'll like it. Feedback is appreciated. Enjoy!**

* * *

I woke up to a loud thump in the living room and an eruption of laughter. I glanced over at Chloe, admiring how perfect she looked all twisted up in the sheets. Slowly I slipped my arm from her grasp in an attempt not to wake her. My head pounding as I stumbled around the room looking for clothes to put on. "Shhh! Don't wake them up!" Aubrey stage whispered as I clicked the door closed behind me.

"Too late!" Stacie practically shouted, falling over as she pulled her heels off. Causing another extremely loud round of laughing.

"Is it necessary to be so damn loud Conrad?" I growled pinching the bridge of my nose in an attempt to ease my pounding head.

"Someone is hung over and grumpy. You're such a hobbit!" Aubrey giggled, tripping over an overturned chair. I glared at her before glancing at the clock.

"Jesus! It's six in the morning. Where have you been?" My eyes went wide as Jesse fell face first onto the dinner table, squirming a little until his whole body was, well what I assumed to be as comfortable. The group was staggering around trying to pull their clothing off and get comfortable in random places.

"We went to an after party." CR stated calmly helping Stacie pull off her shirt.

"And then another." Stacie giggled, I hadn't seen her this wasted in a long time.

"And another." Jesses mumbled into the table. I just shook my head at the group of misfits. Stacie laid on top of Aubrey on the couch.

"Advil?" Stacie whined.

"And water?" Aubrey groaned. I walked to the fridge grabbing a bottle for everyone. Then passed out a two advil to everyone. Jesse protested until I punched him in the ribs. I pulled a beer out of the fridge before leaning back on the counter. "How are you still drinking?" Aubrey groaned again.

"Shhh Bree. It's sleepy night night time." Stacie whined once again, petting the side of the blondes face before giggling. I shook my head before helping Jesse off the table. He fought back for a moment.

"Stop wiggling movie boy, you'll thank me for this later." I snapped as I practically drug him to his room, tossing him down on the bed before pulling his shoes of. Her grumbled something into the pillow but I just rolled my eyes and went back to the girls. I looked around for Cynthia. "CR?" I called before tripping over her foot, she was laying on her stomach in the hallway. "Come on bro." I chuckled before pulling her to her feet, steering her into her room with far less effort than it took with Jesse. She reached up and patted my shoulder after I pulled the blankets up.

"Where's Chlo bear at?" Stacie asked peeking at me through one eye.

"She's sleeping in bed just like you should be." I answered clearly amused.

"I'll keep her company!" Stacie offered attempting a wink. Failing miserably.

"No but you can cuddle with your wife." I retorted before pulling her off Aubrey.

"But I want to sleep with Aubrey." She whined as I flipped her legs over my other arm, carrying her slowly down the hall and setting her down next to Cynthia who was snoring loudly at this point. I tucked my best friend in, hesitating next to her for a moment as a wave of emotions washed over me. "Are you okay Becs?" Her voice was heavy with sleep. I smiled and kissed her forehead. "Love you."

"Love you too Stacie." I sighed before returning to Aubrey. Who was still half awake, breathing heavily. When I bent down I realized she was crying. "Hey come on, how about you get in bed?" I rubbed her back trying to comfort her, ready to get back in bed for at least a few more hours. She began to cry harder.

"Will you just sit with me?" Her voice was so small that my stomach dropped. I'd never heard the woman so vulnerable. I hesitated for a moment wanting to return to Chloe. When she let out a small whimper I walked to the fridge, grabbing another two beers and another water. I grabbed a pillow and blanket off the other couch and she lifted her head so I could sit. I placed the pillow in my lap and she laid back down. I tossed the blanket over her body and she snuggled into it. "Thank you Becs." She sighed sleepily. I played with her hair as she cried softly, knowing she didn't want to talk I just drank my beers. Not meaning to, I dozed off.

* * *

 **I was fumbling around with a lighter with my back pressed against Chloe's car. Desperate to light my cigarette as Chloe paced in front of me. After a few failed attempts I threw the lighter at the ground. Chloe's eyes shot up and she picked it up, walking over to me slowly. Holding up a flame in front of my face. I inhaled and sighed as I exhaled smoke. "Beca, you shouldn't smoke. It's going to mess up your voice." Sadness settled in my mind at the sound of her voice. I sighed heavily, running a shaky hand through my hair.**

 **"** **Chloe." I started.**

 **"** **No, listen Beca." She was pacing again. She opened her mouth but all that came out was silence. She sighed in defeat.**

 **"** **You graduate in like a month." I began to speak again. She stopped with her back to me. "How are we… What… What are we?" I finished not being able to find the words I needed to formulate what we were thinking. Chloe's shoulders slumped in defeat. "We spent this whole year doing… whatever this is. Flirting. Almost kissing. The looks. The touches. Like I just don't know Chloe. I love you but you're going to New York after you graduate and I'm… Well going to LA."**

 **"** **I'm not graduating." She finally said after a long moment of silence.**

 **"** **Wh-what?" My voice cracked. Head spinning as I tried to grasp what she just said. She turned around slowly, tears streaming down her face.**

 **"** **I said I'm not-" She started but I cut her off.**

 **"** **I heard what you said. What do you mean you're not graduating?" My voice was broken as I struggled to keep up.**

 **"** **I failed Russian lit. I'm not graduating Beca." Her voice was rising. "I'm staying at Barden for another year. But… You're going to LA." She stared at her hands.**

 **"** **I don't… I don't know what to say Chloe." I felt like the wind was being knocked out of me. I dropped my cigarette but just stared at it as it burned out on the ground. Another length of silence between us.**

 **"** **I want you." Chloe's voice cut my ears. "I want you. And I want you to want me." Before I could respond Chloe's hands were on my face. Her eyes burning into my own. I stared at her, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. She hesitated for a moment before crushing her lips into mine. The kiss wasn't sweet it was painful. I could feel Chloe's heartbreaking in the way our lips moved together. My hands shot up to her waist, pulling her closer. She pulled her mouth away from mine and inhaled sharply. Before she could speak again I twisted my hand into her hair, pulling her mouth back to mine. Hands clumsily fumbling over the length of the other one's body. "Beca." Chloe moaned into my mouth, causing the air in my lungs to dissipate. "I just want you to let me in." She said pulling away from my grasp. I was speechless as the red head stood in front of me with a broken expression.**

 **"** **Chloe. I-I can't." I mumbled as guilt flooded through me.**

 **"** **So you're telling me that this means nothing to you? I've been chasing you since the day we met. I've been throwing myself at you. Hood night, practices, all those drunk nights at the apartment with the hand holding and cuddling. Bring you coffee. I can't stand it when you're mad at me Beca. I hate when we don't talk for more than an hour and it literally breaks my heart when I can't see you every day. How am I supposed to survive without you? I'm in love with you. " She motioned between us before she continued talking, her voice rising as emotions overwhelmed her.**

 **"** **What is this?" I asked still unsure of what she wanted from me. She laughed angrily. Throwing her hands in the air she turned to walk away. "Wait." I grabbed her wrist. "Just, I'm not good at this shit." I dropped her hand as she turned around, glaring at me. "Just, let me talk. Let me finish before you say anything." I watched cautiously as she folded her arms across her chest, raising an eyebrow impatiently. "Look Chlo, you kind of came out of nowhere and blindsided me. I had this whole thing planned out. I was supposed to meet my dad's conditions and leave for LA. Plain and simple. And then you-you just showed up. Literally just came out of nowhere, bursting into my shower like it was no big deal. You did the same thing with the walls I had built. You forced me to join the Bellas and I kind of got attached to them too. I'm not good at this. I'm not good at… feelings and having people care for me." I dared to glance at her reaction, she stood still. Softer maybe but still waiting. "You have no sense of personal space. Not that I mind anymore. You pry and you pout and you whine. And dammit I can't stop thinking about you. I've spent more night in my bed awake thinking about you and kicking myself for not taking that leap of faith. But Chloe, I was so afraid to lose your friendship. I am still afraid. You're the first best friend I've ever had. You're the most important person in my life. You gave me a family, the Bellas. And I don't want to lose that feeling. You make me happy and I'd forgotten I was even capable of that. I just... I can't live without you." The last sentence was practically a whisper. Chloe stood motionless with her arms limp at her side, her eyes full of tears. I awkwardly stood there staring at her until she finally spoke.**

 **"** **Don't go." Her voice was stern, not a command but a statement. "Stay here. With the Bellas. With me." I just blinked as her words bounced around in my head. "We can figure out the rest together. Please Beca."**

 **"** **Only if you promise not to leave me." I compromised.**

 **"** **I want to be with you Beca. Hand in hand. Together." Chloe whispered as she walked closer. My lips pressed to hers as I stepped forward to meet her halfway.**

* * *

"Beca?" Chloe's voice pulled me from my dream. "Wake up." I rubbed my eyes and focused them on my girlfriend. Smiling sleepily at her. I looked down to see Aubrey with her arms wrapped around my waist. "I was worried when I woke up and you weren't in bed. But now I see why." She pushed some hair from Aubrey's face. "Thank you for taking care of her." Chloe's eyes were soft as she whispered. I slowly shifted, lifting her head to get up.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep, she was just upset and it was early." I stretched before wrapping my arms around Chloe, taking in the damage around us. "Well, last night was great for all of us." Chloe just giggled and pulled me towards the kitchen, I sat at the island dropping my head in my hands to let out a low groan.

"Coffee?" Chloe asked leaning down to kiss the back of my neck.

"The sound of that makes my stomach hurt. Will you get me a beer?" I heard Chloe stop in her tracks but didn't look up. She mumbled something before fetching a beer from the fridge. "Thank you." I twisted the cap off and drank the alcohol greedily. "So, what's on the itinerary for the day? I figured we could rent a car so they would still have the limo."

"That's a good idea, I have a few places I want to show you." She sounded upset but my head hurt too much to process what to say. I lifted my head and watched as she poured creamer in her coffee. She turned around to face me, leaning on the counter for support. Her eyes sad.

"What's up Chlo?" I asked trying to straighten up, sipping my beer. She furrowed her brow before pushing off the counter.

"Nothing. Let's shower so we can go get some food. I'm starved." She grabbed my wrist yanking me to our room. We showered and got ready, quietly sneaking out as the rest of the group slept off their long night. We ate breakfast, laughing and chatting about whatever came to mind. My nerves began to sink in the longer we were out. "You look kind of pale. You okay?"

"Yeah, just a little hung over still. I never understood how you rarely get hungover." I laughed at the thought as she drove in silence, parking by the beach. The wind was blowing softly as the sun warmed our skin. Chloe's eyes shaded by her glasses as we plopped down on a blanket. Pointing and enjoying the other beach goers together. I swallowed to get the lump in my throat to go down. I tried clearing my throat. "Hey Chlo?" I whispered in her ear. She hummed happily as she soaked up the rays, leaning further into me. I reached in my pocket fumbling to pull something out. "Will you marry me?" The words fell from my mouth as I opened a small black box in front of her. Her head fell forward as she pushed her glasses up. She didn't move or speak as she stared at the ring in front of her. I began to panic at the thought of her rejecting me. "I-I"

"Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes." She cut me off, twisting in my arms and knocking me over, kissing me over and over. "Yes!" Tears were streaming down her face as I laid under her, a giant smile spreading across my face. "Oh my god!" Her eyes were so bright that I couldn't believe it took me this long to ask her again.

"Oh thank god, I already set up our announcement at dinner tonight. That would have been embarrassing." I blushed as she just stared at me. "Put it on crazy." I handed the box to her as she wiggled around on top of me. "Chloe Mitchell." She grinned widely at the name.

"We may have to talk about the last name thing later." She teased, winking before kissing me passionately.


	12. Happy Thanksgiving

**A/N Still another short one. Well shorter than usual. But more of another transition chapter. Let me know what you think. Or if you want to guess what's going to go down in the next chapter you can totally do that also! Enjoy and thanks for sticking it out this long with me! (:**

* * *

"Beca, I told Alex we would be there at two and we haven't even left yet! Come on." Chloe was frantically running around the kitchen trying to round everything up. I sat on the arm of the couch and watched in silence, irritation building under my skin. I took a big drink from my beer before I walked up to my fiancé. Twisting my arms around her waist, clamping my hands down on the counter's edge so she couldn't move. "Beca." She warned, I placed tender kisses on her neck and her shoulders. "Come on please. This is our first thanksgiving with them together since Barden." The anxiety in Chloe's voice made me step back.

"I know," I dropped my head in defeat. "I just really don't know if I want to see them." The confession was real but it was still a little embarrassing.

"It's been eight months. Give them a chance. If at any point you want to leave, then we'll come back here and have a bottle of wine. Watch a scary movie and cuddle. I promise." Chloe lifted my chin as she spoke, looking me in the eyes to remind me that I wasn't alone.

"I'd rather do that." I couldn't help but chuckle. "Okay, let me change and then I'll take all this stuff down to the car and we can head out there." I shuffled off to our room, twisting the ring on my finger absently. I tossed my now removed shirt on the bed, slipping on a black tank top with a nice blue button down shirt over it, leaving my black skinny jeans on. Staring down at the options for shoes I had, I sat back trying to contain the anxiety building. Chloe's red hair peeking through the doorway caught my attention.

"Wear the blue and white vans." She pointed to the corner of the room where a pile of shoes sat. I grinned as the feelings in my stomach began to subside. "Hey, I love you." She assured even thought I knew deep down that it would never be a question in my mind again. We'd been battling to keep my walls down these last few months. Ever since LA, we'd been fighting at least every other day. Not that they lasted long, Chloe had perfected this sad puppy pout that made me bust up laughing no matter how mad I was. But the frustrations and anxiety was always hovering it seemed.

"I love you Chloe." I slipped one shoe on easily, nearly tripping backwards trying to pull the other on. "Jesus." I groaned. I carried the boxes of pies and food Chloe had prepared down to the car and secured them in the backseat. "Why did you make so much food babe?" I raised a curious eyebrow.

"You do realize how big your family is right? You have three siblings who all have partners, plus us, Aubrey and Jesse might go and Stacie and CR are going." I frowned as I added up the amount of people in my head and realized that although that was a large amount of people it wouldn't be half as amazing as the one year all the Bella's stayed on campus and had thanksgiving together because Chloe couldn't go home and no one wanted her there alone.

"Wait, why are the girl's going to be there?" Worry replacing all emotions abruptly when Chloe's statement about Stacie and CR registered. Chloe shrugged as I drove, I watched her carefully out of the corner of my eye.

"Can we stop so I can get a couple bottles of wine or something?" Her voice was small and her eyes looked far away. I just nodded and pulled into the parking lot, waiting for her return. Silently giving myself a pat on the back when I watched her walk back from the store. I stepped around the car quickly to open her door. "Well thank you ma'am." She teased with Chloe Beale charm.

"Anything for you dear." I retorted. An uncomfortable silence fell over us as I drove slowly to my brother's house. Chloe kept sneaking glances that I tried to ignore.

"Becs, it's okay. It's going to be okay, remember if you want to leave just say the word. Any point. Anytime. We're in this together." Chloe's hand rested on my thigh causing waves of relief to wash over me.

"Forever?" My voice squeaked, causing me to internally flinch.

"And always." She beamed. "Oh god, we've turned into THAT couple." She added before falling into uncontrollable laughter. "Okay, listen up." Chloe jerked my face towards her as soon as the car was in park. She didn't say anything, just stared at me longingly before attaching our lips hungrily. My hands instinctively reaching out for her hips, she pulled back and swatted them away. "If you can survive this without getting TOO wasted. You'll get rewarded tonight." Her eyes narrowed as desire swam in the light blue pools. "Let's good stud." Chloe slid out of the car and handed me a box after I walked around the back, stacking another box on top of that. I stumbled with all the weight of the food right behind her as she casually walked through the door, sulking off towards the kitchen. I rolled my eyes as my older sister's shrieked and cried out how beautiful Chloe is and about how glad they are that we made it out.

"Here champ, I got you." My brother's sad eyes briefly met mine before he took the box of pies off the top of the stack. I placed the other box on the counter and sighed a thank you to the younger man. "You look beautiful as always." Jared smiled at my partner. Amber wrapping an arm around his waist. I kissed her cheek as a greeting, hugging Ryan and Brad afterwards. Chloe was chatting easily with my sisters. "Want one?" Jared asked, lifting a bottle of whiskey up. I debated for a moment and then agreed. "So we heard about your foundation." He approached casually but by his facial expression I could tell that he was weighing his words heavily. I just nodded not sure if my words would fail me or not. Chloe was keeping a careful eye on me from across the kitchen and I grinned coolly in her direction.

"Want some wine?" Alex asked the ladies in the room. All agreeing that it sounded like a great idea. After watching Alex pour a glass for her, Chloe rested her hand on her glass as she used the other one to speak. Megan spat her wine all over the counter.

"IS THAT AN ENGAGEMENT RING?!" Megan's eyes bulged as she tried not to choke on the white alcohol she was consuming. Chloe's face flashed from shock to amusement as she stared at the older woman. Megan then turned to me and threw a spoon, missing by a mile. "You purposed? And didn't tell anyone?!" A smirk twisted onto my lips.

"Oh I told people. Stacie, Cynthia, Jesse, Aubrey, the rest of the Bellas and probably half of LA. But you know sorry it must have slipped my mind." My words came out bitter and I grimaced as soon as they left my mouth. Alex's eyes began to pool with tears, I didn't want to make my family cry on thanksgiving so I swallowed my pride. "I'm sorry, that was harsh. We haven't exactly spoken in the last almost year. Yeah that's been on my account. But I don't want to fight." Alex nodded slowly showing that she understood.

"Well," Chloe giggled. "Now that that's out of the way? What now?" Her eyes sparkled as Megan checked the turkey. I chugged my drink and handed the empty cup to Jared. Who poured another. Megan mumbled something about the turkey being finished in a few minutes when the front door opened. Stacie popped around the corner, screeching and throwing her hands up when she saw Chloe.

"It's my favorite bride to be!" She shouted squeezing Chloe and spinning her around. She stopped abruptly and mumbled some profanities. Shooting me an apologetic look before Chloe whispered a reassurance in her ear. "Oh god, I thought I totally ruined it." She whined. Cynthia gave me a fist bump before grinning and shaking her head.

"My life would be so boring without her." I laughed knowing exactly what she meant. I felt the same way about Chloe. Cynthia was pouring herself a drink as everyone fell back into quiet banter.

"Hey, will you come talk to me?" Alex whispered in my ear. Causing me to nearly spill my drink everywhere from jumping so high. After glaring at her, I softened my expression and nodded solemnly. As I walked towards the back patio Chloe gave me a small smile that reminded me of her agreement earlier. We stood leaning into the railing. Alex's brown eyes bouncing nervously over the landscape before finally falling to her hands. "I had all these things I wanted to say to you. Here I am speechless. Just know that I know there isn't anything I can say or do to make up for the horrible decisions I made for you. I swear I was just trying to protect you." She stopped and inhaled and knowing my sister and her long winded speeches I waited patiently for her to continue. Really listening to her despite the fact that I told myself I didn't want to. "I'm sorry. More than anything I'm sorry about keeping Chloe away from you. I never hated her, I just knew she was going to get in the way of this life we had painted for you in your mind. We were right but I'm glad she did because now Beca is back. I love you no matter what. Whether you are Skylar or Beca or whoever you want to be. But I missed Beca Mitchell. Part time DJ full time badass." She paused as a small smile twisted on my lips. "Just know, I'll do whatever you need for me to earn your trust back." Tears threatened my eyes as she stood staring out into the nature in front of us. I placed my hand on the back of my sister's before debating on my response.

"I don't hate you. I understand why you did what you did. You have Chloe to thank for that, long nights and her defending all of you. I don't agree with what you did. I still don't think it was a decision you had the right to make for me. Especially running Chloe off." I locked my eyes on my sister's caramel colored orbs, narrowing them with seriousness. "Give me time." Anger was still just below the surfaces but I couldn't let my sister live with the pain of me being outwardly angry anymore. She sniffed before wiping her tears with the sleeve of her sweater. A mischievous grin on her face, she turns slowly and laughs.

"Shots?" Her eyebrows raising as she asked the question. I glanced over my shoulder into the kitchen just in time to see Chloe pull her gaze from me into the kitchen where Stacie was talking excitedly with her hands, holding a butcher knife. I laughed at the adopted family members I'd gained over the years and decided a few shots couldn't hurt.

"First one is for Buba." I stated slowly, Alex nodded quickly before we clinked our glasses and threw back the shots.

"Second one is to my baby sister's engagement." A smirk faded into a happy smile on my sister's face. We threw the second one back, I lifted a hand in surrender. Signaling that I needed a moment before I took anymore. Memories of the last few weeks flooded my mind.

* * *

 ** _Chloe was irate in the kitchen for the third night this week. I dropped my head in defeat before lifting my drunken body off the couch. "Chlo, come on what's wrong?" I slurred my words a little and watched as the red head laughed with venom in her vocals. She had both arms locked in front of her to support her weight against the counter, her eyes shut with her head hanging down. She lifted her head slowly, the look in her eyes made my blood run cold._**

 ** _"_** ** _Beca Mitchell, why do you do this? It was okay when we first got together, I understood. You were broken, lost, confused and you were angry. Are you not happy? Like do I make your life that fucking miserable?" My mind was spinning as her voice cracked. Her jaw was clinched in an attempt to fight back crying, I knew Chloe Beale and I knew she was on the verge of a complete freak out. She stood up straighter now and pointed at me. "You don't get to do this. Not now. Not after all the shit we've gone through. You've made too much progress to go back to this Beca Skylar Mitchell." I flinched at how sharp her words sounded as she said my name. "You deserve a better life than that. I deserve a better life than that." Her words tore through my fogged mind like a chainsaw. "I WILL NOT MARRY A DRUNK!" Her voice betrays her as she tried to get the point across._**

 ** _"_** ** _Fuck you Chloe." My own voice came out as a hiss. A new expression took place on the taller woman's face as she crossed her arms over her chest._**

 ** _"_** ** _Excuse me?" Her question caused me to flinch again, knowing I just threw gasoline on the fire. "What gives YOU the right to talk to ME like that? Huh?" I stood in complete shock as her eyes blazed with a new emotion I'd never seen. "That's my point exactly, you would never talk to me like that if you weren't trashed right now." She threw her hands up in exasperation when I stood silently, swaying unsteadily a little. "You know what? I can't do this Beca." Her eyes were empty now as the words hung in the air._**

 _ **"**_ _ **Wh-wh-what?" I stuttered but not from the alcohol. Panic rising in my throat as the fog suddenly felt even heavier in my head. I couldn't process what she was saying. Tears began streaming down my face as Chloe stood emotionless on the other side of the counter. A sob escaping the depths of my chest as she dropped her gaze down to the ring on her hand, her eyes traveling to the picture frame on the wall beside her. It was a picture of us in our sweats and old Barden tshirts. We had gone out to get coffee and were sitting on a blanket in the quad when Chloe shouted about taking a selfie. Both our hair was tied up in a messy bun, still wearing makeup from the night before but Chloe's smile was so brilliant that when she went to take the picture, the edge of my mouth was twisted up in a half smile, my teeth partially showing behind my lips, my eyes locked on the perfect woman next to me. Chloe sighed, obviously lost down memory lane. I kissed her quickly after the picture was taken, awkwardly pulling away just as quick. It was our first kiss which we didn't talk about until after I confessed my love for her on a drunken night. I couldn't breathe as I thought about all this.**_

 _ **"Beca." Chloe's face was suddenly in front of me, both hands on my face. "Beca, Beca, Beca look at me." My eyes struggled to focus but I did as I was told. Chloe spent the next five minutes calming me down. She put me to bed and I lied away in bed staring at the wall, listening to her sobs for three hours. "I can't do this. I can't watch her destroy herself. Destroy us. But I can't walk away." Chloe's broken voice sounded between sobs, I hated that she was sitting in the living room all alone but I knew there was nothing I could do to help. Neither one of us slept that night.**_

* * *

"Beca?" Alex's voice pulled me back from my thoughts, I smiled automatically throwing walls up. I took the shot glass from her hand and hesitated before throwing it down the back of my throat. My thoughts still on Chloe, thinking about kissing her or maybe trying to find a reason to disappear for awhile so I could get her alone. And naked. Yes, very naked.

"Let's go inside." I mumbled before using my hand to motion towards the house. Smiling softly at my sister before we fell in step. I stepped through the door to find Stacie wrestling with Cynthia over something and Chloe standing completely amused with a wine glass pressed to her chest. "Hey sexy." I whispered in her ear, stepping up behind her to press into her back. A grin pulled at the edges of her lips. She tried to turn and face me but I held her hips in place. "Close your eyes." I muttered even quieter. She sighed and did as told. I glanced around the room to be sure that no one was looking at us. "Don't move. Don't make a sound." I commanded a little more urgently this time. I pulled her hips back so her body was pressed completely into mine. Slipping one hand under her shirt onto her warm stomach. Chloe stood perfectly motionless, I pushed her two steps forward so we were shielded better by the counter. Looking around again I slipped my other hand down the front of her pants and grinned as Chloe choked back a gasp. She wiggled a little. "Open your eyes, but don't move. You're gonna give us away." My voice was a little on the seductive side causing Chloe's breath to hitch. I watched cautiously as she bit her lip hard as I went about my business. Only jerking my hand away when a tall brunette man walked into the room.

"Shit." Chloe growled pushing me away in a panic. I just stood there mouth agape, not even sure I was physically capable of moving right now. Chloe straightened out her clothes before shooting a glance to the now frozen room. Stacie grabbed Cynthia's hand, sinking back against a wall. Jared's eyes narrowed with anger as Amber cocked her head in confusion. Brad and Ryan who were sitting at the table just awkwardly kept shifting their eyes around the faces in the room. Megan leaned into Alex for support as she clutched her chest. Alex stood there extremely still before turning her head to me. You could hear a pin drop in the earth shattering silence of the Mitchell residence. I was the first to move, reaching slowly for the whiskey on the counter, everyone's eyes jerked to me. I moved the mouth of the bottle to my mouth and tipped it up, counting to six as I chugged down the angry liquid. Avoiding eye contact with anyone as Chloe slipped her hand in mine. Her promise flashed through my mind again, I shook my head too stubbornly to let this man of all people chase me from a family event. The alcohol clearly fueling my thoughts and anger. I wasn't going to leave because of him. Even if things were a little tense at the moment. Chloe moved towards me like a frightened child. I looked down at her face, her blue eyes focused on reading my expression. She looked scared but like she was scared for me. I stared lovingly at the woman.

"Beca." The single word snagged everyone's focus, including mine to the man standing in the opening that led to the front door. I swallowed my anger down, knowing that this wasn't going to go well but too pissed to walk away. I focused all the anger I had been feeling this last year on him. My blood practically boiling as an awkward half, open lipped smile found its way to my face.

"Dad." The word made my ears hurt.


	13. Bribes and Threats

**A/N Sorry about the delay in update. I've been busy moving and had a family emergency. I'm sorry it's so short but this is a transition chapter and I felt like this information was really important. So here you go. Reviews are appreciated.**

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _Rebeca Mitchell, what the hell are you doing with your life?" His voice echoed in the hollow parts of my mind, the stack of papers he slammed on the desk snapped me back to the moment. I never came in my father's office unless I was being lectured. His eyes were fixed just above my head and it was in this moment that I realized my father hadn't made eye contact with me since my mother's funeral. "Are you just going to stare or are you going to answer me?" His voice was venomous now and I couldn't understand why my older sisters looked at him with so much love in their eyes._**

 ** _"_** ** _Dad I was just protecting my friends, I was putting myself out there and making friends." I whined desperately. My dad huffed at my response and stood up, I flinched knowing he was about to lose his temper._**

 ** _"_** ** _If you think I'm helping you go to LA after a stunt like this? You can forget it." His words were sharp and I stood up without saying anything and stormed out of the office, straight towards the door and blindly down the street. When I blinked my eyes clear of tears I realized I was standing outside Chloe's on campus apartment building. I leaned against the railing and closed my eyes._**

 ** _"_** ** _Beca? Are you okay?" The voice caused me snap my eyes open. Chloe was suddenly standing next to me all concerned and upset._**

 ** _"_** ** _Oh hey, yeah Chloe." I nodded absently before she raised an eyebrow in discontent. "I got into it with my dad about the incident tonight. With getting arrest and all." I admitted kind of embarrassed. Chloe shifted slightly before raising her hand towards the building._**

 _ **"**_ _ **Do you want to come up?" Chloe asked with a sense of reassurance in her voice. I nodded and followed Chloe through the doors and let the tears fall. Knowing I'd never be able to tell Chloe what was really going on because it would break her heart.**_

* * *

"Beca." His voice snapped me out of my memory of the last time I saw him before the accident. "You look amazing." A lazy smile crossed his face as I stiffened.

"What are you doing here?" I snapped at him.

"It's thanksgiving and I haven't seen you kids in a long time." His eyes drifted around the room. Ryan and Brad took their respected places next to my sisters. "Well I seem to be the only one without a date. Stacie and Cynthia good to see you again." He nodded at the boys. "And you, I'm surprised to see you but can't say it's a displeasure." He directed his full attention to my fiancé and I pushed her behind me protectively placing my body between the offender and Chloe. Just as I was about to say something the timer for the turkey went off.

"About time." Stacie joked confidently before rushing to the oven. "Everyone sit down; we'll get the food on the table." Stacie grabbed Chloe's wrist and we all made our way to the table. I sat across from Stacie's empty place and next to Jared's girlfriend. Chloe bustled about to get the food out before slipping into the seat on the other side of me. Her hand landed softly on my thigh with a gentle squeeze and a nervous smile.

"How's work at the office going?" Megan ventured as Cynthia carved the turkey expertly. I nodded taking a sip of the whiskey and coke Jared has placed in front of me.

"It's not going too bad, a little stressful right now with planning the events coming up through the holidays. The New Year's party is going to be insane. You guys are more than welcome to come. I mean I know CR and Stace will be there but it would be cool if you guys all came out to see what we have planned." I spoke slolwy trying to keep a calm tone as my nerves seemed to stand on end.

"Is it formal or no?" Chloe asked polietly from the rim of her wine glass.

"Yeah, it's kind of like a masquerade thing I guess." I laughed at the thought of having to wear a mask and how ironic it felt that I was thinking that in this moment that's exactly what I was doing. "It's pretty fancy actually." I added thoughtfully watching Chloe's entire face light up, she lived for nights like that.

"Hun will you pass the rolls?" Ryan asked my sister quietly and the sound of his voice practically made me jump. He shot me an apologetic glance and a shy smile.

"Oh hey, speaking of work did you get the plans in the email I sent. You know the one for the festival next month in Atlanta?" I turned completely towards CR as I spoke and grunted as I get a swift kick to the shin from Stacie under the table.

"Beca Mitchell. What did I say about work talk at the dinner table?" Stacie growled between clenched teeth. I nodded to show I understood that I overstepped a long time agreement. The red head next to me giggled at the exchange of glares and squeezed my thigh again.

"So…" Amber's voice broke the tension settling over the table. "Jared and I were wondering how you all would feel about taking a snowboarding trip? I know work is busy and everything right now but like maybe the end of next month or something." Her hopeful gaze fell on everyone's face but my father's. "We figured we could load up in the Jeeps and make like drive out. It would be a two-day drive if we push it but I figured we could take off for like a week and a half or something. The eight of us." Jared nodded as if to say he accepted even though it was probably his idea. My older sisters both looked at their partners and smiled. Showing that they completely agreed.

"Let me make sure Sara can cover at the bar for me and won't burn it down but I'm in." She looked at Cynthia and then at me. "Assuming CR's boss will give her the time off." A playful smirk twitched up on her lips.

"Let me think about it." I managed in a fit of laughter. "What do you say babe?" I asked Chloe softly, she bounced her head back and forth in thought and smiled.

"I'll put in for the time off on two conditions." She grinned widely.

"I don't like where this is going. But okay, have at it. Let me hear them before I protest." I shifted in my chair to give her my undivided attention. Realizing the whole room was holding their breath except my father who seemed uncomfortable. The thought pressed a small feeling of accomplishment to the back of my brain.

"One no work. No phone calls. No meetings. No emails. You can mix but only for your enjoyment not for work purposes." She paused and looked at me expectantly before I hesitantly nodded for her to go on, not realizing in that moment just how hard that condition was going to be to meet. "Two, you teach me to snowboard. I mean I can show anyone up on a set of skis but I want to play with the big kids." There it was, the famous Chloe Beale smile. The brilliant megawatt smile that only Chloe could manage.

"Deal." I agreed before placing a soft kiss on my love's cheek.

"That first condition goes for you too Cynthia Rose. So help me god if I find out your sneaking in time to work on this trip you're never getting laid again." Stacie warned and Cynthia's eyes grew as she nodded violently. "We can talk dets later, let's eat." Stacie grinned before picking up a bowl full of mashed potatoes and slapping a large pile on her wife's plate. The group all fell into soft, light hearted chatter as we dished up. Everyone but my father who couldn't seem to stop staring at my future wife.

"Is there a problem?" I finally growled, Chloe's eyes shot up to the older man and I realized I was the only one who had noticed his staring problem. He shook his head and dropped his eyes. I lifted my glass and chugged the remaining contents. Feeling the alcohol's warmth in my body and my head begin feeling floaty. Chloe sighed as she watched on with sadness. Stacie shot me a disapproving look and stood up to get me a refill. I nodded a thank you, never breaking my fiery stare on my father.

"No kiddo. Just observing." Her stated flatly.

"Observing what exactly, there's no reason for you to be staring at her like that." I hissed and Chloe's hand clenched my forearm on the table hard in a warning. The room was deathly still until Stacie hurried back and handed me my glass.

"You're wearing a ring, so is Chloe." He stated again in the same tone.

"Don't say her name, you don't have that right." My blood was boiling by now and I was struggling to breathe. "What about it?" I asked wanting to know what pathetic excuse he'd come up with.

"Are you married?" His question seemed harsh. Making Chloe flinch. I glanced at her to check her facial expression and to my horror she looked offended.

"Yes." I lied. "We are, is that a problem?" My voice was a low growl.

"No. I just thought you'd outgrown this phase." His voice was angry or embarrassed.

"What being gay?" I asked wanting to throw a knife at him as Chloe seemed to shrink at the tone of my voice. The alcohol seemed to be full force now and my words were flowing without any thought.

"No." He frowned. "Just Chloe I guess." He stated casually as if it was the most normal thing to say about a human being. The air seemed to be sucked out of the room as everyone but I gasped and I stood up so quick that my chair flew backwards.

"I told you not to say her fucking name! Who the fuck do you think you are?! Get the fuck out of here. Now." I screamed shaking violently. He didn't budge and this sent me even further into the pit of doom.

"No, you can't just push me away Becs." He deadpanned.

"Don't call me that." I hissed but my attention was caught by the sob that escaped from Chloe's body. I reached down and pulled her to her feet and hugged her. When I stepped back the anger flooded me instantly. "Leave now. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with this perfect woman and you have no say in that. Not that your opinion is valid anyways."

"Everything bad that happened to you, happened after you met Chloe and joined that stupid acapella group." His voice echoed in the silent room.

"You mean when I disowned you because I found a real family other than my siblings?" I retorted harshly. "The Bellas were the second best thing that has ever happened to me. They're always here for me no matter what. Chloe is the best thing that's happened to me despite whatever you've convinced yourself of."

"Where were they after the accident?" His voice rose a little and this time I was left with my mouth ajar when Chloe spun around and started yelling.

"We weren't ALLOWED to be there for Beca because you threatened legal issues. You tried to BRIBE me with money. With a check that was of ridiculous amount and you threatened to have Stacie's bar shut down! You didn't give us a fucking option." I shot a look at Stacie who's face looked ashamed and her eyes filled with tears.

"And you almost accepted it Ms. Beale." I looked back at my father and something snapped. I side stepped Chloe and twisted from her grip as I made my way around the table to my father's now standing frame, I didn't even think. The next sound was a loud crack and a thud before I felt CR's arms twist around my waist and yank me away from the man lying on the floor with blood covering his face.

"Leave. We'll talk later." Jared's voice spoke evenly to our father as I was torn from the scene. The pounding in my ears was overwhelming as I clenched my fists so tight I thought my hands would start to bleed. It wasn't until my heart rate slowed that I looked around the kitchen frantically when I recognized Chloe's soft sobs. Stacie stepped forward as her eyes locked on my face with concern. I waved her off gently and stumbled a step forward towards Chloe. The red head was leaned against the counter, face twisted in pain and eyes red from crying.

"Chlo?" My voice was smaller than I had intended. "I'm so sorry for what you just saw. I'm sorry for how evil his words were. I'm sorry for letting you be put in that position. You're not a phase. You never were." I inhaled sharply trying to steady my voice. "Chlo baby, look at me." I tilted her chin up slowly with my hand and took in the look of guilt in her eyes.

"That's not why I'm crying. I've seen you punch someone before. You did get arrested remember? I also already knew your dad wasn't a fan of me, he made that very clear after your accident. In more ways than one. But he's right… I took the check with me to LA. It was a very large amount of money. I thought about depositing it. But after a couple months of staring at it, I tore it up and burned it. It's just the fact that I actually considered it… Even if it was just for a moment." Chloe's confession sat lightly on my chest and I actually laughed when she finished talking. "What's so funny?" Chloe looked seriously confused.

"Chloe, I can't blame you for considering it. Hell I wouldn't blame you for taking it. But you didn't and that's what matters. You came back for me. Even though you knew that I might not even be here, metaphorically, when you got back. You didn't give up. You never give up and that's one of the millions of things I love about you." I kissed her cheek lightly and twisted my fingers into hers. Turning towards Stacie next.

"Beca I'm so sorr-" Stacie began before I clamped my hand over her mouth.

"Please, Stacie don't. I understand. That bar is your life legs. Please don't fret." I smiled softly but then a frown took over. "Did he threaten all the Bellas?" My eyes shifted to Chloe who looked around the room slowly trying to avoid eye contact.

"He threatened to call the music company I was writing songs for and ruin my name. Jessica was threatened with something to do with her teaching job. Something about some small issue he dug up and Ashley stayed away because he used Jessica's issue against her also. You know how attached they are. Lily was out of the country by then but he threatened to turn her in for arson or something. Amy has… A lot of things to be used against her but she was the most persistent when it came to arguing with him. Other than Chloe of course." CR offered when Chloe wouldn't answer me. I stiffened at the feeling of Chloe's hand letting go of mine. Panic struck me hard in the chest as I spun around. Chloe smiled gently before handing me a glass of water.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you Becs. Here drink this please." Chloe's voice was soothing even if her eyes looked tired. I drank the water quickly before excusing myself to make a few phone calls.

"Hey Jess, is Ashley there also?" I asked into the phone knowing they would be the easiest to start apologizing to. "Will you put me on speaker please? I have something to say to both of you." After confirming that she had done so I began to speak quickly. "I had no idea how low my father had stooped after the accident. I know you both wanted to be there to support me and I understand that he made that impossible and I just want you to know I'm so sorry for what he put you through. I just found out and if I had known sooner I swear I would have… Just how can I make it up to you?"

 _"_ _Oh Beca, stop please. We love you."_ Ashley spoke first, the thickness in her voice told me she was on the verge of tears.

 _"_ _Yeah Becs, it's okay. We're just so thankful to have you back in our lives. If I could go back, I would have done it differently. I swear. I'm so sorry for not being there. I'm even more sorry for keeping Ashley away from you. Please don't apologize none of this is your fault_." Jessica's peppy voice brought a smile to my face.

"You ever need **anything** please, I'm begging don't hesitate to ask." I responded softly. I love you was exchanged but before we disconnected Jessica took me off speaker and mumbled something to Ashley.

 _"_ _Are you being serious about that offer Beca? Because if so I do need help."_ Jessica's voice was tiny and a lump grew in my throat as I agreed without even hearing her request. _"_ _I need someone to take me to the hospital next week for some tests. I haven't told anyone about it and I really don't want to until after the results come back. But I don't want to go alone… I'm kind of scared to be honest."_ The sound of fear in her voice was obvious and I sighed.

"Jess, you don't even have to ask. Text me the details and I'll be there okay?" She thanked me over and over again before laughing.

 _"_ _Oh and one more thing. Happy thanksgiving Becs. I love you."_

"I love you too Jess." I disconnected the phone and dialed Amy's number.

 _"_ _Shawshank! What's up?"_ The Aussie accent and familiar nickname calmed my nerves. I could hear shouting in the background but it sounded playful.

 _"_ I just want you to know that I am so sorry about what my dad put you through following my accident." Amy and I had never been one for lengthy or wordy conversations so I knew I didn't need to go into details. My once bunk mate knew me better than most.

 _"_ _Short stack don't worry about it. Do you really think I actually stayed away? I snuck into your hospital room almost every day and I used to follow you around bar to bar. When you were too drunk to function I'd call you a cab and send you home. I was always there, lurking in the shadows like a black Mumba."_ I couldn't help but laugh, knowing that she wasn't making up some crazy unbelievable story. _"_ _For what it's worth though? I'm glad to have you back."_

"Happy thanksgiving Amy, tell Bumper the same for me." I disconnected quickly. Deciding to send Lily a text instead because I knew I wouldn't be able to hear her anyways. I walked back into the kitchen where I found Alex and Megan fighting and Jared staring with amusement in his eyes.

"What are you trying to say Megan?" Alex hissed.

"That you're big headed, self-centered and your ass has gotten huge." Megan spat. I couldn't help but burst into a fit of unappropriated laughter. "What the hell are you laughing at?"

"When you too argue, since you suck at fighting with each other. You always insult Alex's ass. Because you know it hurts her feelings and she insults your abs. Which are always on fleek but since you are super paranoid it always pisses you off. You both have perfect bodies, so it's really just pointless bickering." My older siblings shared a small glance and joined me in my giggles. I took my spot next to Chloe and she slipped her arm around me.

"All good?" I nodded. "Can I ask you something since we are all being so honest with each other?" I shrugged nonchalant and smiled. "Why did you tell him we are married?" I cocked my head and answered instantly.

"Because I want to be married. If it wasn't for the fact that I want to give you the big wedding, you deserve. We would have already gone to the court house and made this thing official. "It was honest and everyone in the room seemed to stop moving at the exact moment.

"Stacie and I did that. And had a ceremony later." CR offered and Chloe's eyes lit up to a new shade of blue.

"We'll talk about it tonight." Chloe whispered only loud enough for me to hear.


	14. New Confessions

I sighed as I dropped down onto my bed in the loft and stared at the ceiling. The drive back to the apartment wasn't far but because of the events involving my father, everyone had drank about half their weight in alcohol and with the spare rooms in my brother's spacious house we all agreed it would be best to crash here for the night. None of us having work tomorrow. I shifted onto my side when I felt the weight of Chloe's body press into the mattress next to me. "Hey." I mumbled drunkenly and gazed into the life changing blue eyes that made my heart race.

"Hi." She responded with a shy smile. "So Becs, I was wondering if we could go out to my aunt's tomorrow?" I raised an eyebrow knowing that with the exception of her parents Chloe wasn't very close with her family. "The girls are all going to be there and I wanna see my sister." I reached out to feel Chloe's forehead with the look of mock concern on my face.

"Are you feeling okay darling?" I asked with a grin when she slapped my hand away playfully.

"Yeah, just being around your family makes me wonder if I'm doing the right thing by staying away from mine. I mean you don't have to come but… I mean I know you haven't met my family yet. But if we're going to get married I think we should go… I mean… I think…" I pressed my lips to hers to stop her from stuttering anymore and smiled when she blinked her eyes after pulling away.

"Of course we can go. I'd love to come with you, babe. I don't know why you even found it necessary to ask." She smiled and nuzzled her body under my arm and into my chest. "Lets get some sleep." I mumbled before reaching behind her and flipping the light off. "I love you Chlo."

* * *

 ** _"_** ** _Beca, come on get out of bed." I could hear Chloe's voice but I couldn't shake the darkness in my head. I couldn't force my eyes open. I couldn't focus. I felt terribly sick and I wanted to sleep it off. "Beca lets go babe! Come on we've got dinner and then that award thing to go to. If you want to look remotely like a human being, you need to get up and shower." Chloe's voice sounded like it surrounded me but like I was also under water. Then nothing. Silence. "Beca?" Panic was etched in this time and I wanted to comfort her but I couldn't. Maybe I should have drank so much, I felt heavy. Like I was drowning in alcohol maybe. "Baby wake up? You're scaring me." Chloe's voice sounded like she was crying and then there was just nothing._**

 ** _"_** ** _Rebeca Mitchell? I'm doctor Harris. How are you feeling?" The voice flooded my ears unwelcomed and I blinked angrily at the harsh lighting of the room. Looking around trying to figure out my surroundings. Chloe stood behind the man in the white coat, staring with a guilty and fearful look on her face. She dropped her gaze to her hands when my eyes locked on mine. "Ms. Mitchell?"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Beca." I managed to croak out, my throat feeling like someone shoved a white hot fire poker down it. I reached up in automatic reflex and Chloe instantly rushed to my side._**

 ** _"_** ** _Beca." The doctor said firmly before a small smile took place on his aged face. "We had to pump your stomach and flush your system. It's hard to believe that someone as tiny as you could consume so much alcohol. Should we be concerned about you or did you just misjudge how much you'd drank?" His question caught me off guard, I mean yeah I drank to drown out the feelings and thoughts but I didn't want to actually DIE. I have the perfect girlfriend, the best friends, I love school and there's my family and music. Yeah I hate my father and sometimes wish I could trade him and my mother places but that didn't mean I want to die. I glared at him, angry again._**

 ** _"_** ** _Why in the hell would I want to die. I have Chloe, the Bellas, my family and a pretty good life. Yeah I may have rough patches when I drink too much but that doesn't mean I want to kill myself for fuck sake." My tone came out as a hiss even if I didn't mean it to._**

 ** _"_** ** _Beca Mitchell, watch your tone." Chloe finally spoke. I shot her a look and she floored me with one of her own._**

 ** _"_** ** _Sorry." I mumbled and the doctor told me I had to stay for twenty-four hours for observation and then Chloe could take me home. Chloe didn't leave other than to make a few apologetic phone calls and to get coffee. When she took me home it was back to the Bella house. I scoffed at the scene on the front porch. Stacie was standing on a chair with a leg holding Cynthia back, holding something high above her head. Jessica and Ashley meditating in the grass, Emily scribbling furiously into a notepad. Lily hanging from the tree outside of one of the windows. Flo was flipping tricks far too close to Ashley. Another day in the life of the Bella's. "Where's Amy?" I questioned after we sat in the car for a moment. Chloe seemed upset. Right on cue my door was yanked open and I was torn from my seat by the collar of my shirt._**

 ** _"_** ** _Shawshank! If you ever scare me like that again I swear I'll feed you to the anacondas!" Tears threatened the usually hilarious blonde's eyes. She was holding me off the ground and I struggled to get free. Hearing the grumbling off all the Bellas from behind me. Amy hugged me tightly and put me down with a deathly serious glare. "You're my best friend shorty." I nodded and she dropped it._**

 ** _"_** ** _Beca!" Ashley and Jessica shouted at the same time as they both hugged me tightly, I shot Chloe a plea for help but she just rolled her eyes and shrugged. At the same time both girls pulled back and one after the other slapped me hard in the face. "Don't ever scare us like that again." They growled together. I glanced over to Lily who just shook her head and walked away. Emily stepped up next, thrusting a piece of paper at me. Tears streaming down the young and usually energetic girl's face._**

 ** _"_** ** _Don't read it now." She whispered before kissing my cheek and returning to sit on the grass by Ash and Jess. Cynthia Rose walked up next and shook her head._**

 ** _"_** ** _Dude, you scared the shit out of us. Man if you need someone to talk to you know I've got your back." I nodded not having any words for the darker woman. Stacie stepped between CR and I, a lump suddenly materialized in my throat as her piercing green eyes glared down at me._**

 _ **"**_ _ **Fuck. You." I stepped back after she spat the words at me. My best friend had cursed when speaking to me. But she'd never used that kind of language when it was directed at me. Nor had she ever looked like she wanted to kill me like that. "I hate you. I hate what you did." Chloe tried to speak up and Stacie floored her with a simple glare. "You could have died. Do you know what that would have done to us? All of us? You're the older sister Emily never had. Mine and Amy's best friend. Chloe's girlfriend and if you ask me future wife. The rest of the Bellas look to you as a leader and a friend. So FUCK YOU for trying to leave us." Tears poured out of Stacie's eyes as her face contorted into a look I had only seen once before and my heart broke. It was the exact look she had when she got the phone call saying her grandparents had passed away. "You would have left me after me losing everyone last year?" Her voice was lower now, practically a whisper and I couldn't find my voice. I just stared in shock. Stacie spun around and ran off toward the house but I was glued into place.**_

* * *

"STACIE!" I woke up screaming causing Chloe to bolt upright in bed and take either side of my face in her hands. Tears were streaming uncontrollably from my eyes; I couldn't seem to suck in enough air between struggling sobs.

"Beca baby what's wrong?" Chloe's eyes searched my face but my chest felt like it was collapsing and I couldn't focus on her. I heard a loud thud and then heavy footsteps from the hallway below the loft. Another loud thud and a slew of curse words before the light to the room switched on and reveled a panicked Stacie Conrad, hair askew and clothes wrinkled. Chloe looked to Stacie franticly and Stacie quickly climbed into bed beside us.

"Becs, breathe. Like me, in and out." Stacie forced me to focus on her breathing pattern and when I calmed down a little she stared for a moment. "Which one was it?" I didn't want to answer because I was embarrassed. I had a lot of nightmares that caused me to wake up in a full blown panic attack. It was always the same reoccurring four or five dreams. The Stacie dream. The dream about my mom dying. A dream about me killing myself and the worst of all is the one where Chloe leaves me. I looked at her pleading for her to figure it out so I didn't have to say it. "You screamed my name instead of Chloe's. I'm assuming it was the dream where I told you to fuck off." I nodded slowly and saw the confused look on Chloe's face. I understood that she wouldn't get why that had left me in such a panic but I still didn't trust my voice. I squeezed the taller woman's hand hoping she'd explain to Chloe for me. "Beca has these night terrors sometimes. They happened when she was stressed in college. Sophomore and junior year when we shared a room in the Bella house she was wake up screaming my name, your name or her mom's name. She once explained to me that her biggest fears are losing you or I. She'd die for us. We're all she has outside of her siblings and on more than one drunken occasion she said if it came down to it she'd pick us before them." I blushed as Stacie told Chloe my deepest secret and Chloe looked guilty.

"Wh-why do you look guilty?" I managed to stutter. Chloe's eyes flashed quickly back and forth Stacie and I.

"I didn't even know. I'm supposed to marry you and I didn't know you have night terrors. I also didn't know you felt that way about Stacie and I." I sighed and felt tears begin to fall from my eyes.

"Chloe don't beat yourself up. Beca was really embarrassed by them in college so she made me swear on my relationship with Cynthia not to tell anyone. And since they only happen when she's super upset or stressed. It's a good sign she hasn't had them in front of you before." Stacie tried to console my fiancé and I sat there helplessly clutching Stacie's forearm.

"Okay." The word sounded struggled but Chloe's shoulders perked up with a determination. "What do I do when she has them?" The question caught me off guard but a huge grin took over Stacie's face as she looked at the redhead with love on her face.

"First you have to remind her of her surroundings. That's her biggest panic is she wakes up and doesn't remember where she is. Then you remind her that she's awake and you're real. Help her focus her breathing and don't force her to talk. Because that usually sets her back a little. Then just keep light and casual contact." Her eyes drifted down to my hand which was still clutching her arm like it was my anchor to life. Chloe seemed to notice the grip for the first time and nodded. "Beca are you okay?" Stacie turned her attention to me and I gave her a hesitated and weak nod. She started to get up.

"Please stay!" I practically whined as she tried to slip out of my grip. Stacie looked to Chloe for permission and the redhead just nodded. Stacie climbed under the blanket and laid down, fluffy one of the pillows under her head and motioned to me to lay down with her. I did, rolling on my side and pressing my back into her. Chloe laid her face inches from mine and pulled my arm over her side, I pulled her impossibly closer so she was flush against my front. I gave her a look that asked if she was sure if she was okay that Stacie stayed and she giggled.

"I love you." She mumbled. "Besides I was always a little curious about sleeping with you and Stacie." Chloe winked and I felt the rumbled of laughter from Stacie's chest behind me.

"You should have just asked Chlo." Stacie teased softly and we all giggled before I sighed and closed my eyes to drift off to sleep. Feeling lighter now that Chloe knew about the night terrors. Knowing they'd both still be there when I woke up.

* * *

"Stacie?" Chloe's voice wakes me but I kept my eyes shut as I felt the taller woman's arm loosen its grip on my side and reach out to Chloe in response. "Thank you for everything you've done for both of us." I felt both Chloe and Stacie shift so they could make eye contact over my body. "I can't imagine our life without you. I-I don't even want to try. I love you."

"Don't thank me, I can't tell you how many times this bundle of joy has held me when I cried. I remember the first time. She was so upset that the Bellas had assigned her to be my roommate. We weren't really close then. We all knew she wanted to room with you but because you guys weren't dating yet we decided it wouldn't be a good idea." Chloe giggled softly and I tried to make sure they didn't know I was awake because I wanted to keep listening.

"That was probably a good idea, I don't know if I would have been able to refrain myself form jumping her bones. And if things hadn't gone down at Beca's pace then I'm not sure we'd be here, together." I had to force myself not to hum in agreement.

"It was after a pregnancy scare. I was on birth control but I had missed my period and I was horrified. I took a test and got a false positive. All I could think was that I wasn't supposed to get pregnant in college. I had such big dreams for myself. Which ironically I never got to follow because I took on the bar but that's beside the point. It wasn't even a hook up, some dirty bastard took advantage of me. I couldn't stop crying and I hadn't told anyone what happened. Beca found me crying after it went down and took me home from the party. She didn't ask anything but she sat on the floor next to my bed all night staring at the door like she was protecting me." Stacie paused to steady her voice and I knew this was hard for her to talk about. I was a little surprised when she let out a hearty laugh. "Two days after that party you were being such a bitch to us, you exploded on Beca and told her how mad you were that you thought we hooked up. She took the blame without arguing with you because she didn't want to let my secret out. But anyways I was hysterical in the bathroom outside our room when she found me. She saw the test on the counter and she ran outside and threw it away. When she came back she just pulled me into our room. Helped me put sweats and a shirt on and got me in bed. She climbed in next to me and pulled me in. I almost died of shock because the only person she was ever physical with without arguing was you. But she held me. Told me that she'd be there through it all. That the Bellas would help with the baby and that the baby would have a house full of the best moms ever. Except she wasn't sure if Lily should ever be left alone with it." Stacie stopped talking and I could hear the gears in Chloe's head grinding at the information overload.

"Beca and you never hooked up?" Was all Chloe could muster and the tall brunette burst out laughing.

"No, she never even kissed me. Well she did once when she was drunk because I dared her and called her a bitch baby if she didn't. Chloe's hand seemed to pull me closer as she listened, but in a loving kind of way. "She held my hand at the doctor's appointment after suggesting I should take a more reliable test. She even cried when the doctor told me I wasn't pregnant. That's the night we all got so wasted at the Bella house that you had to climb a tree to get a drunk Jessica out when she got stuck." Chloe laughed heavily this time. "Beca is an amazing person and I can't wait for the two of you to get married and have kids." Stacie added, receiving another laugh.

"I'm not sure Beca wants kids Stacie. But I wouldn't mind little Mitchell-Beale babies running around." Chloe's voice was soft and I couldn't stop the words from tumbling sleepily from my mouth.

"I want babies Chlo. Your babies." I blinked my eyes open in time to see shock written across her face. "Just not today. Maybe in a couple years?" Chloe nodded and I pressed lazily back into Stacie. I rolled over and blinked at how close our faces were. "Thank you for helping last night, I'm sorry I made you stay." Stacie didn't even flinch, a wide grin falling in place she just shrugged.

"Anytime shorty. But we should probably get up, I'm sure my wife is wondering where I wandered off to." Chloe laughed and I knew she was thinking about a frantic CR searching for a sleepy drunk Stacie. It wouldn't have been the first time Stacie woke up still half drunk and wandered off to some random place to sleep. Like the time we found her curled up on the kitchen table senior year.

"Wait how did you know I screamed your name?" I asked furrowing my brow at the thought of how quickly she found her way into our room. She blushed a little but didn't offer a response. "Tell me." I was firm in my demand knowing that something was wrong.

"I had a nightmare too. I woke up and was staring at the ceiling when I heard you shout my name." Stacie responded softly. Before I could ask she shook her head to cut me off. "I had a nightmare that you…" Her eyes drifted to Chloe as she seemed to trip on what she wanted or didn't want to say. "I had a nightmare that you Chloe came tripping down the hallway covered in blood. You killed yourself. Chloe just stared at her hands, at your blood." I didn't know who to stare at so I just sat up, attempting to scramble out of bed. The blankets being tucked under the other two women in an attempt that they wouldn't end up without warmth in the middle of the night caused me to be without an escape route. Stacie's hand grabbed my elbow and Chloe's fell on my shoulder. I sat there clenching my eyes closed and sighed.

"It's okay baby." Chloe cooed and I sighed again while pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Shit Chlo, we need to get ready if we're going to your family's thing today." I spun around to look at my fiance.

"It's only seven Becs. Don't even worry about it. We've got plenty of time." As Chloe spoke I heard feet connecting with the step ladder and then all of a sudden all the women in the house were piled on my bed.

"Morning Becs!" Megan shouted from my lap causing me to wince. Alex's lips connected in a sloppy wet kiss on my cheek and Cynthia got comfortable in Stacie's lap.

"Wow Beca Mitchell. You must have some kind of charm or something. Is this the most women you've had in your bed or do you need to tell me something?" Chloe teased as Alex climbed on top of her and ruffled her hair.

"Why are you all awake? What if Chloe and I had been having sex?" I groaned as Megan wiggled her way under the blankets.

"First off Chloe is smart enough to pull the steps up if you're about to go at it. Second Chloe isn't exactly quiet. Sorry Chlo." Megan grinned deviously at Chloe. "Third our baby sister is never here anymore and we miss early morning snuggles." I couldn't help but laugh at the innocent look that Megan plastered on her face.

"Besides, if you and Chloe had been getting each other off why would me wife be up here?" CR teased and Stacie mock gasped.

"About that…" Stacie's voice was low and sexual. I reached over the pile of bodies and slapped her on the shoulder. A round of laughter bust through the room when Stacie shrieked. "What?! I was just joking." We laid in silence, a mess of moving limbs as the girls all snuggled in to get comfortable.

"Will you guys sing for us?" Alex asked softly even though she looked like she was about to fall asleep. Chloe giggled as she lifted her free arm so I could lean into her side. "Do the cup song." Alex mumbled and Chloe started to sing. The three of us joining in as she took lead.

"I missed that." Megan mumbled, looking up at me from my lap. If I was laying with anyone else this would be uncomfortable but in this moment I really couldn't think of anywhere else I'd rather be.

"I love you guys." I mumbled before twisted my hand into Chloe's.


	15. Meet the Beales

**A little about Chloe's family. Hope y'all like it! Let me know?**

* * *

"Chlo we don't have to do this if you don't want to." I whispered as Chloe clutched my hand in my BMW as she stared at the house to our right. She sighed heavily before turning to me with a cautious smile on her face.

"Thank you for doing this with me." She whispered so softly my heart fluttered. I lifted her hand to my face and kissed her knuckles, glancing down at the ring before speaking.

"That ring means I'll be there. Through anything. Forever." I stated firmly as I watched Chloe post a small smile on her face.

"Do you really want to have kids Becs?" She asked with a new twinkle in her eye.

"Only with you." I confirmed receiving a small giggle as she turns back to the house. She sighs heavily and I take that as a sign to step out of the car. I walk around the BMW slowly and open my fiancé's door. "Come on Red. I've got you, no worries." I offered her my hand and she took it without hesitation, twisting her fingers tightly in mine. Reaching up with her free hand she adjusted the collar on my shirt and then kissed my cheek softly. "Ready, future Mrs. Mitchell?"

"We still need to talk about that." Chloe teased lightly before slowly leading the way to the door. She hesitated with her hand hovering over the door and looked at me as if to ask what to do. I pushed her hand down gently and knocked for her. The door swung wide open and a woman about Chloe's size with the same bright blue eyes appeared with the signature Beale grin plastered on my face.

"Chloe!" She threw her arms around Chloe without hesitating and Chloe seemed to relax, I watched quietly trying to keep Chloe in a comfortable zone. "Chloe's here everyone!" The woman shouted and all of a sudden it sounded like a heard of elephants were running towards us. "You must be…" She looked down at our locked hands and smiled widely again. "Beca." I nodded and hugged her carefully as a group of people showed up behind her. Chloe let go of my hand to pass out a round of hugs and somehow in the frenzy I was grabbed by the elbow and tugged into the gorgeous house. I took a seat outside on the patio and watched as Chloe's family asked her a million questions, in which Chloe answered most of them without hesitation.

"Chloe, what are you doing for work?" One man who I think was her uncle asked.

"Oh Aubrey and I teach theater together at the university." There it was that megawatt grin. This is the Chloe Beale experience. "I didn't think the college would consider us but after my work out in LA they said that they didn't think anyone was as qualified as I was. Of course Bree's resume was just as impressive." She added quickly.

"And are you and Bree still living together?" Her brother asked with half his attention focused on the curly headed child bouncing in his lap. This time Chloe's smile faltered a little and panic filled her eyes for just a moment before she smiled again.

"No, I've been living with Beca for a while now. What almost a year?" Chloe turned to me with an apologetic look that really confused me.

"Give or take." I joked never missing a beat. Chloe shifted lightly towards me and I rested my arm on the back of her chair.

"Oh really? What is it that you do Beca?" Her uncle asked without much thought. I squirmed a little under the attention but cleared my throat to calm down.

"I'm a music producer and manager at a recording studio not too far from Barden. It started as a radio station and then we expanded. In the expansion I got promoted from event manager to producer." Chloe's grin was back and my nerves eased.

"Wow, that's… very impressive. How do you and Chlo know each other?" When the question my ears it all made sense. Chloe's family didn't know Chloe was gay, let alone that we are together. Chloe seemed to be struggling with her words.

"We met my freshman year of college at Barden. Chloe managed to convince me to audition for the Bellas. And that's that. I spent the next four years singing and dancing with a group of amazing women. Best decision I've ever made." I flashed a reassuring smile at Chloe who seemed to relax but was tense just moments later when the next question was blurted out.

"Chloe? Is that an engagement ring?" There it was, the unavoidable question. Chloe looked like she had seen a ghost. I knew I couldn't answer the question for her so I just sat there, I dropped my hand into hers and squeezed it as she stared at the ground.

"Did I just hear that my daughter has an engagement ring on?" I woman came floating into view from the house, I gawked awkwardly as the woman's features registered in my mind. She looked like Chloe just with more smile lines. That's what Chloe was going to look like in 20 years. My jaw practically hit the floor when another face came into view. I looked back and forth between my love and the two women standing in front of us. Chloe's face filled with shame.

"Beca this is my mom Marie and my twin sister Cathy." Chloe's voice was small and broken. I regained my self-control and closed my mouth. Standing quickly to shake their hands.

"I'm Beca." I stated in a professional tone before Chloe took her place next to me. Awkwardly hugging the pair. Confusion set in as I watched the interaction. As Chloe pulled away her mom snagged her hand and raised an eyebrow.

"That's a pretty huge rock Chloe. Who's the poor fella?" Her mom's voice was smothered in a deep southern accent, Chloe flinched at the question.

"Umm…" Chloe seemed to shrink as the entire group's attention suddenly weighed heavy on her. I took a deep breath.

"Actually, Chloe and I are engaged Mrs. Beale." There it was, that was it. I said it. A few gasps and a few whistles escaped the now overwhelming family. Blue eyes bore into me. Some accepting and excited, others were judgmental and I could even feel a few sizing me up.

"Well, that's not much of a surprise." Cathy laughed. I shot her a questioning look as Chloe's hand clung to mine for support. "Last time I saw her she wouldn't shut up about some alt girl that was in the Bellas. And most of the picture frames in her room were either of her and random Bellas. Or of you two." She offered, her eyes laying heavily on the identical looking woman next to me. They may be twins but she defiantly didn't have the same over bubbly personality that I'd grown accustom to from Chloe.

"Are you the reason Chloe ran off to LA and stopped talking to us?" Marie asked harshly, I flinched because I wasn't sure how to answer. In a way she was right but at the same time I wasn't sure. Chloe stiffened next to me.

"It wasn't like that mama. I… Beca… Beca was…" Chloe looked at me with a pleading look.

"Ma'am, if you'd like to take a seat I'll explain everything to everyone. Answer any questions you have. Family is very important to me. You're Chloe's family and you deserve to know the truth." I scanned the group and everyone seemed to nod at me respectively. I turned to Chloe and smiled softly, trying to remove the frown that was twisted onto her lips. "Come on Chlo, sit down. We'll walk everyone through it together." Chloe frowned again.

"I need a beer. Do you want one?" Her aunt asked facing us as she stood. Chloe nodded and then mumbled something about coming with her. So I sat down and looked at her mother expectantly waiting for the questions to begin.

"How old are you Beca?" Was the first question.

"Twenty-four." I answered automatically to the painless question.

"What do you do for a living?" Her sister asked.

"She's a music producer." Her uncle answered as he threw a ball absently for the dog. Her mom raised an eyebrow. "They met at college through the Bellas. Beca and Chloe were co-captains." He offered like he could read her mind. I could hear Chloe quietly talking to her aunt in the house.

"What are your intentions with my daughter?" Marie asked with a warning edging into her tone.

"To marry her, give her everything she needs and wants, support her dreams no matter how eccentric they are, have a family and live a long healthy and happy life. Most of all to make sure that no matter what we do or where life takes us that she never stops smiling and laughing. Eventually Chloe and I want to have kids and settle down." The words flowed from my heart without a filter and I saw a small grin spread on her uncle's face. Everyone had gathered in a circle and taken a seat or was sitting on the ground to play with the children while they listened. Chloe returned with a beer for her and some cocktail for me. I smiled at her and she seemed to have to force one in return. Her aunt patted my shoulder before taking her place on the bench next to her husband.

"Why did Chloe move to LA? I know you didn't go with her." Her sister shot out harshly.

"I would have, that was actually the plan. We had picked out an apartment and applied to jobs. We were prepared and ready to go but it didn't work out that way." I tried to explain knowing they were expecting more details than that.

"You didn't go though. You let my sister move to LA on her own. You know what could have happened to her in a city like that? She quit talking to us when she left." Anger was evident in her voice as she got defensive.

"It wasn't her fault." Chloe snapped and everyone's eyes widened. "Beca and I were engaged before. She was supposed to go and then something happened okay? It's not really any of your damn business Cathy."

"Whoa, Chlo calm down. It's okay." I tried to calm her down.

"No Beca, don't try to defend them. It's none of their business what happened and you really don't have any obligation to explain." For the first time I realized just how much Chloe was hurting because of what happened and I knew it was just as hard to talk about for her as it was for myself. This was her family though and I felt like Chloe had a right to have them in our lives if she chose to do so. I spoke to them directly, ignoring Chloe's anger.

"I got in a drinking accident. I was being reckless and I was upset so I got drunk and I had gone to the roof of a building to be alone. My brother… One of my four siblings. The oldest and probably the one that I was closest to followed me. I almost fell over the edge. He saved me. In doing so he fell and died, I fell and hit my head. Which gave me temporary amnesia. I forgot who Chloe was, the Bellas. I forgot all my memories from Barden except my schooling. In a selfish attempt to hide my brother's death from me. My family threatened Chloe and the rest of the Bellas so they'd stay away from me. The doctor thought that Chloe being around might trigger my memories and my family didn't want me to blame myself for my older brother's death." I paused to let everyone catch up, quickly speaking again before anyone could interrupt because I wasn't sure I could finish if they did. "Of course they told me he had killed himself. This all happened less than a week before Chloe and I were supposed to move. Right after graduation actually. Chloe left because my father told her it would be best for me. Which of course wasn't true. I spent the next two years at the bottom of a whiskey bottle. When Chloe came back into my life it was rough. My mind flooded with these dreams and memories that I didn't understand and my world was torn apart again. If it wasn't for Chlo I would be living a lie. When I found out the truth I pushed Chloe away and we almost ended for good but you know Chloe. When she sets her mind to something she doesn't give up." My last sentence got a few mumbles about what and understatement that was and a couple laughs.

"Why did she leave though?" Her mom still didn't understand and it wasn't a question I could answer.

"If I couldn't be with Beca, if she didn't remember me. I thought that going to LA and living the life we had planned together would make me feel closer to her. Maybe one day she would wake up and remember and I would have her life ready and waiting for her." Chloe admitted, I looked at her a little shocked at the new information. "Her dad tried to pay me off with a check which I of course didn't cash. When I spent two years out there, I was miserable. I thought that maybe having the new Beca, the one that didn't remember me would be better than not having her at all. I thought we could start over and I'd take whatever I could get. But as soon as I came back… Well that's when the accident happened. And Beca helped me through it. She found out in a really hard way what happened and then disappeared for a while but then she came back and we've been pretty great since then." I squeezed her hand and smiled gently as tears settled in my eyes. I blinked them back as everyone sat stunned in silence. "I didn't stay in touch with anyone but Stacie and Amy because I couldn't handle explaining any of this to anyone. Stacie and Amy were my eyes and ears on Beca while I was away and when Amy explained how far Beca had fallen I had to come back. I couldn't handle her feeling alone when I knew I could help."

"So you're an alcoholic?" Marie asked, I blinked a rapidly at the question. I didn't think I was but thinking back on the information we had just shared I didn't know what to say.

"She is. We're working on it." Chloe answered firmly.

"You really want to spend your life with an alcoholic Chloe?" Her mom was brutal and now I understood why Chloe was so reluctant to come inside.

"Marie, I don't think Beca's demons concern you. The poor kid has been through a lot." Mrs. Beale's sister shot at her harshly. Marie shrugged the question off and pressed on.

"Where are your parents Beca?"

"My mom is dead. My father abandoned me." I choked out.

"Beca, we don't have to do this. Lets go." Chloe began to stand up and I pulled her back down.

"If they want to know, then I'll tell them. I don't have any secrets Chloe." I stated firmly before turning back to the pair directly in front of me.

"And you think you'll be a good parent with a background like that?" Her mom practically laughed and my stomach twisted painfully. These were thoughts I'd been wrestling with for a long time now.

"Actually ma'am with my background? I think I could use my experiences to be the best parent possible. My mom was an angel; she was a perfect mom. She attended all of our sports events, all my choir concerts, field trips, PTA meetings and anything else we managed to sign her up for. Between five kids who were all born in a six-year period she never missed an event." I sighed at the thought. "My dad was a business man who dedicated his life to taking care of us all. He was also a family man and that didn't change until my mother passed away. She got sick but to the very end all she cared about was being the best mom possible." Her mom mulled this over for a moment before asking again why Chloe would be with an alcoholic.

"Beca has always been Beca. There's no one like her in this world and I loved that from the moment I met her. The first time I saw her I knew she was IT for me." She smiled at the memory of the activities fair. "She was moody and distant. A tortured artist. She was angry and alone but once I got through those walls she became the most loving and caring person I'd ever met. She got arrested once because she was protecting the Bellas in a full out brawl after a competition. She stayed up on endless accounts to take care of girls after breakups, family deaths, she held hair for overly drunk Bellas while they cried about stupid shit. She even punched one of my exes in the face when she found out he'd been bothering me at a party. Beca might have some issues but she's perfect to me. She treats me like a queen and she never even complains when I have nervous breakdowns." Chloe pulled in a long breath and continued. "She's seen hell and she's shook hands with the devil. She's seen darkness and pain and she still does nothing but exude love from her core. If you can't accept that, accept the love I feel for her… The consuming need to love and protect her. If you can't accept… Us." She motioned between us with her free hand. "Then I don't want you to be a part of my life." Chloe finished with a ragged breath. Her aunt and uncle stood quickly, followed by all of her cousins.

"I don't know about the two of you." Her aunt eyed Marie and Cathy sideways. "But I support anything you do Chloe. Whether it's a career choice or Beca. If you love Beca then we all love her too." Her uncle nodded and three of her cousins cheered. Cathy seemed torn, her eyes darting back and forth between Chloe, Marie and I.

"Come on Cathy, I think Chloe's made her point clear." Marie turned to walk towards the house but Cathy stood glued to her spot, wide eyed. Chloe's stare locked on hers with a clear sign of acceptance on whatever the woman chose to do. "Cathy I said we are leaving!" Marie shouted.

"No mom," Cathy whispered. "I want to stay here with Chloe. I miss my sister and obviously she didn't just leave for selfish reasons. Chloe was alone and broken for two years and we didn't even try to help her. We didn't even ask. We just assumed and nothing about that was right." Cathy stepped up and reached out for both our hands. "When is my sister getting married? What colors are the wedding? Can I be in it?" And the water works began. The twins began to cry in each other's arms as their mom just scoffed and stormed out.


	16. Memories

**A/NSoooo I seriously apologize about my absence... I've had a few family deaths... Got into a new relationship. Moved. Had two jobs and a promotion and now I'm apartment hunting with my (hopefully soon to be fiancé). I promise a longer and better update soon. I just needed a quick transition because I lost my train of thought for where I was headed after this. But I think I figured it out.**

"Becs! How are you? How's Chlo? Oh sorry.." Jess smiled brightly at Cathy. "I didn't see you come in." Cathy laughed hysterically when Jessica pulled her into a tight hug.

"Jess, umm… This is Chloe's twin Cathy." The blonde apologized porously after she jerked away, causing another fit of laughter. "That's why we're here, can't have me coming home and kissing the wrong twin." I joked lightly before cringing at the thought.

"Yeah, although Red is a sweetheart I don't really think she'd take too well to you swapping spit with her sister." Jessica shrugged playfully as she turned towards Cathy with a knowing look.

"I figured I could go back to blonde, like this." Cathy showed the younger woman a picture on the screen of her phone before she beamed happily at the grin that spread on Jessica's face. Jessica giggled and pulled her towards the chair by her wrist.

"I'm so excited! I've always wanted to color Chloe's hair but never did because I couldn't bear the thought of her not being a redhead anymore." I leaned against the door frame and watched on as my small blonde friend began to chat happily with Cathy. Reminding me of when we first moved into the Bella house and how as we unpacked, even after everyone was exhausted and collapsed on the floor, Jessica never stopped babbling. The memory made me miss our days at Barden, overwhelmed by a sense of sadness I stepped outside and quickly dialed Stacie's number.

 _"_ _Hey shorty what's up?"_ Stacie's tone was slow and drawn out, relaxing almost. I realized in that moment that I was having a hard time breathing. Not sure what to say in fear of bursting into tears I started to count silently in my head. _"_ _Mitchell, what's wrong? Where are you?"_ The panic in my best friend's voice snapped me back to reality. I couldn't even grasp what would make me freak out like this. The memories flooding my mind were all beautiful and welcomed. That's when my heart felt like it stopped and I heard Cathy scream.


	17. Ask Me Again If I Survive Tonight

"Jess?" I mumbled through the doorway. She locked eyes with me as I stood stiff in the doorway, "I have some work things I need to take care of. Do you mind?" Both girls looked at each other and laughed while shrugging. "Jessica, no embarrassing stories. Don't scar the poor girl okay?" I spun quickly on my heels and headed for the car as fast as my legs would take me.

"Whoa shorty? What's going on?" Stacie set down the glass she was cleaning as soon as I stumbled in through the doorway. I lost my footing and fell flat on my stomach and every ounce of strength I had washed away as tears streamed down my face. Stacie scrambled from behind the bar and lifted me to my feet. I stared at her, mouth agape, eyes glazed over. "Becs? Talk to me."

"She deserves better than you." I repeated. The words of Chloe's mother echoed over and over in my head. "Stacie I'm so stupid. She deserves better than me. She deserves better than anything I could ever offer her." I finally focused my eyes on my best friend. Just as every nerve on my body felt like a nuclear bomb went off inside of my chest. Every rib in my chest shattered and my lungs forgot how to breathe. "I-I-I can't..." I grabbed at my chest as the edges of my vision began to go dark. "Stacie I-I can't do this!"

"Hey, now. You fucking listen to me Beca Mitchell." I struggled to squirm out of her grip with no luck. "You are the single most beautiful human being. You have such a beautiful heart. Do you remember that night that Chloe's mom showed up at the college to bring her home? All because she thought she was wasting her time on the Bella's. No one could find Chloe after she had disappeared. The Bella's were exhausted and were about to call it a night. You didn't give up, you kept searching until you found a very drunk and very broken Chloe Beale sitting in the bottom of the riff off pool. She wouldn't come home. You stayed there with her until 8 am. You were cold and afraid and you didn't leave her. Do you remember that?" My head felt like it was splitting in half.

"I remember it like it was yesterday. I was so terrified. I was afraid she was hurt and I was afraid her mom was going to take her away from us." The memory flooded my mind, a memory I had lost in the accident.

 **"Chloe?" I whispered as I walked up to the broken angel in front of me. "Chloe, I just wanted to say I was sorry. We should have told your mom to get lost or something. We should have protected you." Chloe wasn't looking at me. She laughed softly before she lifted a bottle to her lips. "Chloe what are you doing?" I asked horrified, I'd never seen her like this before.**

 **"Do you remember when we met Beca?" Her voice was raspy and broken. She took a long pull again. I plopped down and took the bottle away gently. She turned her head slightly but wouldn't look at me.**

 **"Of course I do. I thought you were the strangest, most beautiful human being I'd ever seen." I sighed. "I never imagined this is where that day would lead." I answered honestly. Chloe stared at her hands. "I was so ready to be in LA. I didn't expect this life. The Bellas or you." I shivered in the early morning light.**

 **"My mother dropped in that day. That morning before I met you, she came by and told me that I was a waste of space and she should have given me up for adoption. That she had made the biggest mistake in the world by having me." Chloe grabbed the bottle from my hands and screwed the top off. "She left a single razor blade and a bottle of pain killers on my desk. As she walked out of my room she said that if I ever loved her I would do this one single favor for her. I had decided that I was going to kill myself that night but then I met you. You made me feel something extraordinary. It was addicting, you were addicting. Being in your presence made me forget the years of emotional torment that she made me feel. All the horrible things she said, all the bruises and cuts she left in my skin. Being around you made me feel like I had a purpose. I wanted to be your friend. It made sense. Then I fell in love with you Beca. But right now? I feel exactly as I did that day, watching my mom walk out of my room in horror. Beca? What's the point?" Chloe looked me dead in the eyes and I had to swallow hard to contain the shock when my eyes laid upon the gash underneath Chloe's sapphire eyes. I opened my mouth and closed it twice.**

 **"Chloe, the point? I need you more now than ever and forget your fucking mom. Chlo, you are literally the most wonderful woman to ever walk this earth. You are beautiful, funny and so fucking compassionate. You love so strongly it's almost intimidating. You have this passion and desire to help other people. You never give up. I love that. The point Chloe is that I want to spend everyday of the rest of my life with you. Chloe, I want to marry you." The words flew out of my mouth before I even had time to think about it. "I was going to wait. I have a ring back at the house. This isn't at all how I planned on asking you."**

 **"Beca." Chloe stared at me emotionless. "Ask me again if I survive the night." Chloe's words cut deep but I understood that she didn't want to make a promise she couldn't keep.**

 **"Well, then I'll sit here with you and make sure you do." I stated as I took a pull off the bottle and leaned back on my hands.**

"I remember Stacey. What do I do?" I asked with tears streaming down my face, each cutting deeper than the last. I'd never felt so lost or confused in my life. The wait of the forgotten memory weighed even heavier on my chest than I could handle.

"What are you going to do Beca? You have a decision to make. Once you make it there's no going back." Stacey stared at me, her gaze leaving a whole different kind of pain in my chest. I got up without a word and walked out the door. Staggering blindly through my tears into the road. The rain had begun to fall heavily now, the cold water was the first sense of relief I'd felt all afternoon. I pulled my phone out and dialed a number. The voice on the other end centered my breathing.

"Becs? What's up?" Chloe's voice cut through the fog. I numbness had began to creep through my soul.

"Chloe, what's the point? If I'll never be good enough for you, if I'll never truly deserve your love, what's the point?" My voice sounded foreign to me as I hit my knees in the middle of the empty street. I couldn't find the strength to move. I heard Chloe inhale.

"The point is, I want to spend everyday for the rest of my life with you." I heard her voice echo through the phone before the call ended. I looked up to see her red hair plastered to her face as I remained motionless. "I love you. I want to marry you." Chloe said with tears mixing in with raindrops on her perfect face. "I'll ask you again when you survive tonight." Her words were soft but stern as she knelt down in front of me.


End file.
